Vent: ILs -- Warning LONG

Ughhhh...im at the point of hating my ILs. Moving in with them was the worst decision EVER. I know we're moving out soon....but I feel liek I cant take anymore.

MIL leaves vitamins out for DH everyday (which to begin with is absolutely rediculous) and she keep saying to me 'oh, you have to give him his vitamins everyday when you move out'-- WHAT? He's 23 years old. He can take his vitamins on his own. He's a big boy. When we lived in our apartment I left the bottles on the counter and he took them when he remembered. If he cant remember....he gets sick. Big deal. He's not freakin 3....he can figure it out on his own.

Then, we're planning the move and the way the Army works is you get reinbursed by howmany pounds you move. So, technically, the more your moving truck weighs, the more money you get paid back. So, we want to have our bedroom furniture delivered to where we're living now, then move it into the Uhaul and bring it down to GA with us (this way we get more money for traveling with it). WELL....as DH and I are talking about this, MIL butts in and says 'Jennifer, just have it delivered down to GA. Theres no point having it delivered up here. Its just more work.' Ummmm nobody asked you for your opinion! They do this CONSTANTLY -- anytime DH and I are having a conversation about something they either interupt to star talking about their own stuff, or they butt in and voice an opinion that was never asked for.

And then to top it all off...last night DH and I sat down to eat dinner on our own. They come in, plop down at the dinner table and start listening to our convo. I had told DH that I found a great recipe for Baby Back Ribs in a slow cooker. Since it cooks for like 7 hours I mentionned maybe I'll throw the ribs in the crock pot as soon as we get to the apartment in GA so it can cook while we're unloading the truck. MIL chimes in to DH 'you've got a real ambitious little wife there, dont you?' So I reply 'I dont think its overly ambitious-- it just cooks by itself for hours. I dont need to do anything'. And she goes 'well I think you're trying to do too much in one day' -- again....no one asked you. I felt like saying 'I'm having a conversation with my HUSBAND here -- f u c k off!' The fact is...if I get therer and decided I cant do the ribs, then I wont. I dont need someone else to tell me what I do or dont have time for.

Am I overreacting here? I mean....I just feel like I can never talk to DH without having them listening, voicing unwanted opinions, snooping, etc.

They even planned a Going Away party for us without telling us first....which is a nice gesture....except the party was planned for 3 days before we leave (on a weekend when we have to pack). I mean, if you know someone is leaving in 3 days and they're moving far away...wouldnt you make sure they dont have to pack and stuff on that day before you plan a party that they have to attend?! And then when we found out about it (through another source) we told them the date wasnt going to work for us because its our only weekend to pack they threw a FIT and got mad at us. They claimed they absolutely 'couldnt do it' for the weekend before that They ended up swtiching the date, but they put up a fuss about it.

I dont know.....I feel like this whole experience is going to change my relationship with them forever. I just feel like they're so pushy, nosy, annoying and rude. I cant wait to move out and I'm dreading having kids. I can just imagine how they're going to tell me how to raise my children

Ok vent over.

sounds like you MIL is just having a VERY hard time letting go of her little boy (that's how she sees him in her eyes) -- and to her. NO ONE is good enough so she has to be there sniffing after to make sure he's 'okay.'

just suuck it up for now--cause you are leaving soon and because of that fact, your MIL is going to be even sadder and instead of just coming out and saying that--she will instead nitpick every single thing you do. ignore this--unless she insults you directly -- then its game on.

remember--you are moving away and starting your life together soon....that's the most important thing!!!!

arggh You poor thing! It's so hard living with anyone- imagine nosy pushy annoying inlaws? It's par for the course, unfortunately. You'll be out of there soon. Try not to let it hurt your relationship down the road....they mean well but really haven't a clue how they're making you feel. I'm so sorry!!! I can only imagine how tough it is!

What does your husband say / do about all this.

Sounds like he's the one who needs to tell them to f*ck off.

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Posted by Kara and Todd

What does your husband say / do about all this.

Sounds like he's the one who needs to tell them to f*ck off.

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I kinda agree with this...has DH said anything to hid parents about backing off a little? I'm sorry they are causing you stress..Especially when it's a fairly stressful time to begin with. Just remember that pretty soon you will be gone so try to keep the peace as long as possible. When is your moving date?

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Posted by BunnyBride

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Posted by Kara and Todd

What does your husband say / do about all this.

Sounds like he's the one who needs to tell them to f*ck off.

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I kinda agree with this...has DH said anything to hid parents about backing off a little? I'm sorry they are causing you stress..Especially when it's a fairly stressful time to begin with. Just remember that pretty soon you will be gone so try to keep the peace as long as possible. When is your moving date?

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I know...you're right. I've told him how I feel about their behavior time and again. He did talk to them once about it in the very beginning, but they seem to have ignored him. And he refuses to talk to them about it again. He says to 'ignore it.' But thats very hard to do when its happening constantly and then it eats at me.

We move on the 28th of this month, so its not much longer thank goodness....but the problem is, its getting worse because they think they can continue to butt in and interupt and such because we havent exactly stopped them yet. I think the problem is, DH feels bad saying anything to them about it because we're living in THEIR house right now.

