Ok, so DH and I decided a couple of months ago that we want to TTC. We are very excited about it, but now there are some things going on at work that are making me think twice. People are leaving and the vibe here is really bad. So my manager calls me and basically asked how I would feel if I did my job plus another position!! I'm sure there is more money involved but it is not the direction I want to go with my career. There plan is to combine two postions into 1 for all 5 people that are left in the dept, so basically I have to suck it up and just go along with their plan or leave. What would you do if you really wanted to start a family now?? Sorry so long, and I hope I made some sense!!! Thanks for listening!!!
HeatherRose
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Re: TORN...need opinions
Seriuosly, i dont think there is ever a GOOD time, it can only be when you feel its right in for you guys. Take on the work if you want to! if you get pregnant right away, and its too much, you say so. I don't think the stress will change the outcome of you getting pregnant, but i don't know much about that.
PeteysBride
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Re: TORN...need opinions
Hmm this is tough.. I mean I guess if it were me I would make a list; I like lists. Make a pro and con list for staying and going. Then compare and go from there.
I mean yes if it is more money that is great for baby starting because you can afford the baby! BUT at the same time, HOW much more stress is it? If you are stressed out all the time, that can affect your conception time-messes with the hormones and all of that.. Same thing happens with women's periods; high stress can make you skip a month.
Anyway, if you do get preggers you don't wnat to be stressing because it is not good for the baby either.
Have you spoken to your Dh and gotten his input? I know I myself tend to take things all on myself, but like my DH always tells me, TALK to him...Because maybe he has an alternate plan. Maybe you can leave that job and exist for a little while on your current financial situation until you find something else and THEN try and conceive.
I'm sorry I don't have better advice But I would say, unless you plan to stay at this job and KNOW you can handle the extra work and stress, put off TTC for a lil' bit; healthier for you and the baby.
MeNBobs
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Re: TORN...need opinions
I think you have to plan your work around your life not the other way around. You can't wait to start a family because it is not good timing for your company. Look at this like a blessing you are starting a family and your company is throwing more moneyat you. As long as you can do the work and not stress yourself out too much you should be okay. The first few weeks may be stressful just as things settle but after a while things should go back to normal.
Plus you can't be that busy at work you post on here all day you need the extra work
futuremrsGafforio
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Re: TORN...need opinions
DH thinks I should at least hear them out and give it a chance, which makes sense. I mean I really don't know what I am getting into, until it happens. Like you said, I don't want to be so stressed out that it affects my health, and possibly the baby's. After DH told me what he thought ,I was like, 'Yea, I need to ask my LIW girls'!!!
vika111
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Re: TORN...need opinions
This is tough, but I'm a workaholic, so I would pick work. How much additional stress would the new position give you? Would this new position conflict with the maternity leave? Would you be able to take the position and go on maternity within the next year? There's never the right time, but when a career opportunity that you've worked for arises, I'd say try it and then see if you'd be able to handle a baby with it.
EverlovingEv
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Re: TORN...need opinions
Hmmmm., this is definitely a tough one. Here is what I think - do whatever DH and you think is best for your family. With that said, I agree with the ladies above that there's almost never the perfect time to have a baby but I also know that there is a suggested time by which you should have at least one child before your risk for complications rises significantly. The recommended age to have your first child is 30. I'm 26 (turning 27 in March) and I'm about to start residency which will be the most demanding and stressful 3 years of my life and I still plan on having my first child before I hit 30.
Good luck making this tough decision
futuremrsGafforio
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Re: TORN...need opinions
I would still be entitled to my whopping 5 weeks maternity leave!!!!!
FullersBride
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I wouldn't wait.....There will never be a perfect time to start a family, If you are in a good place now financially and emotionally I would say start now, you neer know how long it will take you to get pregnant could be 1 month or 7.
Everything happens for a reason, just go with it and trust you will be ok!!
futuremrsGafforio
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Re: TORN...need opinions
Posted by EverlovingEv
Hmmmm., this is definitely a tough one. Here is what I think - do whatever DH and you think is best for your family. With that said, I agree with the ladies above that there's almost never the perfect time to have a baby but I also know that there is a suggested time by which you should have at least one child before your risk for complications rises significantly. The recommended age to have your first child is 30. I'm 26 (turning 27 in March) and I'm about to start residency which will be the most demanding and stressful 3 years of my life and I still plan on having my first child before I hit 30.
Good luck making this tough decision
I'm not getting any younger!! I will be 29 in June!!!
EverlovingEv
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Re: TORN...need opinions
Posted by futuremrsGafforio
Posted by EverlovingEv
Hmmmm., this is definitely a tough one. Here is what I think - do whatever DH and you think is best for your family. With that said, I agree with the ladies above that there's almost never the perfect time to have a baby but I also know that there is a suggested time by which you should have at least one child before your risk for complications rises significantly. The recommended age to have your first child is 30. I'm 26 (turning 27 in March) and I'm about to start residency which will be the most demanding and stressful 3 years of my life and I still plan on having my first child before I hit 30.
Good luck making this tough decision
I'm not getting any younger!! I will be 29 in June!!!
Don't worry about it too much sweetie. We've all seen women in their 40's giving birth to perfectly healthy babies. This is just a guideline that is recommended but it's def not written in stone.
