wedding gifts

Did you have anyone who came to your wedding but didn't give a gift-not even a card? I had 2 people. How do you handle a situation like that??

My cousin and his girlfriend gave us nothing, not even a card. Another couple said they had brought a gift, but left it in the car and would get it to us after the wedding. I haven't heard a word about it since then.

In both cases, I sent a thank you note just thanking them for being there to share our special day with us.

I had 3 couples do that to me. One said they left it in the car - they mailed it out a couple of weeks later.

Two others, I haven't heard anything. I plan on just doing a 'thank you for sharing our day' thank you card.

I actually did not have this happen to me. There were definitely some instances where you can tell that they only gave what they were able to, which wasn't much, but we appreciated that we even got that because we knew the situations. The only non-gifters bailed last minute and said they'd send their gift, but since I decided to cut them out of my life and not respond to the message I obviously didn't get it. Not worth the gift IMO.

However, if I did have a non-gifter I would send a very pointed thank you card saying thank you for COMING.

i have that situation... with TWO cousins - they happen to be brother and sister... must run in the family... anyway... is it bad? i'm spiteful...let's just say their TY card is in the mail... i should realllllyy grow up! i think that if you just thank them for COMING! as ali said!! :o) that gets the point across... i just can't bring myself to do it yet...

ETA: in my defense, there's a LONGGGG story behind these two...:o)

We had one couple. One of MIL's friends from work. We told MIL & she didn't want to say anything. So we don't know if they didn't give or if it was lost.

I was planning on not saying anything either and just sending a ty card ( which I just got a call they are ready!!)
one is my dads friend from Knights of Columbus my mom said he prob thinks he was an honorable invite.
the other was my friend from college who isnt the type of person not to give something but is kind of like that that she may have forgotten.

This is such a sore subject for me!

I had a few who did just that but later on gave a gift- 6 months to a year later.

I have one inparticular person who at this point I despise! She was a co-worker of mine who I was really close with! 2 days before my wedding they had a pre- wedding party for me at the office wishing me a Congradualtions! She told me right then and there that She can't wait to come and see me in my wedding dress and dance with me and all of my girls...SHE NEVER SHOWED!

She has an emergency come up and couldn't attend..but she couldn't tell me why in an e-mail or over the phone! She kept telling me she'll take me to lunch and tell me..it never happened! Still waiting for the truth from her! I haven't heard high or low from her..

My friend told me why she couldn't come finally a year later..cause I was fed up and asked her and I knew she knew. She had to go away on a business trip with her husband and her husband's father would of been mad if she couldn't go..what BS!!! She wanted to call me on my wedding day to tell me but my friend told her not to! Not to mention she never showed to my shower cause she had to do Bellport Day! She said she had to support her community..oh yeah what about supporting your secretary who goes over and beyond for you!!! So I have no shower gift and no wedding gift from her!!! The only reason I found out this information 2 months ago was because my friend's MIL had passed away and when I went to the funeral found out that she didn't attention cause she was 'busy' and she works with my friend! If I was given the chance I love to tell her what I think of her..basically tell her to go F off!!

This was supposed to be if I ever had a situation like yours and it turned into a Rant!!! So Sorry!!!..LOL

We did have one person. I know she was financially hurting though and she came all the up from Florida because she felt bad that none of my mom's family would be there. She is my mom's cousin and since my mom is an only child and the rest of her family left LI, no one was coming. So I just graciously sent her a card thanking her for making the trip and telling her it was nice to see her.

I do know people who have sent cards thanking them just for coming, not mentioning a gift, and the person called wondering why they didn't get their gift. I would send a thanks for coming, you might get a gift out of it and if not you were the bigger person.

We had a few.. One specifically told us she couldnt afford it. The other ignored my emailing saying we didnt get a gift and just wanted to make sure it wasnt lost.

A former bride who h ad the same sitch told me that she never sent thank yous to those people who did not bring gifts... said she read it in an etiquette guide somewhere.

I can see the point in thanking people for the fact that they came, if they made the effort for coming from far away or in a special circumstance but at the same time, if its not someone from out of town-- what are you thanking them for?

You fed them, provided them with alcohol and entertainment, and invited them to a party , what exactly are you thanking THEM for? If you invited someone to your home for dinner would you send them a thank you card afterwards just for coming?