Close friends of ours are getting married 2 weeks before us and I have no idea what to do giftwise.
Background: The 4 of us have been very good friends for the past 6 years, FH is in their bridal party and the groom is in ours. FH and the groom were roommates for 4 years during college/grad school. He and his fiance moved to Texas but are getting married out here (non-NY, where we currently live) so it's not OOT for us. However, our wedding in NY is OOT for them (and for us)
1. Should we give $$$ or a wrapped gift? FH seems to think we should give a gift and that seems to be the non-NY custom (they are not from NY), but they are going to be OOT for their own wedding so we would need to ship it to their house in Texas? I kind of think it would be nice to give $$$ but I could go either way.
2. How much do we give/spend? I don't want them to think we are nuts but they are close friends. I was thinking maybe $350? $400? Is that too much? Not enough? They are going to be spending $$$ to travel for our wedding (2 nights in hotel, 2 round-trip flights, etc).
Any thoughts?
Kerin2804
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Re: A little complicated, need some advice
It is a tradition in our family to give family & close friends gifts as opposed to $$. When my friend was recently married we bought her the crystal glasses from their registry she had not received at her shower- go for the gift. Have it shipped to their home and give a card at the wedding saying a gift has been sent to your home and provide a picture in the card if possible . Hope this helps. FYI: I was born and raised on LI as was my friend. They loved the gift and told us every time we use them we think of you !!
Mici n KC
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Re: A little complicated, need some advice
Why not get a gift to ship to their home in TX and also give them some cash?
jaep129
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Re: A little complicated, need some advice
I posted a message to a girl who asked about $ or gifts and got such back lash for saying no gifts only $. Sorry to say even though people might think its rude of me but $ only. I told my guest who asked what we wanted I said $ only. Gifts are for the shower. I would say $400 is fine thats usually what we do. I have never gone to a wedding I had to fly to so I can see how you might be tight on $ so even $300 might be fine.
bluegreen08
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Re: A little complicated, need some advice
Posted by jaep129
I posted a message to a girl who asked about $ or gifts and got such back lash for saying no gifts only $. Sorry to say even though people might think its rude of me but $ only. I told my guest who asked what we wanted I said $ only. Gifts are for the shower. I would say $400 is fine thats usually what we do. I have never gone to a wedding I had to fly to so I can see how you might be tight on $ so even $300 might be fine.
the reason i am asking is because 'money only' seems to be the rule in NY (where I am from) but this couple is not from NY and is not getting married in NY. I know some OOTers find money gifts tacky or not thoughtful, which is why I am not sure what to do. I can't see someone being upset to receive cash, but FH seems to think we should buy a registry gift.
LOL I'm not sure if you actually read my original post, but that's ok. We don't have to fly to go to their wedding. I might have been a little confusing so here is the situation.
We all went to school in city A (non-NY). We still live there, they don't, but they are coming back here to get married. We don't have to travel for their wedding, they do.
We are getting married in NY, and they need to travel for our wedding. So, it's going to cost them more to attend ours than it will for us to attend theirs. Not sure if we should be extra generous because of that.
jaep129
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Re: A little complicated, need some advice
Sorry I did read it just ADD lol....OK so I guess then FH is right it is more of a NY thing to give $ I would buy a gift and do what the other girl said and send it to their and bring a card with a pic. I would also maybe put some $ in it to. Spend maybe $300 on gifts and $100 cash. I just am not a gift person at weddings I think thats tacky. Its funny how different areas have different rules! Good luck!
