******May 28th 2008******
OK, we are hanging in there... Today Kenneth opened both of his eyes all the way and looked at my Mother. My Mom said (again - she has been saying this but just to make sure he knows and doesn't worry/wonder where he is or what happened) my Mom said 'Kenneth, it is OK - you have been in an accident but you are doing SO well and are doing better and better each and everyday. You keep fighting and we are ALL here with you. You have been here just over a week and are showing such great signs each day' and just as she was saying this to him a tear came from his eye and rolled down his cheek. I was devastated and at the same time amazed... he understands! He understands what happened and has registered an emotion to the story. It sent a sense of pain throughout my body like I have never experienced before and at the same time part of me said 'wow, THANK GOD, what a sign - he understands'.
Then, at one point, he looked SO exhausted from trying to communicate with us all day, squeeze our hands, etc. so I was singing to him and I said 'Kenneth, if you want to close your eyes and sleep then you can - it is OK - I'm with you no matter what - don't feel bad, close them and rest' and he did.
They allowed him to breathe on his own today -- still had the tube in but turned the machine off. He was doing great on his own but they put it back on so he doesn't over do it. It is unbelievable how we can get such AWFUL news from the CT scan and then have such wonderful outcome from Kenneth.
It is like the minute we get a bad result he says '$crew that stupid scan - look how good i'm doing!'. that's just his way - and i'm not even surprised by it. he always went above and beyond - always had a way of being the one to 'defy the odds'.
i feel hopeful and i needed that hope after the news we got from the scan - i cannot tell you how amazing the stories i've read -- either through posts or FM's -- of people recovering and going against the odds -- thank GOD for them b/c just when i'm at rock bottom - it lifts me up.
thank you for the prayers and if i could just ask for them to be continued as he fights and fights to get back to us. the nurse keeps saying it is like he is inside fighting to come out to us.
it is so hard to see someone you love so much experience this and start to understand what is happening or what has happened to him -- he just looks into my eyes like 'why can't i talk?' 'help me - what happened to me?' and he has all these questions and just looks at you and i just keep telling him he is going to be OK. it is absolutely heart breaking - i wouldn't wish this on anyone.
before i left tonight i told him to just rest for the night - he had spent a good portion of the day up, squeezing our hands, trying to move here and there, looking at us, listening to us -- it is exhausting for him so i told him i was going to sing him to bed. i sang to him until he fell asleep and then i left him in the care of the docs and all of his police brothers for the night.
i realized tonight the kind of love i have for him and how much he means to me - there is nothing in this world i wouldn't do for him and i would trade places with him in an instant.
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