A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

Sandradv121 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:19 AM

A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

Hence the fact i need Stress relief!

Due to the fact that our budget is steadily increasing, FH and I spoke and agreed on having to do an A and B list for the wedding. Our list came out to almost 300 people to invite, and when you break down the cost per plate, extra cp for the extra tables and extra cost for all the little things, its adding up.
And we simply want to put that extra money into a house.
We originally told both sets of parents to invite up to 100 (not exactly 100, but up to) and Fh and I will be inviting our 64 guest. Both sets of parents decided to go over the list (1st FMIL, which was resolved and now my mom) and we realized that it wasn't fair to us that this was occuring.
So we told them to please separate the list,

90 for A
Remainder for B

Not a hard concept right? I mean I'm sorry but if I have to keep hearing that we need to send them an invite but they aren't coming I'm going to flip. B/c our parents are not psychic and can not for see the future.

FMIL said no problem and cut her list.(shocker)
My mom turned into a raving lunatic and flipped!!! It took 5 people, my self included, to explain to her that these people aren't cut, its just that the list are separated for priority purposes.

I hope this way works out. I mean at the end of the drama, we put all the family and close friends on plan a and put the friends on a plan b. But the way my mom carried on, oy I could just imagine her on bridezillas I swear.

All Fh and I want to do is cut cost. Everyone understands, but her. And this is stinks b/c it makes us feel awful!

Do you think a Plan a and Plan b list is good? Its the way I think we can manage to pull this together without putting ourselves in a pickle.

20mrsc10 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:20 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

i think plan a and b is fine-are your parents paying? if not id tell them to shut up

sorry that was rude

Sandradv121 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:22 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

Posted by 20mrsc10

i think plan a and b is fine-are your parents paying? if not id tell them to shut up

sorry that was rude

My dad contributed. FH and I paying the majority.

You're not being rude, you made me laugh lol!

FutureMrsSoltan Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:24 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

i have the same thing, an A list and a B list, but if they are on the B list arent they cut unless people from your A list say no? im confused

Sandradv121 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:27 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

yes. But being that most of plan a is oot (like Italy) than the priority guest on plan b will be sent an invite. The people I don't know will be towards the end.

pipermaru Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:31 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

im totally in the same position and doing an a and b list... plus we're in the penthouse at SC so we're capped at 250 no matter what!

Sandradv121 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:33 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

We have the grand ballroom and I totally regret telling our parents that it holds up to 500. Does not mean we are inviting that many! We had to guareentee 200 people to the SC. I figured if we get 210 its managable...anymore than that and I will have to sell my body to science in order to pay for it!

FutureMrsSoltan Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:36 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

Posted by Sandradv121

yes. But being that most of plan a is oot (like Italy) than the priority guest on plan b will be sent an invite. The people I don't know will be towards the end.

oh ok gotchaa

JAAMS Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:39 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

I hear ya, I think you're making a smart move!

We're kinda hoping to be UNDER our minimum so that we get extra goodies thrown in, or else we would also be doing an A & B list

JayBee216 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:49 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

DEF A & B list is a good idea...you never know who will say no and you want the backups!

Your mom should not freak out unless she will pay for the extra guests!!!

Future Mrs P Posted: Dec 03, 2009 09:54 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

We are having an A and B list for my FIL side of the family. My FMIL is the one giving me major problems because unlike youre situation these people will prob be cut. Shes not contributing anything financially but keeps complaining that we capped her at 80. She wanted over 120 which was insane. Since a lot of people from your A list will prob say no though you're in a much different situation and I don't see the big problem.

Trose Posted: Dec 03, 2009 11:46 AM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

I TOTALLY understand what you are going through.
I went through the exact same thing!

Just keep doing what you have to do and it will work out fine. Once I began to accept the fact that people would be upset no matter what I did things got a lot easy!

Good Luck!!

jcreilly Posted: Dec 03, 2009 12:05 PM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

I think it is a great Idea, FH and I have one!

ourwedding9510 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 12:21 PM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

I think your mom is my FMIL!!!!!!

Our guest list has been a NIGHTMARE!!! FSIL just got married and her new husband doesn't have much family so she gave her parents free rain on the guest list. We told both sets of parents that they each get 100 people when we first started. We gave the parents 100 and told them if it goes UNDER 80 that they can invite people off of a B list! FMIL didn't get this and keeps asking 'so when I go under 100 I can add more?' NO!!!!! when you go UNDER 80 you can add only to go up to 80 people! She doesn't get it! I keep hearing 'well this person isn't going to come' from FMIL and I want to scream when that happens. But get this, FMIL got a call from one of the 'they aren't going to come' people when they got our Save the Date and said 'we missed (FSIL) so we'll be at this one! Can't wait to see everyone!' Well there goes that huh?

ANYWAY, my dad told me that if he goes over his 80 people that he is allowed he will pay for all of that included (their plate, if another table is needed, favors, etc.), FMIL said she'll do the same (then again she says a lot of things that she doesn't follow through with).

ANYWAY, sorry I was just trying to explain that we're pretty much in the same boat and I'll tell you, that B list saved this wedding! Telling the parents that if they go UNDER 80 (because lets face it, all 100 people aren't going to say yes) then they can invite UP TO 80 off of a B list! I think it's a great idea with what you are doing (and I'm being completely BIAS here HAHA)

Good Luck!

ourwedding9510 Posted: Dec 03, 2009 12:24 PM

Re: A and B list drama... never a freakin dull moment I swear-sorry long vent

Posted by Sandradv121

We have the grand ballroom and I totally regret telling our parents that it holds up to 500. Does not mean we are inviting that many! We had to guareentee 200 people to the SC. I figured if we get 210 its managable...anymore than that and I will have to sell my body to science in order to pay for it!

I've been thinking about selling my body to whoever is the highest bidder to pay for this wedding HAHA