7th Heaven: Camp and Caterwaulin' Camden Style

You owe me. All of you owe me. Big time. We're talking boxes of money, various organs, first-born children!

Mr Boots didn't go to class tonight so he had to bear witness to my pain. 3 minutes into the show, he turned to me and said 'I'm going to glare disapprovingly at you until this is over.' At one point he asked me to return my engagement ring.

Onto the recap....

1. Did SamVid really say 'All the sexes from Maine to Texas'? I wasn't sure because I was dry heaving.

2. In 25 years of marriage RevCam has yet to master laundry? W.T.F. Now we see where SamVid get their 'intelligence' from.

3. The Hag: Valentine's Day is not a national holiday. Banks are not closed, mail is delivered. The world does not revolve around your orange-lip-gloss-sporting @ss. Although that was a good shot at Cyborg when you called him on having piles of money! Hee! But aren't you breast-feeding? Shouldn't there be a baby attached to your shoulder?

4. Cyborg: Please don't sing, please don't sing, please don't sing! Oh great, now I have to jam a fork in my ears to erase the awful memory of that noise you call singing! And that cringe-inducing soft-shoe he did with his uniform... ewwwwww!

5. RevCam..shut up!

6. Annie, I have a question for you. Does menopause make every middle-aged woman into a shrill, poorly-socialized, harpie intent on destroying any happy relationship between her son and a woman he isn't somehow related to? Oh, that's exclusive to you? Sorry. Kudos on the creepy bible-thumping book number... oh and for calling your son a slut!

7. Ruthie is sporting those unholy boots again. And why is her singing voice that of a boozy, 40-year-old lounge singer? You know last week she showed a glimmer of normality, but this week she's taking a page out of Lucy's Book O' Crazy by placing unreasonable and imaginary demands on vaguely effeminate and wooden guys. Good for you.

8. Simon, I guess we know your type...skanky blondes suffering from a serious case of the fuglies.

9. Martin... oh forget it. He's never coming out of the closet. But I was disappointed with Hoe-y's stalker-esque tactics and a marked lack of Mac-lovin'!!

10. Someone please stop feeding SamVid lead-based paint chips!!

11. Whatever, this whole season is paving the way for season 10. Ruthie&Martin: The Edge of Appalachia.

I can't even begin to critique the songs, but Vincent (aka GreatLash Mascara) was shockingly not bad. RevCam was wussy at best. Annie....ew. And Cyborg....just make it stop! Make. It. Stop.

Honey, you did not disappoint!!! THANK YOU!!!


I will be sending a box of money priority mail!!

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8. Simon, I guess we know your type...skanky blondes suffering from a serious case of the fuglies.

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WORD!!!!!!!!


YOU ROCK!!!!

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

Thank you Wendy... and seriously, since when is it slutty for an 18-year-old to have 3 girlfriends in 3 years? And Simon lost any street cred he may have had by jumping the 'your my girlfriend' gun after making out with some brick-faced chick for one night.

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Well, he did almost (or tricked into believing) impregnate all of them though, right? I mean, that's a little slutty, no?

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Posted by wc0143

My bad ... I thought he was out almost knockin' up all the blonde fuglies of Glennoak.

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OMG! I love this!!!!!!!!!!! For me, the worst part was Lucy whining that her husband was actually going TO WORK on Valentines Day!

You never dissapoint!! Thank you!

I am seriously going to PIMP!!!!

I loved the greatash /baseball team number! seriously, not enoguh Mac though.

Are those the same ugly Ruthie boots? Ot hought she had a stacsh of diffiernted offenders.

I think only 1 half of SamVid gets the paint chips.
It was awful to make them sing. They can barely speak.

Cyborg--ew. It was like he was speaking, only more drawn out.

And I like Lucy's orange lip gloss!

And why are all the whores blond?
Sara wasn't blond, I guess that what made her the marrying type!

Heather....


And look, I knew this wouldn't be 'Once More With Feeling'. I knew a musical 7th Heaven couldn't even compete with a musical Buffy, but there were so many things wrong with last night's epi.

In the Buffyverse - There was a reason for the singing. And it wasn't luuuuuurve. It was a demon who played a major role in developing the story arc for that season.

In the Camverse - No reason, just crappy sub-standard warbling.

In the Buffyverse - songs and dance routines actually advanced the plot (Buffy's revalation that she was in Heaven, Anya/Xanders cold feet etc)

In the Camverse - only served to make characters look foolish, reiterate tired plot lines and allude to their 'religion'.

In the Buffyverse - the good singers were showcased (Tara, Spike and Giles), the decent singers and dancers were given campy and fun routines or masked weak voices by setting them to rock songs (Xander, Anya and Buffy) and the bad singers were acknowledged but only briefly (Willow)

In the Camverse - the few characters who could sing, did not. Instead the show centered around characters who couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, stiff dance routines were center stage and they more or less confirmed everyone;s suspicion that SamVid are mouth-breathers.

Also, yet again, 7th Heaven has its finger on the pulse of today's youth by using show tunes from the 40s and 50s.

you go girl, we definitely owe you big time.

I wanted to let everyone know that this is my last recap for about a week and a half (that includes LOST).

Sorry girls! If anyone wants to sub for me just FM me!

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

I wanted to let everyone know that this is my last recap for about a week and a half (that includes LOST).

Sorry girls! If anyone wants to sub for me just FM me!

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What's that all about???

I need to know what these boots that Ruthie has been wearing look like ...

I love the buffy/camden juxtaposition.
Thank you for bring up memories of a singing Giles. . .

and Spike. singing or not

anyway, I think the 7th powers that be think Rev Cam is the best singer. Did you see the Elvis episode? He did get the most singing time, I think.

Who do you think can sing, but didn't? Matt? He sounds like he'd have a god singing voice, but I guess he was finished studyig gthe Glen Oak birthing method.

ETA- that wasn't really Ruthie singing was it?

Why no recaps? TV ban?

No, no ban... but Mr Boots kept threatening to call DirecTV and cancel it!

I just got stuff to do after work for the next 10 days