20 Mistakes Newlyweds Make!
Hey Chicas! Make Sure we dont make this mistakes! =)
Sorry it's long but Its worth it so we can not make this mistakes when we get married=)
Newlyweds are a lot like freshmen. They are still learning the ropes of marriage. They are human and make mistakes. But making yourself aware of common mistakes might help you avoid making them yourself. Here is a list of 20 mistakes newlyweds make -- and some tips on how to overcome them:
1. Failing to think beyond the wedding
Some couples get so wrapped up in the wedding festivities that they fail to comprehend what they’re getting themselves into. You’re married. The party was probably a lot of fun, but it was one day. Now, you have to live together, get along, and form your own family. Enjoy the wedding planning and the afterglow of your big day – from watching the video to reminiscing with friends – but keep the big picture in your head at all times.
2. Trying to change your spouse
Presumably, you married your spouse because you are in love with him or her. If that’s the case, then there’s no good reason for changing your spouse. Frankly, most adults don’t drastically change, so your best bet is to accept your spouse and love him or her for the ways he or she is unique and different and not in spite of those things. Trying to change your spouse will only hurt his or her feelings – and damage your marriage.
3. Getting off on the wrong foot with your in-laws
If the damage has already been done, do whatever you can to improve the relationship you have with your in-laws. Be the first to extend the olive branch because the only person who gets hurt when you fight with the in-laws is your spouse, who feels caught in the middle.
4. Letting your emotions win in an argument
Getting aggressive or yelling and screaming is not going to help you and your spouse resolve problems or differences of opinion. Rational, calm discussion will get your farther. You’re putting your marriage at risk if you can’t control yourself when you and your spouse argue, so do whatever it takes – from taking a break from the conversation to seeking professional help in the form of a therapist.
5. Avoiding important discussions
No one likes to talk about difficult subjects like how to handle money, what to do if you can’t have children, or how to prepare for the unthinkable such as death. Now that you’re married, however, you have no choice but to discuss these matters. Your marriage depends on these matters. Be an adult and discuss it all with your spouse. Seek counsel if the subject requires it, but don’t just ignore these issues.
6. Fighting over silly stuff
Every married person has argued with his or her spouse over something that seems inane to outsiders – from the notorious cap left off the toothpaste to underwear left on the doorknob. Save your arguments for more important subjects. Let these pet peeves remain as simple pet peeves. Honestly, if the worst thing your spouse does is leave his dirty socks on the floor, you should consider yourself lucky.
7. Being jealous
Your spouse has already chosen you for life. Being jealous is a waste of time and just offends your spouse, who will start to believe that you don’t trust him or her. If he or she has always been trustworthy, you should not even bother with jealousy. It is poison to a relationship.
8. Acting like you’re still single
Now is the time to grow up. Hanging out with your friends all night and going to clubs was all right when you were a single person with no one waiting for you at home. As a married person, there are behaviors that are no longer appropriate. You know what’s right and what’s wrong, so just do the right thing.
9. Letting pride get in the way of your relationship
A spouse who holds out for an apology after every argument, always has to win, or denies his or her spouse affection is doing nothing good for the marriage. He or she is letting pride get in the way of resolving problems and loving his or her spouse. You must allow yourself to get softer and find a way to take responsibility for your own actions.
10. Spending too little time together
You need to tend to your marriage as though it’s a flower. Without water, sunlight, and some attention, it will never grow. Therefore, you have to manage your schedule, so that you spend quality time with your spouse.
11. Rushing into having children
Some couples don’t give themselves enough time to be married to each other. If you can wait to have children, you should consider it because you’ll never have this time alone again. Once children arrive, they will have to be the focus of your attention. Your heart certainly has room for children and a spouse, but you should spoil one another while you can.
12. Going into debt
Starting off your marriage with bills you can’t afford is a terrible beginning. It’s an additional strain on your relationship that you can't afford. If you are already in debt, make a plan for getting rid of it. Stay on budget, get your finances in order, and you’ll probably fight less. If nothing else, you’ll sleep better at night.
