treating others like you were treated when its their time?
shcole08
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treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I was just wondering if you felt hard to go out of your way for people since your wedding when they didnt attend things for you or go out of there way. I have a friend who is getting married and she didnt come to my batchlorette party and now I am going to be spending alot of money for her and I just feel like I want to let it go but its hard.
RadiantBride
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I havent been in the situation yet BUT it will be a little hard. Like why should I go out of my way for you when you couldnt do it for me. It might sound like I hold grudges and its not like that (at least fully) Just how I feel.
TommysWife08
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
we just got an invitation in the mail for DH's friend's wedding in california in june.... while i would LOVEEEE to go to CA - they didnt come to our wedding NOR did they send a card or gift - NOTHING!!!
so yeah im finding it hard to spend the $$ on a flight for their wedding which is PS on a friday.... so extra hard for ppl coming from NY!!
jonsgirl04
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I know exactly what you mean... Im in the same boat....
Mici n KC
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There were some people that I did a lot for that didnt' do for me. Now that I have other friends getting married (and these people didn't do for me) I'm doing the same thing back. Selfish, yes, but oh well.
Autumn08
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I don't want to get into detail but I know the feeling. If you figure it out, send some advice my way! LOL
lizzie217
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
Posted by shcole08
I was just wondering if you felt hard to go out of your way for people since your wedding when they didnt attend things for you or go out of there way. I have a friend who is getting married and she didnt come to my batchlorette party and now I am going to be spending alot of money for her and I just feel like I want to let it go but its hard.
Honestly if I was in that situation (which Im not my friends were all awesome) I probably would not to more than they did for me. Maybe that sounds petty....but I would rather invest the $$, time and energy into my friends who love me and who were there for me. Friendship is a two way street..I am there for my friends they are there for me. Anything else I don't waste my time,$$ or energy on....JMO
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I think it all depends. If the friend you are talking about couldn;t be bothered with anything for you and made it clear she was not interested - do not go out of your way for her. If she just couldn't make it to your bach but came to your shower, gave you a gift for the wedding and shower -- and if she is a close friend you cherish - go to the bach. if you can.
I don't believe in 'an eye for an eye' normally -- but you have to do what's best for YOU. If you feel you want to give her the best wedding exp possible because she is a dear friend of yours, DO IT. If she isn't that close to you and you feel like she does not value your friendship .... religion and other will say 'do onto others as you would have them do onto you ...' but I do not believe that in this case. If someone has shown they do not value you in their life, do not bend over backwards for them. You'll only feel used and unappreciated.
jaep129
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
Agreed! Its hard. I had a 'Friend' who didnt do anything or came to anything. When it was her turn guess what.....I did the same! I didnt go to her bach. party/shower/or wedding. I know that might be F'd up but I was hurt!
Bride908
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I think it depends on the situation. If a so called friend treated my badly without good reason then I would probably reciprocate the same way.
MnM182008
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
Feel the same way. We got invited to two weddings since our wedding. Neither of the couples came to our wedding, one actually didn't respond till 1 week prior to our wedding. Neither couple sent a card or gift. While, we want to go to the weddings because we are friendly with them, we sort of feel like its unfair.
One thing I would never do is not rsvp like they did to me. That is just so rude.
SFAR89
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
A girl I used to work with but was never really close with, found out about my Bridal Shower. She wound up emailing me with this fit about how she never got an invite. I figured people would get a clue if I didn't want them coming, but she made a big deal of it, and I did work with her so I ****** it up and sent one out. She arrived 10 minutes before everyone left from the shower. :)
Then I sent an invite out for the wedding b/c god forbid she didn't get one. She told me she was not only coming, but with a guest. She wound up not showing up for the wedding.
I sent her an email and B!tched her out about it because she sent me a random email asking me something or w/e. So whatever...I told her she was rude and that she could have at least called me the day before b/c I could've saved the money or w/e.
Now she wants me to come to her childs babtism and I feel like not going lol I probably wont go b/c I just don't like the girl to begin with...plus all the crap she pulled anyway...so I don't feel bad.
futuremrsfab
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I'm too bitter to be the bigger person- so I wont be attending my friend's baby shower since she didnt come to my shower, my bachelorette party & left after 20 minutes at the cocktail hour at the wedding
SFAR89
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
Posted by futuremrsfab
I'm too bitter to be the bigger person- so I wont be attending my friend's baby shower since she didnt come to my shower, my bachelorette party & left after 20 minutes at the cocktail hour at the wedding
I think regardless of it being a wedding, birthday party, or regular friendly get together. I always go into every situation with this on my mind 'Treat people the way you would want to be treated'. I just don't think it's fair for someone to do that to someone else and expect for you to then show up to something of theirs.
kirstenjk
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
It hasn't happened yet but I know I will have a hard time going out of my way for those who didn't even make an effort for me. I really am over going above and beyond for people who don't even bother doing the bare minimum.
MCA1180
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
honestly, and I know I'm a brat for saying this, but if it were me, if this person is a friend, they would've been there for me.. so why should I go out of my way for them if they didn't care for me?... that's bad I know but I hate when people take advantage of others.
of course it all depends on the friends situation... if my friend was just brushing me off i'd be pissed... but if they were in a financial crunch.. or had someting going on in their life that prevented them from being there for me, then i'd totally understand and would not hold that against them, i'd be for them...
shcole08
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
Well, the thing is I had my batchorette party in Fire Island. And I can understand if she couldnt afford it. If she only came for one night it would have only been like $50. But, she ended up not coming. She came to my shower. BUt, in the past she never comes to my birthdays etc. But, in the past year we have gotten closer and I cant come to her shower because i will be in LA. Now, I am always whatever about money when it comes to friends. Even if I dont have it I will make a way to get it. SO her b-party in total will be $135pp.
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I felt exactly that way they were at all events but ask me if they made me feel like they were all there for me no way could I ever say I felt they were. Why should I break my back for someone elses wedding when I didn't feel they did that for me. I just did what I was suppose to do and nothing extra because it was too close to when mine was and I had no time to get over harsh feelings but I did it. You can get through it
GinaZ
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I know what you mean. My two BMs/BFFs didn't come to my shower or bach party cus of $$. Literally they were supposed to be at my shower and called my sister that day saying they couldnt afford the gas $ to make it down. But I dont buy the money thing. They are not poor. Both have/had good jobs at the time. And ya it still kinda upsets me, but I was still at the shower and bach party for one of them and will be for the other. i dont want them to feel the way I felt.
MrsLarrea2B
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Re: treating others like you were treated when its their time?
I LOVE this question!!!
I have been married for what? 2.5 weeks? and I am already planning my revenge!!! LOL
My only regret is having gone 'above and beyond' for other people who def. didn't appreciate squat.
As far as the next 2 weddings I have coming up ~ I was pretty lucky b.c they were really awsome and def. went above and beyond for me.
However, regarding those other people who didnt return the favor - (funny how its mainly those who already got married) - I refuse to attend any future events , and if I do, I am definitely not going to break the bank for their 'gift'.
