Someone in FH's family responded today for my shower and first off she's RSVPing a week late and second she RSVP'd for herself and her daughter who is NOT invited. I dont want my mom to call her and say that because we already had an issue where someone in his family twisted what my mom said and I dont want FH's mom to call because she'll make us look like idiots (to be spiteful to us) so FH is going to have to call. My question is what should he say? How did you ladies handle people RSVPing for someone who isn't invited?
ETA: the daughter is 16, to clarify she isn't a kid and she isn't invited to the wedding either.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: 09er needs shower advice
well with me what happened is one person actually called my MOH and asked if she can bring her daughter. My MOH asked me and i said kids are fine for the shower so its ok. I was glad that she asked first. The day of my shower, a bunch of other ppl brought their kid or kids lol without asking but at that point it was the day of so nothing we can do and i really didnt mind that they were there, but i still think they should've asked and only bc the hall was told a certain amount, so food and everything was based on those calculations, if there is more its good they know ahead of time. Plus the kids did have to sit somewhere ya know and i know my MOH said she had to fix a problem with seats at first bc of this. They had obviously set up for the number they were told.
If it were me, i would just say its ok for her to bring her daughter but thats me and really doesnt mean im saying you should do this. Its your shower and you do what you want. A nice way for your fh to tell her is maybe say that others werent invited with a guest so he doesnt want there to be problems bc of this. Not sure exactly, its always a hard situation. Good luck
JKFris09
Posted:
Member since
Re: 09er needs shower advice
Posted by Espo22
well with me what happened is one person actually called my MOH and asked if she can bring her daughter. My MOH asked me and i said kids are fine for the shower so its ok. I was glad that she asked first. The day of my shower, a bunch of other ppl brought their kid or kids lol without asking but at that point it was the day of so nothing we can do and i really didnt mind that they were there, but i still think they should've asked and only bc the hall was told a certain amount, so food and everything was based on those calculations, if there is more its good they know ahead of time. Plus the kids did have to sit somewhere ya know and i know my MOH said she had to fix a problem with seats at first bc of this. They had obviously set up for the number they were told.
If it were me, i would just say its ok for her to bring her daughter but thats me and really doesnt mean im saying you should do this. Its your shower and you do what you want. A nice way for your fh to tell her is maybe say that others werent invited with a guest so he doesnt want there to be problems bc of this. Not sure exactly, its always a hard situation. Good luck
But the thing is her daughter is 16 and she is not invited to the wedding. She has a 23 yr old son who is not invited either. And plus if we say yes to her then everyone else will want to bring their kids and that would like literally another 15 kids ages 5-14 and we dont want them there. The only children invited are those of our 1st cousins.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: 09er needs shower advice
Posted by JKFris09
Posted by Espo22
well with me what happened is one person actually called my MOH and asked if she can bring her daughter. My MOH asked me and i said kids are fine for the shower so its ok. I was glad that she asked first. The day of my shower, a bunch of other ppl brought their kid or kids lol without asking but at that point it was the day of so nothing we can do and i really didnt mind that they were there, but i still think they should've asked and only bc the hall was told a certain amount, so food and everything was based on those calculations, if there is more its good they know ahead of time. Plus the kids did have to sit somewhere ya know and i know my MOH said she had to fix a problem with seats at first bc of this. They had obviously set up for the number they were told.
If it were me, i would just say its ok for her to bring her daughter but thats me and really doesnt mean im saying you should do this. Its your shower and you do what you want. A nice way for your fh to tell her is maybe say that others werent invited with a guest so he doesnt want there to be problems bc of this. Not sure exactly, its always a hard situation. Good luck
But the thing is her daughter is 16 and she is not invited to the wedding. She has a 23 yr old son who is not invited either. And plus if we say yes to her then everyone else will want to bring their kids and that would like literally another 15 kids ages 5-14 and we dont want them there. The only children invited are those of our 1st cousins.
So i would have your fh say exactly what you just said. That if she brings her kid then others will be mad that they didnt bring their kids bc they also weren't invited, at least this way she sees its a rule that applies to everyone and not just to her. Have him say that he is very sorry but he really doesnt want to cause problems by making an exception for her and hurting others. I hope she understands and if she is a reasonable person she should lol.
Also, im sure the 16 year old would rather do something else. Most 16 year olds dont care to go to a shower with their mother lol, so im sure she will be fine
