A bit disappointed (UPDATE)
Since Mom is not able to come to any of the last appointments with vendors, it has been up to FH, my sisters and myself to do those meetings together. I take pictures wherever we go and show them to Mom so she doesn't feel left out. She is paying for the wedding and I respect that she has a right to have input.
So yesterday sister #1 shows her the pictures that sister #2 and I took at the florist of the sample CP. Mom told me she thought they were beautiful after she saw them on the phone yesterday and in person today. When sister #2 spoke to Mom today to tell her how great things went at the appointment, she said they were 'nothing special' and would have picked something 'more exotic'. Well that was just another sucker punch to my gut. It really hurt. Its bad enough that we turned our lives upside down and inside out to take care of her and we can't do enough to keep her abreast of every aspect of the planning, but OUCH!
I spent the past hour crying. She told my sister that she thought I just accepted what was given to me and settled. I tell you I was there for almost 2 hours picking things out and tweaking the arrangement and I even changed some of the greens that were underneath that NOBODY would see because I thought they were ordinary.
I am upset on so many levels. 1) Mom wasn't honest with me. 2) My sister should have exercised a little discretion knowing how fragile I am lately. 3) Mom can't see how hard we are trying to do things in the way that she would have.
One more disappointment and I am gonna lose it.
UPDATE- YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!
MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING!
My sister called me back. We had some of the flowers from the sample CP made into an arrangement and sent to Mom as a really miniaturized version so she felt a part of things. The real centerpiece is massive and obviously innappropriate for a hospital room. Well the flowers had started to wilt slightly as they had been around a for a day or two before they were shipped. We knew that might happen. It seems as if mom thought the arrangement we had sent was the actual size of the centerpiece. I guess the drugs they give her in the hospital are more potent than we thought.
I feel like a jacka$$. I need to remind myself that my Mom is not the woman she used to be. She doesnt retain and process information the way she used to and it isnt going to get better. I never thought of myself as a caretaker but we, the four siblings, have all become caretakers.
So yesterday sister #1 shows her the pictures that sister #2 and I took at the florist of the sample CP. Mom told me she thought they were beautiful after she saw them on the phone yesterday and in person today. When sister #2 spoke to Mom today to tell her how great things went at the appointment, she said they were 'nothing special' and would have picked something 'more exotic'. Well that was just another sucker punch to my gut. It really hurt. Its bad enough that we turned our lives upside down and inside out to take care of her and we can't do enough to keep her abreast of every aspect of the planning, but OUCH!
I spent the past hour crying. She told my sister that she thought I just accepted what was given to me and settled. I tell you I was there for almost 2 hours picking things out and tweaking the arrangement and I even changed some of the greens that were underneath that NOBODY would see because I thought they were ordinary.
I am upset on so many levels. 1) Mom wasn't honest with me. 2) My sister should have exercised a little discretion knowing how fragile I am lately. 3) Mom can't see how hard we are trying to do things in the way that she would have.
One more disappointment and I am gonna lose it.
UPDATE- YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!
MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING!
My sister called me back. We had some of the flowers from the sample CP made into an arrangement and sent to Mom as a really miniaturized version so she felt a part of things. The real centerpiece is massive and obviously innappropriate for a hospital room. Well the flowers had started to wilt slightly as they had been around a for a day or two before they were shipped. We knew that might happen. It seems as if mom thought the arrangement we had sent was the actual size of the centerpiece. I guess the drugs they give her in the hospital are more potent than we thought.
I feel like a jacka$$. I need to remind myself that my Mom is not the woman she used to be. She doesnt retain and process information the way she used to and it isnt going to get better. I never thought of myself as a caretaker but we, the four siblings, have all become caretakers.
