When do the questions end? (long vent)

Ok, I'm sure some of you have gone through this (please tell me I'm not alone), but I've really had it with the stupid questions that people feel they have the right to ask that are none of their darn beeswax!!!!! Before I met my husband the question was 'when are you going to find a boyfriend?' (I loved that one and I was tempted many times to say something mean, but it was usually family and I was trying to be a good girl :)!!. Then when we were dating it was 'when are you going to get married?'. Then we get engaged and it's 'why are you waiting so long, you're not getting any younger' and now that we're married, the question now is, you guessed it, 'ARE YOU PREGNANT YET?', 'ANY NEWS YET', 'ANY BUNS IN THE OVEN', 'WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOUR CLOCK IS TICKING?' (I know darn well about my ticking clock and I don't need anybody else keeping track of it -- it's mine and I'll let it tick if I want to! So pffft to you!!!) AND SEVERAL OTHER WONDERFULLY PHRASED QUESTIONS PERTAINING TO IT AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??? Not for nothing, but they have no clue if there's a problem or not and it's none of their business. And by these people, my mother and MIL in particular on Mother's Day!!! OH MY GOD!!!! The stress I went through on Sunday was unbelievable. It all started back on Thanksgiving (or was it Christmas, who remembers it's always the same question) when the question was asked yet again and my wonderful, darling, chicken of a husband, turns around and says 'Mother's Day' -- YOU DO NOT TELL THESE TWO THAT!!!!!!!! So, now the two mothers are counting the days from then until now and are all full of smiles all over the place when they walked into our house and kept saying 'anything new?', etc. My husband HAS NO CLUE what they are talking about and doesn't remember that he said that to them just to shut them up!! I told him at the time that it wouldn't work, but what do I know :)!!!! Anyway, this went on ALL day and I was a nervous wreck because add to this the fact that I WAS 2 DAYS LATE (always on time) and I could very well have been!!!!! So now between them and me being nervous, my hubby is a wreck and kept coming in to the kitchen to ask me if 'there's a bun in the oven' and if I'm pregnant. HELLO, did I take a test somewhere between the antipasti and the pasta? I just gave him that look and he went inside. Ok, so now we're up all night talking about it and are now convinced that I am (add to the fact that I had severe agita and heartburn up the wazoo all night). I come in to work still convinced (was planning on buying a test on the way home) and was up until lunch when the dreaded thing made its appearance (total mixed emotions -- very sad :( and depressing ) and then one of the girls who just got married last month comes in and tells us she's pregnant and due in September!!! I'm TOTALLY happy for her, but it hit me because I had just gotten my period a half-hour before she got here and I knew for sure that I wasn't. :(

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand how excited it is for his mom (he's her only child and this would be the first grandchild) and for my mom (I have a 3 yr. old nephew, but she's itching for another grandchild). I also get nervous because his mom is making all these things and buying stuff and I feel like it might jinx it and she's putting the malocchio (in Italian, the evil eye) on it. I know she NEVER would do that, but that's just me being paranoid. I don't want to feel pressured -- I already put that pressure on myself because I know that my clock is ticking and I hate that and I especially hate the fact that I have to be reminded all the time. Let us enjoy our time together for a bit, we've only been married 7 months and I know I'm ready for children, but I think he needs a bit more time, plus we need some time for ourselves to enjoy each other and our marriage. It's a big step and commitment and your lives change forever (all in a good way), but you really have to be ready for it. I say it'll happen when it happens and that God has a plan for everyone and it wasn't in our plan for this month -- maybe next!!!! :)

Thanks for letting me babble on and on with my vent !!

No advice, just lots of sympathy because I'm in the same boat. If Patrick's mother says ONE MORE TIME 'Last week I dreamed you were pregnant...' I may get my tubes tied out of spite! (just kidding, of course!)
So, Bearsbabe I know what you are going through, and you have my sympathy as we sit together on the 'Are you pregnany yet?' couch!

Hi Ladies,

Room for one more on that couch. We are having trouble getting pregnant and are trying to pinpoint with the help of a doctor exactly what's going wrong.

Granted I am 38 and do have a child from a previous marriage, but the relatives and parents are making me even more stressed as well with the 'Are you pregnant yet, what are you waiting for?' or my ultimate favorite, 'you aren't getting any younger. DUH!! Really? No sh*t!! It's none of your business is what I REALLY would like to say . However I bite my tongue and say we're working on it

Bearsbabe & JennRenee- I can relate to what you are saying. Men are so spoostad (Spelling?) about certain things it kills me. Enjoy each other and everything will fall into place when it was meant to be. Tell the mom's you are working on it and then wink....hehe ..maybe it will be TMI and they won't ask again for a while

Thanks Jenn!! I wish there wasn't such a couch, but since there is, I'm glad I'm not sitting by myself!!! LOL

Then you know what the next question is going to be, right? After we have these kids? 'When's the next one?' It never ends, I'm telling ya......

I don't think people realize how terribly rude those kinds of questions are because they are just assuming that anyone and everyone can have children or want children. It seemed like we got a glut of those questions last summer. Depending on my mood, I would smile and say 'all in due time' or something equally as benign. Or...you can always say that you've decided against having any kids at all. Be prepared to catch your MIL when she faints if you give that answer though. All kidding aside, I just think people don't even give it a thought as to how annoying it can be, probably because they don't even realize you are being asked the same question from so many people!