Unfortunetly, I think the next couple of weeks will be even worst. I agree with MJ Doc that she is having a really hard letting go. I am so sorry that you are going thru this, I have been there and your fh has to stand up for you more. He has to be the one who talks to them, its hard to ignore, but at the same time he doesnt want to start trouble. Fighting with DH is what she wants do your best to let it go because you have 16 days left and then you are moving to another state

im sorry to hear that heres some
but at least u get far far away from them soon!
they aren't 10 min away to show up when they please

do what you please if you want to do a tons of stuff do it.. the more you do the less time it takes to get settled... i set up our whole house in 24 hours... i worked my butt off but it paid off 10 fold

tell ur fmil u dont believe in vitamins that the benefit is all in ur head and watch her head explode haha
(my fave pasttime is needling my fmil hahahaha take it up. .its a stress relieveer)

and ps can i have the shortrib recipe!

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Posted by futrmrsblt

im sorry to hear that heres some
but at least u get far far away from them soon!
they aren't 10 min away to show up when they please

do what you please if you want to do a tons of stuff do it.. the more you do the less time it takes to get settled... i set up our whole house in 24 hours... i worked my butt off but it paid off 10 fold

tell ur fmil u dont believe in vitamins that the benefit is all in ur head and watch her head explode haha
(my fave pasttime is needling my fmil hahahaha take it up. .its a stress relieveer)

and ps can i have the shortrib recipe!

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I'll post it for every one!

does DH get annoyed by it?? If so have him tell her to back off... or at least vent to him she is annoyiing the S H I T outta you-- and although you only have to put up with it for a lil while longer-- it may leave a bad taste in your mouth for a while...

my MIL insists on calling to wake him up every morning... he cant shut off his cell phone ( as per Air Force reg's) and he was the one who has to stop it... in the meantime-- Occasionally whn I get up to lett he dog out or change the baby-- I'll give a call to say hey at 430 am--- she's gotten the hint

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Posted by kflan75

-- Occasionally whn I get up to lett he dog out or change the baby-- I'll give a call to say hey at 430 am--- she's gotten the hint

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ROFL

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Posted by heatherandrichie

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Posted by kflan75

-- Occasionally whn I get up to lett he dog out or change the baby-- I'll give a call to say hey at 430 am--- she's gotten the hint

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ROFL

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OY......that is sooooo annoying!
You just have got to get to GA.......you must be counting down the days!

This is a very awkward period....annd whil your IL's hearts are in the right place, it sounds like its getting to be a bit much.......

How much longer, anyway?

I don't know what to say to make it better b/c I can't even imagine this.......all I do is remind you that this is ONLY TEMPORARY.....its not forever.

well, they're parents.... which by definition means they're quirky.... in low doses, it's amusing and charming, while in high doses, you want to jump out of a window and go running screaming into the night......

Just keep your distance, and don't take any of this junk personally. Most parents stopped trying to be unintrusive years ago..... it will only frustrate you to think they will change. you've been absorbed into their family, and they obviously view your entire relationship as 'cute' (hence the little wifey comments), while you want to be taken seriously. you simply won't be... but they seem to be doing this in an endearing / good natured way, so you have to bite your tongue and remind yourself of the intent (which isn't bad).

As for the vitamins, I don't think she's having trouble letting go... I think she's being Mrs. Cleaver.... just taking care of Beaver... Many moms never admit their children are self-sufficient.... becuase then, their job is done, and they'd have nothing to do. In grad school, my mom used to 'remind me' to do mundane things like renew my car registration... she said 'if I didn't remind you, it would never get done' Right, as we all know, slackers are the exact people who end up in grad school..... I moved out, and all is well now.
The only solution is to move out... and that's right on the horizon.... so just keep looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. Before you know it, you'll be out of here.... and soon you'll even forget how annoying they are, and your relationship will be restored

I feel your pain. I lived with my mother in law once for about 3 months when our aartment flooded in the middle of our college semester. Needless to say it was the biggest mistake of my life, it put a HUGE strain on DH and my relationship and my relationship with his mom was almost ruined because she is nuts (DH is an ONLY CHILD ) Talk about mamma's little boy. Anyways, you have every right to be annoyed. THings will get better when you move out.

Hang in there

arrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! thats the WORST! But it WILL change as soon as you move out.. it'll all be FINE after youre gone!!! Just hang in there for a while

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Posted by portjeffbride

well, they're parents.... which by definition means they're quirky.... in low doses, it's amusing and charming, while in high doses, you want to jump out of a window and go running screaming into the night......

Just keep your distance, and don't take any of this junk personally. Most parents stopped trying to be unintrusive years ago..... it will only frustrate you to think they will change. you've been absorbed into their family, and they obviously view your entire relationship as 'cute' (hence the little wifey comments), while you want to be taken seriously. you simply won't be... but they seem to be doing this in an endearing / good natured way, so you have to bite your tongue and remind yourself of the intent (which isn't bad).

As for the vitamins, I don't think she's having trouble letting go... I think she's being Mrs. Cleaver.... just taking care of Beaver... Many moms never admit their children are self-sufficient.... becuase then, their job is done, and they'd have nothing to do. In grad school, my mom used to 'remind me' to do mundane things like renew my car registration... she said 'if I didn't remind you, it would never get done' Right, as we all know, slackers are the exact people who end up in grad school..... I moved out, and all is well now.
The only solution is to move out... and that's right on the horizon.... so just keep looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. Before you know it, you'll be out of here.... and soon you'll even forget how annoying they are, and your relationship will be restored

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Everything she said.

Plus a couple of because I know you must be going out of your damn mind right now. I felt myself get annoyed when I read that 'ambitious' comment.

Definitely sounds like they are having small issues letting go of their 'little boy' and they havent realized taht he is grown