A & B List ... (Guest List)

I sent out my a list invitations very early and asked them to respond early, too. Once we got all of the responses in, we sent out b list. However, we timed it so that the b list invitations were still going out at least 6 weeks before the wedding. We only sent out about 20 more invitations on the b list.

Just remember, if you do something like this, you may have to have response cards printed up with different rsvp dates. I had an rsvp card for my a list (reply by June 19th) and the b list cards (July 17th).

We just sent our b list out this past week.

I think it is a great way to manage your numbers and gave me a huge piece of mind. We invited 217 people and only got 156 people attending. So we have room for a few more people. But, I was not comfortable sending out 240 invitations initially. So, I am glad we waited to see what the count looked like before we sent out more.

I had two different sets of reply cards printed up with 2 different RSVP dates, all well in advance of the wedding date so that no one should be able to tell that they are B-listed.

My A-list RSVP date is 8/16 (about 7 weeks prior to the wedding) and the B-list RSVP date is Sept 1. That gives me at least a two week cushion, in addition to the fact that I can start sending out B-listers as soon as I get 'No's' from the A-list.

My total guestlist is at 256 right now, but I only want 180 so I have to be very careful with my invites. My B-list basically consists of 'would-like to invites' such as co-workers, more distant relatives, and friends that I haven't seen in a long time, and of course, some A-list overflow that just had to be cut.

I didn't think about having two sets of RSVPs... hmm.. then again, I'm not having such a huge guest list. Our Max is 140. Knowing your info... I think I'm going to send it earlier than I wanted to.
Thanks!

I'm not having a B list. I rather the wedding be small. I rather the wedding consist of the immediate people we want there rather than the 'other' people on the B list. JMO

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Posted by CaCRmr

I'm not having a B list. I rather the wedding be small. I rather the wedding consist of the immediate people we want there rather than the 'other' people on the B list. JMO

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I agree, however, there are a lot of family members that should be invited, and that knocks out co-workers, and/or some friends that you wish you could, but can't invite. If it was up to me, I'd either cut out a lot of family members to have all my friends there, or invite waaaaay over my maximum.

i had an a/b list for the engagement party...

the A list is for have to's the B's is would likes... as the A's decline, or spots open for B's they are added

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Posted by chichila15

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Posted by CaCRmr

I'm not having a B list. I rather the wedding be small. I rather the wedding consist of the immediate people we want there rather than the 'other' people on the B list. JMO

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I agree, however, there are a lot of family members that should be invited, and that knocks out co-workers, and/or some friends that you wish you could, but can't invite. If it was up to me, I'd either cut out a lot of family members to have all my friends there, or invite waaaaay over my maximum.

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i agree...esp when your mom is psycho!

Hmmm ... but I am sure it would cost extra to have 2 RSVPs made. I have 'b' list, but I dont know...cant I just mail some invites out in early August and some in late august, but have the same rsvp date. i have some college friends that I havent really talked to lately but would still like to extend an invite too.

You should be careful to make sure none of your B list people know your A list people, otherwise they will know the invites went out and will probably figure out that they are B listers. No one wants to be a B lister and some people might get offended. So much to consider.....

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Posted by BCTM33

You should be careful to make sure none of your B list people know your A list people, otherwise they will know the invites went out and will probably figure out that they are B listers. No one wants to be a B lister and some people might get offended. So much to consider.....

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I am at the point where I dont care who gets offended anymore! But luckily, all my B listers live all over the country and dont communicate with one another.

I completely agree and I have a B list, but my mother is anti-B list. Every time the topic comes up she says 'Someone is going to find out and be very upset!' At this point I don't care - be happy you are invited - end of story....

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Posted by BCTM33

I completely agree and I have a B list, but my mother is anti-B list. Every time the topic comes up she says 'Someone is going to find out and be very upset!' At this point I don't care - be happy you are invited - end of story....

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i didnt even tell my mom

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Posted by MrsBrad

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Posted by BCTM33

I completely agree and I have a B list, but my mother is anti-B list. Every time the topic comes up she says 'Someone is going to find out and be very upset!' At this point I don't care - be happy you are invited - end of story....

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i didnt even tell my mom

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i had a b list i dont think anything is wrong with it although i wouldnt tell the person they were a b lister

We weren't overly concerned about the b list finding out they were on the b list. Most of them were work people and second cousins. We explained to a lot of people that we have big families and were really trying to keep the numbers down since we were paying for the wedding ourselves. Most people are very understanding and are not offended. In fact, many people were honored that they were invited given our constraints with the numbers.

In fact, I have people telling us that if we have room at the last minute to let them know - they would love to come and wouldn't mind a last minute invite (this is my fsil's husband's parents - they are dying to be invited!)