Hang in there!!



Edited to add: On our wedding video, every single family member who had the microphone to wish us well mentioned kids. So it started right from day one!

Thanks KGB, MichelleW, and fm221!!! I must have been posting when you guys posted, otherwise I would have thanked you all at the same time!!

I totally agree with all of you and it amazes me how people feel that they can ask such personal questions. They have no idea the trauma we could be going through at that point. My MIL was yelling 'go home and make a baby' as she was leaving our reception (in the middle of the parking lot) and, wait, it gets better, my father is saying 'DON'T YOU DARE'!!! Can you imagine? I was mortified beyond belief!!!

Then my husband embarrassed the **** out of me the other day, when they were joking around about us trying for one that night and his mother said she was going to 'listen' (we live downstairs from his grandmother & his mom was in for the weekend) and my husband turns around and says 'not tonight, it's a school night, listen Friday and Saturday' -- I COULD HAVE KILLED HIM AND WANTED THE FLOOR TO OPEN UP AND SWALLOW ME!!!!! Oh geez, you gotta love him!!!!

See? This is why I love this place... not only is everyone so super encouraging and sweet, you all make me laugh like crazy! Thanks ladies! It's always a pleasure reading the board!

Oh I almost forgot... I have my friend's sonogram picture on my refrigerator, and when MIL was here on Saturday she saw it and the look on her face was PRICELESS!!! She SO does not realize that the pressure she puts on me makes me so tense and mean. Grrrrr....

Jenn is right, this site is great because you feel so much better knowing you're not the only one going through something, and we do make each other laugh!!!!

I'm already having the day from he** -- the dumba** next door must have hit (almost yanked off I should say) my sideview mirror, I couldn't find a parking spot, I missed the friggin train and I got to work late and I'm pms-ing up the wazoo and in no mood. Whew!!! But once I opened up this post, you guys made me feel better, so thanks!

Have a good day (I can only hope it gets better)!!

BOY! Can I sympathize with all of that! All day on Mother's Day - 'hopefully we'll be saying it to you next year', 'Happy someday a Mother!' UGH! Not to mention we are on month 5 of trying and I had just gotten my period on Saturday. I know they mean well, but listen, no one wants a baby for me right now more than ME! It's not something you want to keep hearing. Add to it that my very religious SIL is starting to say Novenas for me...I guess every little bit helps although, I'm wondering if she thinks we are a lost cause. His family was one episode, then in the car driving to a restaurant with my Mom announcing how she needs to move closer to me to take care of the babies, and walk the baby and blah blah blah the baby, the baby the baby! She threw a nice little dagger about how easy it was for her to get pregnant - one shot! And my MIL who had 9 (count 'em - 9) babies announces to me how 'sometimes these things take time'....hooo boy. I'm bringing a bottle of wine to the couch!!

Mothers, you gotta love 'em!!

and bring a glass (or 2!) for me!

I'm laughing along with you all. !!
Its so true, always a question (or 2 o r 3) to instigate from the family.
When youre dating, 'when are the wedding plans?' (boy did i hear that for 5 years, and it made me sick to my stomach to hear it) and when youre married 'do you plan to have children and when ??' and then when you have your first 'how many do you plan to have? are you going back to work ? And Leaving your child in day care ?? you cant trust ANYONE with your kids nowadays.' Always an opinion here and there, it does get tiring and fustrating to hear peoples opinions !! ARG.
Im even getting tired of hearing peoples opinions on my baby names. (Luciana Alessandra or John Anthony) Now i see why my cousins didnt tell the family until after the baby was born ! Family members can be so rude !! I know that we all dont have the same taste in things, thats what makes us INDIVIDUALS !! but some people are SOOO rude in expressing their difference in opinion!

Lets laugh it off and enjoy our lives !

:)
pass some wine my way ! LOL

Anna, I love the names you've chosen, and if anyone says a word to you about them, give them a good ol' Bronx cheer!
And by the way, no wine for you, mommy-to-be!

unfortunetly that is the only thing that works sometimes. ' when we decide, you will know- until then please do not ask' is what my cous would say to nosy relatives.

and ladies- it will happen ...being stressed by those idots- and some of the dumb things all our hubbies say- will not aid the situation.
I am sneding baby dust your way- may it work when YOU want it to!

Anna, love your names -- I love Italian names and I always said when I have a girl I want to name her either Gianna Marie or Gianna Rose, and my mother makes faces because she's Irish (my father was born in Italy -- Italian/Irish nice combo and some temper ) and wants a grandchild named Kaitlin or Erin or some such thing. NOPE, not from this daughter!!! I'm the Italian one and my sister is the Irish one -- nothing Irish about me, I look totally Italian and I married a Sicilian and he had no clue I was even half-Irish!!! Still doesn't believe it, I'm more Italian then him LOL!!! The names I picked out for boys are also Italian and she's not getting any Patricks either (love the fact I'm picking out names and I'm not even pg, but hey, you have to think ahead, right? LOL). Sorry, no offense, but even my sister didn't pick an Irish name for my nephew -- he's Nicholas Joseph!! LOL :)

Phyl, thanks for the baby dust, every little bit helps!!!

Good luck to both of you!! When are you due?

We've got theItalian/Irish thing going on too... I'm VERY Italian, and he's VERY Irish. What a power struggle!

PS... I love Gianna for a girl, but I think it sounds funny with our Irish last name.