Worried about the future

Dh and I were going to move back in with my dad ths summer and my sister was going to move out. Sister decided she wants to go back to school full time and work part time so she was going to get a loan (actually home equity line of credit - both she and I legally own my father's house) but dad put the kabosh on that. So....she's not moving in order to go to school and work part time and DH and I are now stuck in our apartment, with the money we made off our wedding which is not nearly enough for a down payment on a house. Maybe a co-op. But co-ops are still expensive and we want a 2 bedroom (for future baby and/or when his dad visits us).

DH doesn't make alot of money right now....he could work in a restaurant but doens't want to (being a cook he'd probably have to work nights - therefore never see each other). Not being from this country I think he doesn't get that things just don't land on his lap like they supposedly did back home (he has alot of connections and friends at home and never had a problem getting a decent job). He doesn't have a college degree either so that cuts down on alot of stuff. He could get a license to be an electrician or plumber (he thought about it) but I am 35 this year, and I want to try to start a family come January.

What does all this have to do with each other? I'm scared that when I go on maternity leave and we're already in a co-op, his salary isn't going to cut it with the bills. I mjean I guess we can save - we did it for the wedding - but that was also over a course of 18 months. I don't want to wait that long. heh. plus we have to go overseas not just once but twice later this year. I just can't see how we can afford anything big right now.

I'm just nervous because I'll be on maternity leave for 3 months and I think I won't get paid for that time off (but keep benefits from work). I can't quit because I am the one that gets the medical benefits. DH isn't a citizen yet so trying to get into a union now (and that takes ages to get into) may or may not help.

I'm not asking for advice or hugs or whatever. I'm just scared that we'll be stuck in this ugly apartment forever and not be able to have a baby because we can't even afford it.

I just wish he had a better paying job with benefits so I didn't have to worry about us when I have children.

I of course have no advice but I can give you

i think we all have fears when it comes to the future. i myself freak all the time when i think about starting a family and affording a mortgage. you are not alone in feeling ill at ease im there with you and so are a lot of people. i think things happen for a reason and i do beleive in fate and think that things will work out just fine for you and your dh. he will get a better job soon im sure. i hope you feel better

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Posted by Karen H

Mary - would you consider Middle Island as a location? DH's cousin bought a large 1 bedroom in Artist Lake condos almost 2 years ago - for about $90,000 and I think I've seen 2 Bedrooms listed for about $130,000. Keep an eye on the paper for Condo's in Middle Island that say Artist Lake. It's not easy to find the less expensive places, but they are out there.

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Thanks Karen! Where is Middle Island located?

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Posted by Maribelle7777

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Posted by Karen H

Mary - would you consider Middle Island as a location? DH's cousin bought a large 1 bedroom in Artist Lake condos almost 2 years ago - for about $90,000 and I think I've seen 2 Bedrooms listed for about $130,000. Keep an eye on the paper for Condo's in Middle Island that say Artist Lake. It's not easy to find the less expensive places, but they are out there.

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Thanks Karen! Where is Middle Island located?

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Its out eastern suffolk ( not as far as the hamptons though.) a few minutes from coram and about 10-15 from port jefferson.

I have seen them, they are cute, a friend of mine lived there a few yrs ago be4 she moved out of ny. I understnad your fears too and I think we al go through it. The one hting my firends with kids have tuaght me is that you cna never really afford them, but somehow you manage. good luck to you! if you move out there, we can be neighbors!!!

I know you said that you'd rather he not work at night but, Maybe he can get a part time job a couple of nights a week. Could he work at a pub? Or maybe just work as chef 2 nights a week to add to your savings? I know it stinks but, sometimes sacrafices have to be made.

I don't know if it helps to hear..But John & I live in a 1 bedroom apt w/ our son & he's going to be 3. I would love for Patrick to have his own room but, we manage. We are looking for a bigger place but we are content right now.

no real advice for you, but i understand your worries, and i wish tehre was something i could say to ease your worries!

I am having a baby in November and we live in a 1 bedroom apt. right now. Next year we will be looking for a house, but they are so expensive. I think everyone worries about these things, but somehow we always get through it.

Thanks for all the replies and well wishes.

I would reply to you all but then I'd just be complaining more and more and that's just irritating. LOL

So thank you for 'listening' and understanding.

Mary

The buying of a house/co-op at these outrageous prices is so frustrating!
If you can hold out until Nov. after the election, I have a big hunch that the prices will drop (although intrest rates will climb) and some thing will be more affordable.

NY State gives you 6 weeks paid maternity leave, no matter where you work. Try to save all your vacation time and sick time etc.. so, you might only be out of 'full pay' for 2 weeks.



Everything happens for a reason and it always works out.

Im so sorry you are stressed!! How long would it take DH to get his license as an electrician or a plumber? It could be worth the investment!!! I dont have any real advice..I just wanyed to give you some hugs and tell you I am here if ya needa friend!!!!

If it makes you feel any better, we live in a two bedroom apt in a two family house, its nice, but we are throwing ALOT of money out the window because we rent. But with me being in school, we cant even look at houses for atleast another year, and who knows what we'll be able to afford then. It IS very scary and I worry about it too.