2nd meeting with the priest!

im sooo scared! the first meeting was horrible!!!! i have a feeling that the Sex ? is going to come up.. am i honest and say yes or do i say no??? HELP!!!! is it bad that i need to take an anxiety pill before i go??

OMG, that's gonna be so awkward! I hope everything works out! I really want to know how it went when you get back!

I think I'm glad I'm not getting married in a church because I'd be nervous too.

I would think to be honest but I don't know what the priest would say?

thanks girls the meeting is on the 22nd and im getting sick just thiking about it!... i was hysterical crying through the ENTIRE first meeting.. to the pointi was waiting for the priest to ask if i was getting married for the right reasons

he asked what first attracted us to one another? he wanted to know why i wasnt getting married cathloic since thats my religion... he wanted to know if we are going to raise our children in this church, he wanted to know when the last time i went to church was...

little does he know that im totally uncomfortable in a church i havent been there since i was in 6th grade. i feel like a HUGE hipocrite (sp?) by getting married in the church since i dont believe in 90% of what is talked about. im doing it to make my FH and FIL's and my parents happy... i wish i was comfortable in church i feel like thers is church goer/understanders club and im on the outside... it was just really uncomfrotable for me.. plus everyime he asked a ? FH would just stare at me waiting for me to answer and never said a word so he made it 10x's worse and didnt even know he was doing it!

see in the episcipal (im sorry i cant spell) chruch theres no pre-cana.. its one on one with you FH and priest 4 sessions before the wedding.. which i totally get and understand so he gets to know us.. but im a total mess everytime we go.. i havent even been to a mass (if thats what its even called? ) since we went the last time

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

he asked what first attracted us to one another? he wanted to know why i wasnt getting married cathloic since thats my religion... he wanted to know if we are going to raise our children in this church, he wanted to know when the last time i went to church was...

little does he know that im totally uncomfortable in a church i havent been there since i was in 6th grade. i feel like a HUGE hipocrite (sp?) by getting married in the church since i dont believe in 90% of what is talked about. im doing it to make my FH and FIL's and my parents happy... i wish i was comfortable in church i feel like thers is church goer/understanders club and im on the outside... it was just really uncomfrotable for me.. plus everyime he asked a ? FH would just stare at me waiting for me to answer and never said a word so he made it 10x's worse and didnt even know he was doing it!

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that's terrible! this is exactly why i boycotted and am getting married at the RH... if it's not recognized by the RC church I don't even care anymore. I feel the same as you but neither me or FH cared... so what our parents wanted didn't really come into play - they are happy I'm doing a catholic ceremony with a priest, and don't seem to mind that it's not in a church and probably won't be recognized (though the priest says it will, but I def don't want to get into all that).

good luck - DON'T let him intimidate you and I think you should just lie and answer whatever you think he wants to hear b/c it will be less stressful than facing his judgement if you don't; if you're not a churchgoer you don't have to worry once the wedding is over!

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Posted by marriagephob08

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

he asked what first attracted us to one another? he wanted to know why i wasnt getting married cathloic since thats my religion... he wanted to know if we are going to raise our children in this church, he wanted to know when the last time i went to church was...

little does he know that im totally uncomfortable in a church i havent been there since i was in 6th grade. i feel like a HUGE hipocrite (sp?) by getting married in the church since i dont believe in 90% of what is talked about. im doing it to make my FH and FIL's and my parents happy... i wish i was comfortable in church i feel like thers is church goer/understanders club and im on the outside... it was just really uncomfrotable for me.. plus everyime he asked a ? FH would just stare at me waiting for me to answer and never said a word so he made it 10x's worse and didnt even know he was doing it!

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that's terrible! this is exactly why i boycotted and am getting married at the RH... if it's not recognized by the RC church I don't even care anymore. I feel the same as you but neither me or FH cared... so what our parents wanted didn't really come into play - they are happy I'm doing a catholic ceremony with a priest, and don't seem to mind that it's not in a church and probably won't be recognized (though the priest says it will, but I def don't want to get into all that).

good luck - DON'T let him intimidate you and I think you should just lie and answer whatever you think he wants to hear b/c it will be less stressful than facing his judgement if you don't; if you're not a churchgoer you don't have to worry once the wedding is over!

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thanks so much... see we were going to do the RH but iknew how much it ment to FH and said ill give in.. since i love the idea of the church just not the 20 ?'s and being judged thing!

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

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Posted by marriagephob08

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

he asked what first attracted us to one another? he wanted to know why i wasnt getting married cathloic since thats my religion... he wanted to know if we are going to raise our children in this church, he wanted to know when the last time i went to church was...

little does he know that im totally uncomfortable in a church i havent been there since i was in 6th grade. i feel like a HUGE hipocrite (sp?) by getting married in the church since i dont believe in 90% of what is talked about. im doing it to make my FH and FIL's and my parents happy... i wish i was comfortable in church i feel like thers is church goer/understanders club and im on the outside... it was just really uncomfrotable for me.. plus everyime he asked a ? FH would just stare at me waiting for me to answer and never said a word so he made it 10x's worse and didnt even know he was doing it!

