A friend of mine, who is not quite 30 yet (she'll be 28 in a couple of months) is still a virgin by choice. She's waiting for marriage. While I admire her ability to stick to her morals & beliefs and her will power, I worry about her too.
As she gets older, wouldn't you think her chances of finding men willing to follow through with longer term relationships is going to decline drastically? She was in a serious relationship for 5 years (he was also a virgin) but that ended badly about 2 years ago. Since then, she hasn't been serious with anyone because basically, as soon as they realize that she is serious about remaining a virgin till marriage, they find an excuse to hit the road.
She handles it great of course. 'Then that's not the guy I want, if he's not willing to wait,' is what she would say. BUT.... WHAT KIND OF GUY is the guy that WILL wait??
I don't want her to end up with some really pig-headed sexist guy who believes that he deserves to only marry a virgin after sleeping with half the state of NY. But it looks like that's what she's headed for.
Just kind of wanted to open this topic up for discussion. What would an LIW man think of almost 30 yr old virgin? Are there GOOD men still out there that wait for marriage?? I think she should marry a man that's virgin also! Does anyone think this mentality (waiting for marriage) is far too antiquated for today??
don424
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
i believe in today's day and age, staying a virgin until marriage is an extremely rare breed
i wish her luck, it's gonna be a rough rough road
IrishTracy
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
I worked with a 'born again' virgin. She decided at one point that she no longer wanted to have sex till she is married. Well, she found a man to not only wait they got married. I do believe it can happen.
I admire her for her beliefs. Maybe she should look for a man in her place of worship. I'm sure they're are some men out there that are waiting as well.
KerrC
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
If she feels strongly about her convictions then, she should stick to them. I am sure that she will find a man that feels the same way she does. She shouldn't compromise her beliefs in fear of never marrying.
Although waiting for marriage was too antiquated for me, it may not be for her. She should be proud of herself.
MuchInLuvMichi
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
wow... on one part i think it is admirable on another part i dont know any man...even really good guys who still want that 'so called pressure and burden' btw did u tell her sex is kinda over-rated anyway? lol
don424
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
and there's always someone out there for anyone
xjulietx
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
I think she will be able to find someone, though I am not sure if LI or NYC are the places.
I am sure that there are guys across the USA who think the same way. In a lot of cases, the guys are somewhat religious. I have known a few guys who have waited. My college roommate and her husband were each other's firsts and although they broke down and did it before their wedding (they were engaged) he was 28. There is nothing wrong with him (smart, funny, attractive). He just wanted to wait.
I think your friend will find someone, but she may need to re-evaluate why she is waiting.
I was waiting for marriage and didn't know why, I just was. Then I met DH and he was willing to wait for me, but I got curious. I was the one who wanted it and he was the one who made me think about it for a while and wait. Eventually we did it and I am glad. After holding out for so long, I realized that I didn't understand what I was waiting for.
I think she will find someone.
t
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
I admire her. There are not many virgins out there and I am sure she will find a man who honors her beliefs as well.
don424
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
yeah, she's gonna have to look outside of NY
Jax430
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
I agree with those who said she's going to have to expand her search outside of NY. DH and I waited until marriage, but we're younger (I'm 25 and he's 26). I have other friends who waited, but they are more religious. There are people out there, but they are few and far between. However, I truly feel that the right person for her will be one who either shares the same beliefs or loves her enough to respect hers. She shouldn't settle for less.
CaCRmr
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
She'll find someone that will honor her request. If not, he's not worth it.
blushingbridetobe
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
Isn't there a VIRGINS support group she could meet someone at??
Just kidding. In all honesty if this is her belief she should stick to it. I am sure she will meet someone, if not she can always change her standards.
steph4777
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
My MOH married a guy who was a virgin. He was 27 when they got married. They did everything else except for actual intercourse. He wanted to wait until they were married. Although she wasn't a virgin, she was only with one other guy back when she was in high school.
It's definitely a personal choice and I'm sure the right person will come along who will respect her choice.
cocoa
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
when i was younger, i mean, 14, i thought i wanted to wait, but then i realized i might be 35 when the right man came along, and i thought, hell no, i' m just going to wait for a guy who wouldn't leave me in the am or treat me like crap afterwards...that was one thing, guys i fooled around with in those teen years who just ignored me after...not my thing. while i respect her for waiting, i think the time will come when she will ask herself 'is that all there is?' the good guy will wait but he won't wait forever. i wish her luck but in this day and age, unless you have been with someone with those same convictions, finding someone like that is few and far between.
expectingjoy
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
I think it is great that she's waiting, but in this day and age people 50% of people get divorced. It doesn't make sense to 'wait' fro your prince charming when even a ring doesn't mean he was supposed to be your princce charming. It could be the second time around and the failure of that after waiting all those years would be too much pressure for anyone to take.
Moehick
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
Hey, your friend may be in luck....there is a 29 year old bachelor on the show the Bachelorette and he is a virgin...and cute too. So it goes to show you that they are out there!
eogara
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
Posted by Moehick
Hey, your friend may be in luck....there is a 29 year old bachelor on the show the Bachelorette and he is a virgin...and cute too. So it goes to show you that they are out there!
I was just coming on this thread to post that! She should contact him if it doesn't go well with him and Jen!
lolita4life
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
personally, i dont see what is so super great about waiting??????
JimmysBride
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
Posted by Moehick
Hey, your friend may be in luck....there is a 29 year old bachelor on the show the Bachelorette and he is a virgin...and cute too. So it goes to show you that they are out there!
I heard about that!! That's great news -- there is definitely hope for her...though I wonder what state he was from....
Imagin916
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Re: 30-year-old Virgins...
She will have to meet someone who has the same beliefs as her, which is not too common here as you all know. Try Oregon or NC, they seem to have plenty of people there who share those same values!
