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Wedding guest cheapos

snowflake Posted:

Wedding guest cheapos

We all have to admit it. The sad reality is that some guests are 'wedding cheapos.' They come to the party, eat and drink and then never give a gift (some of them will never give a car either!). Do you still keep in touch with them? Obviously, they were important enough to be invited to the wedding but after a stunt like this, can you keep in contact and accept their lack of thoughtfulness?

waterspout4 Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

I know it's hard, but you get over it. The most important thing is that they were there to celebrate with us. I did find out that etiquette states that people are not required to give gifts at a wedding. Who knew? It's only proper for a shower. I know. It still stinks donkey balls.

july06bride Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

We had some 'wedding cheapos' and as much as we dont have a wedding for the gifts and their 'presence is present enough' I will admit to being a bit 'put off' by some people-especially DHs family and family friends- but really what can one do? We had dinner with a couple of them tonight-was I friendly-YES,will we keep in touch-OF COURSE,
but will we be generous at birthdays?holidays?communions?etc...NO WAY!
I am not stupid ya know...



Kris516 Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

Ouch.

Although a gift is expected, your post is a bit...harsh. Loosing touch w/ someone is a little drastic. We had people that didn't give gifts, and as unexpected as it was, some we understood, and others we were a bit more suprised over. Regardless of the reason, we're still sending thank yous, and as for keeping in touch? Definitely.

Money isn't worth it....is it?
stephanief Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos


Posted by snowflake

We all have to admit it. The sad reality is that some guests are 'wedding cheapos.' They come to the party, eat and drink and then never give a gift (some of them will never give a car either!). Do you still keep in touch with them? Obviously, they were important enough to be invited to the wedding but after a stunt like this, can you keep in contact and accept their lack of thoughtfulness?



This again? This is where I stand on this issue, your wedding is NOT a fundraiser...it is a celebration of love, no one NEEDS to give you anything.....that being said, of course I still keep in touch with the 'cheapos'

why wouldn't you?
kathrynlinton Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos


Posted by Kris516

Ouch.

Although a gift is expected, your post is a bit...harsh. Loosing touch w/ someone is a little drastic. We had people that didn't give gifts, and as unexpected as it was, some we understood, and others we were a bit more suprised over. Regardless of the reason, we're still sending thank yous, and as for keeping in touch? Definitely.

Money isn't worth it....is it?




I totally agree!!

And I also agree with the pp who said that your wedding is NOT a fundraiser. Just b/c you are getting married doesn't mean that you are entitled to ANYTHING!
soon2bcopswife Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

I hate to get everyone all crazy again, but.......

I was always raised that if you go to someone's house for dinner, shouldn't you bring something? Cookies, wine, a hostess gift........ So why should a wedding be any different, even if it's a photo album from Walmart, it's the thought....

Honestly, it's not so much the amount as it is the thought of something special.
LaurenluvsTJ Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

We had people who stiffed us and yeah, it was disappointing (especially our best man who didn't even give us a card), but I would not end friendships over it, its just not worth is. Some people are dumbasses, and you probably knew that before the wedding.

soon2bcopswife Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos


Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

We had people who stiffed us and yeah, it was disappointing (especially our best man who didn't even give us a card), but I would not end friendships over it, its just not worth is. Some people are dumbasses, and you probably knew that before the wedding.



very true, some people honestly don't know.
SuzBride Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

Honestly, I was only hurt by one non-gift giver, but not so much cause she didn't give a gift, but more because she didn't give us a card even. I have been friends with her since I was 12 and if she got married I know I would have bought a card and written something really long to mark such a special occasion. It just hurt my feelings I guess (I save cards too - I am ALL about them)

ETA: I may feel hurt for a while, but I would never end my friendship over it.
johnsae Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

most of ours are DH's friends, and I don't really hang out with most of them anyway.

Kris516 Posted:

Re: Wedding guest cheapos

My point wasn't so much over lack of gift....I'm not implying that b/c you expected a gift you thought of your wedding as a fund raiser. This topic came up before. I was more surprised that you were so offended you would choose to loose touch. For the 'stiffers' at our wedding, I'm almost more embarrassed for them then I am mad at them.

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