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Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

Original post by expectingjoy

Okay, so friends of ours put their home on the market with an RE agent. They are moving to NH. They let us know.... One weeks goes by. On Saturday, DH and I were talking and were like 'maybe we should look at the house'. As we talked about it, the idea got better. We thought the asking was very fair, the house had nice land and was in good condition. Have always though this.

DH was like 'we have only looked at the house as friends of theirs'... We should go with a broker and see how we feel about it being ours... Well, I was uncomfortable walking around our friends house without their permission, even though the home was on the market. Instead of going through them and making them uncomfortable (and we knew time was of the essence as it was a good deal), we called their broker and asked her to show us the house. We let the realtor know we were friends of theirs and who we were. We liked it and made an appointment for tomorrow to see it again. We got back to the house and called them. Still weren't home. I left a message saying... I just wanted to let you know we looked at your house today.... and then, blah blah, blah... The realtor calls this morning and is like, 'I spoke with the Steve and they accepted an offer slightly overasking this morning. They are no longer showing the house (they knew we were coming). And they were uncomfortable selling to you...' The RE continues to say 'I tried to persuade them that bids fall through but they are insistant.' I totally understand that they made a business decision and respect it- they had to get their highest bid, but do you think they are mad at us or we did anything wrong? Maybe they feel like we should have told them BEFORE going into their house... I am too chicken to call... BUt can you see ANY wrongdoing on our part from their point of view? Would you be mad friends of yours walked around your home without your permission?


Thanks so much for reading this and polling!!!
jesslangen Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

Maybe they just didn't want to be held responsible if something should go wrong. And instead of making it professional and kept it personal, they didn't want their house to potentially ruin the friendship you have built. Not that it would have but they just wanted to be on the safe side?

Personally speaking, I wouldn't want to sell my house to a friend no matter how close they were to us.
babybug631 Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

If I was moving because I couldn't pay my mortgage and had to move to a less expensive area, I might be mad. But if I was just moving I wouldn't mind.

Besides, I don't like dealing with money and friends. Too weird.
nylibride Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

It's on the market, so of course you could see it, but I'm really unclear on why you wouldn't just ask them if they were ok with it first. I would be very weirded out knowing that my friends were in my house without me. I guess I'd be totally mystified as to why they wouldn't just call me to come over to my house. I guess it also depends on how close you all are. I think you're all better off. This could have caused a lot of problems that you may not expect in the friendship.

Just give them a call now! Let them know that you didn't mean to make things weird, wish them the best on the deal and make some plans to do something fun all together
lrs2005 Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!


Posted by expectingjoy

Thanks to all!!- I think we will give them a call tomorrow to 'clear the air'. I still feel a little bad today... I am sure I am overreacting... Again, Thanks for all of your opinions.


How did the 'clear the air' call go? Well, I hope.
expectingjoy Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

Thanks so much for thinking of me and the situation.!!! I really appreciate it!

So, DH made the call to 'Steve' today and I am going to hear more on what happened when he gets home. All DH could tell me from his office was that 'they weren't mad/upset at all'. My DH kissed his a&& a little and apologized profusely for if we had in any way overstepped our bounds. DH said first round of drinks on Friday night is on us!!! I think it is all cool! Thank G-d.... I REALLY liked these people! Did not feel like losing them as friends over this!
prncssrachel Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

I do not think you did anythign wrong, however, I would not sell my house to friends. You just never know what could happen, and I wouldn't want to ruin a friendship.

ssdbk Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

If you were serious about possibly buying, then it is okay. I would only be mad if I thought that my friends were poking around my house just to spy or to gossip.

In some ways, I understand them not wanting to show the house. As buyers, my DH and I had a deal fall through on another house before we got this one. We felt that we'd been burned and when we bid on this house, one of our conditions for meeting their price was that they stop showing the house immediately. Just playing devil's advocate here!
lrs2005 Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

Glad it worked out ok - have fun with them this weekend.

lishbone Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!

i totally agree...god for bid they sold it to you and you move in and something goes wrong..(and believe me it always does) the first thing you would do is get mad at them for not knowing about it or telling you something was going to break..this can break a friendship fast..so i think if they made the choice to not show it to you was helping your friendship out..

lishbone Posted:

Re: Would you be mad at us? Please let me know... Long!!!


Posted by expectingjoy

Thanks for your opinions... As much as I hate hearing the negative ones, I really appreciate the honesty... It saddens me because it was done with really the best of intentions. We were so excited about the house.... But I can see your point. Ugh, I hate when I am the one that does something wrong....

It is one of those things like 'Hindsight is 20/20'

you did NOTHING WRONG..it is so exciting to look at houses..im sure they know this..im sure they also talked about it and in my opinion came up with the best scenerio for both sides..there are plenty of houses..its best not to get involved with a perfectly good friendship..it can go south so fast!! i wish you luck..i would call them..im sure they arent mad at you..

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