13. Having unrealistic expectations about marriage
If you think marriage is always a walk in the park, you have another thing coming. There will be hard times. It takes a while to get the hang of living with this other person and making the relationship work. Don’t think that the problems you had before you walked down the aisle are simply going to disappear because you’re married. They won’t. Some problems never will go away. It’s how you deal with them that counts.
14. Letting resentment build
Never let things fester. If something is really bothering you, say so. If you find you’re the only one doing things around the house and that upsets you, don’t do it anymore. The worst thing you can do is allow resentment for your spouse to build inside you. It tears apart your love.
15. Being insensitive to your spouse’s feelings
We’re all different. We all react differently to various situations. In time, you will learn to anticipate some of your spouse’s reactions. Don’t make light of them. Don’t judge them. Simply accept them and do what you can to comfort your spouse in the way that he or she needs to be comforted.
16. Making decisions without consulting your spouse
There are two people in your relationship. When you were single you might have made decisions about where to go after work, what vacations to take, how to spend your money, without discussing it with anyone. Now, however, your decisions have an impact on your spouse, too. He or she has a right to have input in these decisions.
17. Being intolerant of your spouse’s quirks or differences
When you marry someone, you are accepting him or her warts and all. It’s not fair – nor is it worth the time and energy – to get angry about things like your spouse’s slight lisp or his Republican leanings.
18. Not giving each other enough space
Everyone needs time for themselves. Find a quiet place or do something you love all on your own. Give your spouse the chance to do the same.
19. Taking your partner for granted
Remembering all the reasons you love your spouse and appreciating the little things he or she does for you and your family takes some work. But it’s an integral part of building a strong marriage. Once you start to forget or simply expect your spouse to do certain things for you, he or she may feel unappreciated and you could start having problems.
20. Abandoning your sex life
Marriage does not have to mean the end to good sex. It is part of your job as married people to maintain your sexual health, keep things interesting, and make sure you and your spouse are satisfied. When problems do arise, you should address them and do what you can to improve the situation.
Sorry it's long but Its worth it so we can not make this mistakes when we get married=)
Newlyweds are a lot like freshmen. They are still learning the ropes of marriage. They are human and make mistakes. But making yourself aware of common mistakes might help you avoid making them yourself. Here is a list of 20 mistakes newlyweds make -- and some tips on how to overcome them:
1. Failing to think beyond the wedding
Some couples get so wrapped up in the wedding festivities that they fail to comprehend what they’re getting themselves into. You’re married. The party was probably a lot of fun, but it was one day. Now, you have to live together, get along, and form your own family. Enjoy the wedding planning and the afterglow of your big day – from watching the video to reminiscing with friends – but keep the big picture in your head at all times.
2. Trying to change your spouse
Presumably, you married your spouse because you are in love with him or her. If that’s the case, then there’s no good reason for changing your spouse. Frankly, most adults don’t drastically change, so your best bet is to accept your spouse and love him or her for the ways he or she is unique and different and not in spite of those things. Trying to change your spouse will only hurt his or her feelings – and damage your marriage.
3. Getting off on the wrong foot with your in-laws
If the damage has already been done, do whatever you can to improve the relationship you have with your in-laws. Be the first to extend the olive branch because the only person who gets hurt when you fight with the in-laws is your spouse, who feels caught in the middle.
4. Letting your emotions win in an argument
Getting aggressive or yelling and screaming is not going to help you and your spouse resolve problems or differences of opinion. Rational, calm discussion will get your farther. You’re putting your marriage at risk if you can’t control yourself when you and your spouse argue, so do whatever it takes – from taking a break from the conversation to seeking professional help in the form of a therapist.
5. Avoiding important discussions
No one likes to talk about difficult subjects like how to handle money, what to do if you can’t have children, or how to prepare for the unthinkable such as death. Now that you’re married, however, you have no choice but to discuss these matters. Your marriage depends on these matters. Be an adult and discuss it all with your spouse. Seek counsel if the subject requires it, but don’t just ignore these issues.
