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What would you do...

Jenn04 Posted:

What would you do...

We are going to a wedding in Utah this weekend. We have known about it for a long time and booked our tickets over 8 months and planned to stay with DH's best friend while there for the 4 nights. (Dh's best friend and wife are also invited to the wedding.)

Now here is the sad part - DH's friend's wife was diagnosed with a rare form of skin cancer 2 weeks ago and had to have an abnormal lump surgically removed from below her skin. Yesterday she had to go back in for a 2nd surgey so could make sure they had removed all the scar tissue and when did they found some unusal nodules on her muscles. They left the wound open and covered with gauze and she is in a lot of pain but on Friday she goes back in to have a specialist look at the nodules. Her mother has flown in for the week and is staying with them. There is only 1 guest bedroom and now the mother will have to sleep on the couch or pull-out couch when we come.

DH told his friend we will get a hotel room but the friend insists we stay there because we had this planned for so long and doesnt want to put us out. We planned a bunch of things to do and errands to run so we wont be 'in their hair' but I just feel this is a difficult time for them and maybe we should look for a hotel at this point. The friend still insists we stay there though. He is such a nice guy and would feel so bad about us getting the hotel - but I think its the right thing to do.

UPDATE - spoke to DH again and we are staying at the hotel. Thanks for all your help and prayers.
anamaree77 Posted:

Re: What would you do...

How sad. I agree, you're doing the right thing. As much as they want you there, this just isn't the time. IMO, I think you should just find a hotel somewhere close. No matter how many day trips you plan, there will still be the commotion of having people over and they will feel obligated to entertain.

I'm really sorry to hear the news tho, that's so sad. Many prayers that she is ok!
rmsgirl Posted:

Re: What would you do...

I would probably get the hotel room, but also try to find some time to spend with them.

Espo22 Posted:

Re: What would you do...

oh no i am so sorry to hear that

I agree with you, she probably should relax alot and take it easy. Sometimes too many ppl in one house can get hectic. But it might also life her spirits to have others around her keeping her company and being there for her.
Jenn04 Posted:

Re: What would you do...

Yeah I just feel if it were me - I would probably feel relieved if they were getting a hotel room. I love them dearly - but this is a hard time and I think I'd rather have my privacy.

I think I am going to suggest that DH tell them we are getting a hotel for the first 2 nights and then we will play it by ear for the next two nights.
mariaobride Posted:

Re: What would you do...

How sad. I am so sorry to hear . I think I would stay in a hotel also for all 4 nights. Maybe you can visit them during your stay. That is very nice of them to still want you both over but given the circumstances I would feel better allowing them to have their privacy during this time.

I hope she gets better
Aug07OFCbride Posted:

Re: What would you do...

aw, really sorry to hear this! i agree, i think it may be best to find a hotel. the only thing is from what you said, they will probably feel bad, but just reassure them that youre really appreciative that they want to open their house for you guys but you really want them to have some space and be able to relax bc of what they're going through.

AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: What would you do...

Not a NW but I think you should stay at a hotel. That doesn't mean you won't be around to hang out and visit with them and help them out in any way possible though. Since your friends mom is flying in and there is really only one guest bedroom, she should take it.

for your friend's speedy recovery.
medic6809 Posted:

Re: What would you do...

If I were your friends I would also be proactive to let you know just how welcome you are in my home, but as the guest I would also decline and stay at a motel/hotel. I would go visit and take flowers or an edible arrangment and spend some time with them since you planned to in the beginning, but also let them know it is a gat away/vacation and you also want to enjoy time just the two fo you....I hope she's feeling better.

medic6809 Posted:

Re: What would you do...

double post

missliss Posted:

Re: What would you do...

I would stay in the hotel. Let them have some family time and let her mother be there with her without intrusion to take care of her. She's got to be so scared right now and I know that if that were me, I might say the same thing to you guys since those were the plans and I'm sure they do feel terrible about it, but inside I'd probably be hoping that you get a hotel room and that you'd understand, which you do.....so sorry about your DH's friend.

ChipNdipLover Posted:

Re: What would you do...

I'd go for the hotel

Jenn04 Posted:

Re: What would you do...

Thanks girls - I felt like DH gave push back at first but now he totally agrees and we are getting the hotel. Its really a no brainer for me, but needed to hear your opinions.

MeNBobs Posted:

Re: What would you do...

I hope your friend gets good news on Friday

I think staying in a hotel is the right choice. You will be able to see them when you want and give them some time alone when they need it.

Have fun at the wedding. Any pics of your dress to show us?
Jenn04 Posted:

Re: What would you do...


Posted by MeNBobs

I hope your friend gets good news on Friday

I think staying in a hotel is the right choice. You will be able to see them when you want and give them some time alone when they need it.

Have fun at the wedding. Any pics of your dress to show us?



AWw thanks! I do have a really cool dress to wear from BCBG! I dont have pics but will post some when I get back!

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