2 Weddings, 1 Day

I will be invited to two weddings on 9/1. My cousin is getting married out in PA and my good friend from college is getting married at the Swan Club.

In theory this should be a no brainer: I'm not terribly close to my cousin and, honestly, my friend has been more like family to me over the years. But I feel my guilty conscience creeping in. Another cousin thinks that unless I'm in my friends bridal party, I should choose to be with the family. But, like I said, my friend has been like a brother to me.

I will invite my cousin to my wedding, but it's more so out of obligation. I actually like the girl he's marrying more than him but that's a conversation for another day. His fiancée is really hoping I go to their wedding, but I kind of wish the groom - the one I'm actually related to - would reach out to me.

So what should I do? My gut and my heart say go to my friend's wedding, but the part of me that doesn't want to deal with drama says go to my cousins wedding.

I'd say go with your gut. We had two cousins not come to our wedding and honestly we had so much fun and we aren't super close to them (otherwise they prob would have made it happen) so we didn't notice too much.
I also like the idea of maybe saying you already told them yes so you have to go to the friend's. It sucks that his fiancee will be disappointed but I think she'll be ok in the end.

---

Posted by Lau1007

Did you get a save the date or know when your cousin's wedding was beforehand? You can always say you got your friend's invite first and already responded yes.

---

try to do this if you can. then you shouldn't feel guilty about missing your cousin's wedding. send a small gift and a very nice note to them and they will understand!

---

Posted by TJD

Id say go with your gut, and go to the friends wedding. a cousin who your not close with, prob would be glad your not there and save some money. go to the friends.plus its so much closer. hahaha

---

This!!! You shouldn't go to a wedding out of guilt and not enjoy yourself! Go to your friend's wedding and have fun!
One of my bridesmaids told me that her niece (my friend has all older sisters in their 40's) is getting married the same day as me but she still chose to go to my wedding....it's who you feel closer to!

---

Posted by RussianBride

---

Posted by TJD

Id say go with your gut, and go to the friends wedding. a cousin who your not close with, prob would be glad your not there and save some money. go to the friends.plus its so much closer. hahaha

---

This!!! You shouldn't go to a wedding out of guilt and not enjoy yourself! Go to your friend's wedding and have fun!
One of my bridesmaids told me that her niece (my friend has all older sisters in their 40's) is getting married the same day as me but she still chose to go to my wedding....it's who you feel closer to!

---

I definitely agree! Originally I thought I could just go with my gut and not feel guilty, but when my cousin's fiancee started telling me she was excited about coming to my wedding I started to feel a little bit guilty.

My cousin has technically been engaged longer while my friend got engaged a few months before I did. And when the engagements happened I told them 'Of course I'll go to your wedding' without knowing that they would be on the same date. Imagine my joy when I got both STDs...

And obviously I'm not in a position to incur the expense of a hotel, especially on Labor Day weekend. FH also doesn't want to be stuck in Labor Day weekend traffic on the Belt, so I think he's more than happy staying local.

I'm also afraid that if I don't go to this cousin's wedding, other family members might boycott my wedding. I know that sounds silly, but I've explained my situation to other cousins and I got the stank eye even though they all know I'm not close to this cousin and he's a bit of a buffoon. That being said, they may just have to get over it.

---

Posted by prettylillizzy

---

Posted by RussianBride

---

Posted by TJD

Id say go with your gut, and go to the friends wedding. a cousin who your not close with, prob would be glad your not there and save some money. go to the friends.plus its so much closer. hahaha

---

This!!! You shouldn't go to a wedding out of guilt and not enjoy yourself! Go to your friend's wedding and have fun!
One of my bridesmaids told me that her niece (my friend has all older sisters in their 40's) is getting married the same day as me but she still chose to go to my wedding....it's who you feel closer to!

---

I definitely agree! Originally I thought I could just go with my gut and not feel guilty, but when my cousin's fiancee started telling me she was excited about coming to my wedding I started to feel a little bit guilty.

My cousin has technically been engaged longer while my friend got engaged a few months before I did. And when the engagements happened I told them 'Of course I'll go to your wedding' without knowing that they would be on the same date. Imagine my joy when I got both STDs...

And obviously I'm not in a position to incur the expense of a hotel, especially on Labor Day weekend. FH also doesn't want to be stuck in Labor Day weekend traffic on the Belt, so I think he's more than happy staying local.

I'm also afraid that if I don't go to this cousin's wedding, other family members might boycott my wedding. I know that sounds silly, but I've explained my situation to other cousins and I got the stank eye even though they all know I'm not close to this cousin and he's a bit of a buffoon. That being said, they may just have to get over it.

---

You can't make everyone happy! If they boycott your wedding then that says something about them. It's not there decision. Some family members are closer then others and if you are not close to your cousin, you shouldn't be forced to go.