6. Fighting over silly stuff
Every married person has argued with his or her spouse over something that seems inane to outsiders – from the notorious cap left off the toothpaste to underwear left on the doorknob. Save your arguments for more important subjects. Let these pet peeves remain as simple pet peeves. Honestly, if the worst thing your spouse does is leave his dirty socks on the floor, you should consider yourself lucky.
7. Being jealous
Your spouse has already chosen you for life. Being jealous is a waste of time and just offends your spouse, who will start to believe that you don’t trust him or her. If he or she has always been trustworthy, you should not even bother with jealousy. It is poison to a relationship.
8. Acting like you’re still single
Now is the time to grow up. Hanging out with your friends all night and going to clubs was all right when you were a single person with no one waiting for you at home. As a married person, there are behaviors that are no longer appropriate. You know what’s right and what’s wrong, so just do the right thing.
9. Letting pride get in the way of your relationship
A spouse who holds out for an apology after every argument, always has to win, or denies his or her spouse affection is doing nothing good for the marriage. He or she is letting pride get in the way of resolving problems and loving his or her spouse. You must allow yourself to get softer and find a way to take responsibility for your own actions.
10. Spending too little time together
You need to tend to your marriage as though it’s a flower. Without water, sunlight, and some attention, it will never grow. Therefore, you have to manage your schedule, so that you spend quality time with your spouse.
11. Rushing into having children
Some couples don’t give themselves enough time to be married to each other. If you can wait to have children, you should consider it because you’ll never have this time alone again. Once children arrive, they will have to be the focus of your attention. Your heart certainly has room for children and a spouse, but you should spoil one another while you can.
12. Going into debt
Starting off your marriage with bills you can’t afford is a terrible beginning. It’s an additional strain on your relationship that you can't afford. If you are already in debt, make a plan for getting rid of it. Stay on budget, get your finances in order, and you’ll probably fight less. If nothing else, you’ll sleep better at night.
13. Having unrealistic expectations about marriage
If you think marriage is always a walk in the park, you have another thing coming. There will be hard times. It takes a while to get the hang of living with this other person and making the relationship work. Don’t think that the problems you had before you walked down the aisle are simply going to disappear because you’re married. They won’t. Some problems never will go away. It’s how you deal with them that counts.
14. Letting resentment build
Never let things fester. If something is really bothering you, say so. If you find you’re the only one doing things around the house and that upsets you, don’t do it anymore. The worst thing you can do is allow resentment for your spouse to build inside you. It tears apart your love.
15. Being insensitive to your spouse’s feelings
We’re all different. We all react differently to various situations. In time, you will learn to anticipate some of your spouse’s reactions. Don’t make light of them. Don’t judge them. Simply accept them and do what you can to comfort your spouse in the way that he or she needs to be comforted.
16. Making decisions without consulting your spouse
There are two people in your relationship. When you were single you might have made decisions about where to go after work, what vacations to take, how to spend your money, without discussing it with anyone. Now, however, your decisions have an impact on your spouse, too. He or she has a right to have input in these decisions.
17. Being intolerant of your spouse’s quirks or differences
When you marry someone, you are accepting him or her warts and all. It’s not fair – nor is it worth the time and energy – to get angry about things like your spouse’s slight lisp or his Republican leanings.
18. Not giving each other enough space
Everyone needs time for themselves. Find a quiet place or do something you love all on your own. Give your spouse the chance to do the same.
19. Taking your partner for granted
Remembering all the reasons you love your spouse and appreciating the little things he or she does for you and your family takes some work. But it’s an integral part of building a strong marriage. Once you start to forget or simply expect your spouse to do certain things for you, he or she may feel unappreciated and you could start having problems.
20. Abandoning your sex life
Marriage does not have to mean the end to good sex. It is part of your job as married people to maintain your sexual health, keep things interesting, and make sure you and your spouse are satisfied. When problems do arise, you should address them and do what you can to improve the situation.
