What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

Future Mrs. Posted: Oct 03, 2007 12:02 AM

What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

We all fantasized for a really long time about how blissful marraige would be. I remember longing for that life partner, having dreams of cooking home cooked meals every night, and finishing off each day with blissful love making.

Not to say that marraige isn't wonderful, yet it's a lot of work! Good work, of course, but work! What are some of the ways that marraige differs in real life, then the way you envisioned?

For me, its finances. We bought a house, and I never realized how much I woould ever worry about finances. WHat if something goes wrong with on of our jobs? what if something happens to the house that is major?? A flood, for example. What will we do?????????

I always thought that once we were married, it would be SO EASY to spend time together.....but its not! With busy jobs, and a lot of responsibility, we often have to carve out time to spend together. In a lot of ways this is fun, b/c we plan things to look forward to, even just small things, like watching a dvd or eating dinner together.

I also find myself folding a lot more laundry than I had bargained for. SOmetimes I swear I spned my LIFE folding DH underwear.

What about you?

luvabul Posted: Oct 03, 2007 12:05 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

finding 'quality' time to spend with each other.... quality time does not include watching CNN with DH or folding laundry, were so busy i feel like we have to pre-plan to even have sex

but overall marriage is a beautiful thing i must say

ruzi777 Posted: Oct 03, 2007 12:08 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

Honestly....I don't think I had a Big Shock yet...we don't have a house yet....But we have Fianaces....So I too Worry about losing our jobs, or gettin hurt on our jobs, or getting really sick & not able to work.
I always worry about Bills

Daisy Bride Posted: Oct 03, 2007 12:48 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

I've only been married 10 days & I just moved in last weekend so the only thing I notice so far is that I'm always going to be cold, he blasts the air all day & night & it's not even hot out anymore

kissy27 Posted: Oct 03, 2007 07:01 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

We bought our house prior to marriage but the finances definately were a big impact in the beginning. We both had to come to terms of what we could afford to do since we did have extra payments to make. It wasn't really a shock to me, it was more of a learning experience.

I think the biggest thing that changed, but still wasn't a shock, was spending quality time together. DH works some extremely long hours especially during certain seasons. There is nothing worse then cooking a nice meal & then getting a phone call that DH won't be home til 8! So I think the nights eating alone. We try to spend quality time together on the weekends but sometimes we are so caught up in the household chores, that we just consider out time together as quality.

TnOiOnL Posted: Oct 03, 2007 08:14 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

I think the biggest shock I've had yet is finding out that DH REALLY drinks a glass of milk before bed. I always thought he was joking
No shocks yet

B22 Posted: Oct 03, 2007 08:45 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

Things really havent changed much for us. We lived together already... we were *legally* married in May... and we're raising a child together..

The biggest change is my name and I can FINALLY call him my husband..

B22 Posted: Oct 03, 2007 08:46 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

Posted by Daisy Bride

I've only been married 10 days & I just moved in last weekend so the only thing I notice so far is that I'm always going to be cold, he blasts the air all day & night & it's not even hot out anymore

OMG my DH does that.... I'm ALWAYS COLD and snuggled up under all the blankets..

I finally got him to turn it off when he leaves in the morning so I dont have to wake up in a freezer.

LitBallerinaGirl Posted: Oct 03, 2007 09:23 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

I thought that the bride was supposed to get all comfortable and start gaining weight, but since our wedding DH has seriously defined the meaning of triple bacon burger double the beef!

Love4Eva Posted: Oct 03, 2007 09:55 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

I would have to say the biggest shock is how long everything takes, and how we have so little quality time.

DandS Posted: Oct 03, 2007 09:57 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

The biggest thing for me was DH works a lot of hours on certain seasons (I am talking 100 hours a week June, July and August, and 60-70 hours a week April, May, September and October) and being home alone was and still is very hard to adjust to. We did not live together before we got married so when he worked all these hours I was home with my family and their was always someone around. Now when he works these hours I am home alone in our house and it really gets to me sometimes. I knew it is his job and I always dealt with it fine when we were dating, but being home on my days off on a Saturday or Sunday alone from 8am-1am (14 hours) can really get very boring! Needless to say my house is spotless because all I do is clean and clean again. I go visit people as much as I can or go shopping but when I get home to an enpty house I just want my husband there with me. Oh well, Novemeber is fast approaching and his hours will then go to 40 hours a week so I am happy just thinking about that.

HamptonsBride Posted: Oct 03, 2007 11:07 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

i guess i'd say that after living together for 5 years....and being together for 6...that things are even better now that we are married...they were always great...but there is an even deeper sense of committment i think...i figured everything would just be the same...except i got to wear a new ring...haha

B22 Posted: Oct 03, 2007 11:10 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

Posted by LitBallerinaGirl

I thought that the bride was supposed to get all comfortable and start gaining weight, but since our wedding DH has seriously defined the meaning of triple bacon burger double the beef!

rkl1130 Posted: Oct 03, 2007 11:14 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

One of the biggest things is the effort it takes to make time together. We thought that we wouldn't have a problem with this once we moved in together, but we are both so busy!

Also his mom. Seriously--she was great. Once we moved and got married, she's all over DH. She won't let him go and insists that he come over almost everyday and all day on Sundays--that eats away at our time together too...not to mention the one day of the week where we can actually have a really nice dinner at home.

JessicaM. Posted: Oct 03, 2007 11:25 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

that it has lasted this long

but really, come on.

I never had a 'fantastical' vision of marriage b/c my life with my then boyfriend was far from 'fantastical' anyway. Why would marriage change that?

If anything, having to be in the same house with him every day (even when I'd rather not) made the prospect LESS appealing in some ways, b/c I wouldn't have the space/time I needed when we would argue or be otherwise upset with each other.

dreams and fantasies are like everything else: the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

there are countless articles and books written about the 'damage' impossible expectations (that ultimately fail) can place on a marriage.

disechantment is a given when you realise that life...even married life...is not a fairy tale. but once you do that, you may see that reality does not necessarily bite either.

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Oct 03, 2007 11:33 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

definitely the fretting over finances!!

portjeffbride Posted: Oct 03, 2007 11:47 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

I'm fairly sure that stress primarily originates from owning a home and having kids. We ALMOST bought a home, but we decided to wait.... so no stress or surprises yet we did live together for several years, though... so we didn't have any major changes.....

aimes1313 Posted: Oct 03, 2007 11:48 AM

Re: What is the biggest shock of your marraige?

We lived together almost 2 years before the wedding, so marriage hasn't brought any major shocks. But the hardest adjustment for me when we moved in together was the lack of personal space. DH is starting a business and works from home so he is ALWAYS THERE. I love spending time with him, but it would be nice to have some private time at home to decompress without him standing over me.