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that's terrible! this is exactly why i boycotted and am getting married at the RH... if it's not recognized by the RC church I don't even care anymore. I feel the same as you but neither me or FH cared... so what our parents wanted didn't really come into play - they are happy I'm doing a catholic ceremony with a priest, and don't seem to mind that it's not in a church and probably won't be recognized (though the priest says it will, but I def don't want to get into all that).

good luck - DON'T let him intimidate you and I think you should just lie and answer whatever you think he wants to hear b/c it will be less stressful than facing his judgement if you don't; if you're not a churchgoer you don't have to worry once the wedding is over!

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thanks so much... see we were going to do the RH but iknew how much it ment to FH and said ill give in.. since i love the idea of the church just not the 20 ?'s and being judged thing!

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well if it's important to either one of you than it makes sense that you're doing it... neither of us cared.

i wish he didnt care.. but he was an alter boy for years when he was little and his mom is extreamly active still with the church.. but i have never been there with other people!

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

he asked what first attracted us to one another? he wanted to know why i wasnt getting married cathloic since thats my religion... he wanted to know if we are going to raise our children in this church, he wanted to know when the last time i went to church was...

little does he know that im totally uncomfortable in a church i havent been there since i was in 6th grade. i feel like a HUGE hipocrite (sp?) by getting married in the church since i dont believe in 90% of what is talked about. im doing it to make my FH and FIL's and my parents happy... i wish i was comfortable in church i feel like thers is church goer/understanders club and im on the outside... it was just really uncomfrotable for me.. plus everyime he asked a ? FH would just stare at me waiting for me to answer and never said a word so he made it 10x's worse and didnt even know he was doing it!

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I hear ya i am not a church person at all...i am agnostic, so is FH. His parents a very religious catholics, my family is lutheran. I always pictureed walking down a church aisle. My parents dont care either way but we r mainly doing it at a church to save arguments with his parents lol. everyone has to get married somewhere. LOL we are getting married at a lutheran church. its just sooo much easier!
I hope your meeting goes well!! keep us posted

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

im sooo scared! the first meeting was horrible!!!! i have a feeling that the Sex ? is going to come up.. am i honest and say yes or do i say no??? HELP!!!! is it bad that i need to take an anxiety pill before i go??

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wow...we have met with our priest 3 different times and never once has he brought anything like that up...has anyone told you this will happen or are you just thinking he might? I hope not b/c that is very uncomfortable...please let us know and good luck

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Posted by marriagephob08

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

he asked what first attracted us to one another? he wanted to know why i wasnt getting married cathloic since thats my religion... he wanted to know if we are going to raise our children in this church, he wanted to know when the last time i went to church was...

little does he know that im totally uncomfortable in a church i havent been there since i was in 6th grade. i feel like a HUGE hipocrite (sp?) by getting married in the church since i dont believe in 90% of what is talked about. im doing it to make my FH and FIL's and my parents happy... i wish i was comfortable in church i feel like thers is church goer/understanders club and im on the outside... it was just really uncomfrotable for me.. plus everyime he asked a ? FH would just stare at me waiting for me to answer and never said a word so he made it 10x's worse and didnt even know he was doing it!

---

that's terrible! this is exactly why i boycotted and am getting married at the RH... if it's not recognized by the RC church I don't even care anymore. I feel the same as you but neither me or FH cared... so what our parents wanted didn't really come into play - they are happy I'm doing a catholic ceremony with a priest, and don't seem to mind that it's not in a church and probably won't be recognized (though the priest says it will, but I def don't want to get into all that).

good luck - DON'T let him intimidate you and I think you should just lie and answer whatever you think he wants to hear b/c it will be less stressful than facing his judgement if you don't; if you're not a churchgoer you don't have to worry once the wedding is over!

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It's not about intimidation...the Church just wants to make sure that you are getting married for the right reasons. They just don't want you to get into something that you may not take seriously. They don't believe in divorce so they are actually asking these questions in the hopes of protecting you from making rash decisions in jumping into marriage. It's alot to go through but I appreciate it. I think it's wonderful that they try to make couples experience and explore their spirituality. Don't be afraid of the sex question...be honest!! Even if he frowns upon it he is not gonna stop u from getting married because of it. worst case scenario he will give you his opinion on it. but they will actually encourage intimacy to ensure you will procreate (after marriage of course) so the sex thing may come up ...but not necessarily in the way that you think.

when i went my priest asked me what it was that attracted me to joe and him to me...what his favorite food was, cologne and same for me. He asked if we plan to have children and spoke about how it is important to keep the passion alive in a marriage. he asked if we would raise our children in the church and if we believed in divorce.

think of it as premarital counceling or therapy...it's just another way you can get to know your partner on another level.

anyway I hope this helped . let me know how ur second meeting goes!