a bit of BM drama... should I.....

Hi all...

so far I have 3 BMs (fh's sisters) and my MOH (best friend). He has 2 best men and 3 GMs, so he has one more. not a big deal.

one of his sisters is having major issues with the family.. i won't go into details but right now she isn't speaking to anyone. I'm not sure what will happen in the next few months... if she will decide to drop out or not. even if she does stand in I know I can expect NO help from her and very little, if any help financially to the other girls for shower or whatnot.

I'm not really upset about this because I think I kind of expected this from her, as did FH. So right now, we're pretty much like, 'whatever happens, happens.'

I have another friend from college who I am pretty good friends with and she has been really excited and offering to help even though she isn't a BM. she also lives near me so that could be helpful. it may also take some pressure off of the other girls to have one more person to help with planning and/or costs. and it would make it even (and if FSIL did decide for some reason to drop out, I would still be at 5 guys/4 girls, instead of 5 guys/3 girls, which may look a little silly.

I wasn't going to have her before... I always hear stories of people who have BMS and then don't speak to them for 10 years.. I didn't really want that so I only had really close people that I knew would be around a while.

So I'm going back and forth.... I am considering it. FH thinks it is a good idea.

I am going to wait a bit before asking her to really think it over. Sorry if that was long and confusing..... any input?

Tough situation... Since you've got a little bit of time, see how things go. If you guys are seeing that this is not going to work out and she hasn't dropped out, best bet would be to let her know that you're going to replace her, just to make everyone's life a little easier. We have a similar situation with FH's juvie brother :-P If he doesn't behave, he's outta there! Well, good luck - hope everything works out

well, I don't think I'd really 'replace' her.. I wouldn't force her out. if she wants to stand with us we would have no problem. This is kind of a bit of backup to try to remedy it if she did drop out.

But like I said, she has been helpful and very excited so it wouldn't be the only reason, she kind of 'earned her place' in my book.... I also don't want to wait TOO long otherwise she will probably figure out the situation and feel used.... which honestly I'm not really thinking

Everything will work out - I was never a believer in that, but over time it seems to always be the case Good luck with it all! And don't worry about lopsided BPs - I've never thought that it looked bad. It's all about being able to share the day with your beloved ones