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A little light hearted laugh for today

MOBLaurel Posted:

A little light hearted laugh for today

How to Shower like a Woman / Man

How to Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way,cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs
Turn off shower
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ***.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face
Wash your armpits
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Shampoo your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on floor
Janice Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

so true of my DH except the peeing part!!
eogara Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

OMG the man part was the funniest thing I have ever read, that could have been written about FH!!! Except the peeing part. I think. I hope .
Janice Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today


Posted by eogara

OMG the man part was the funniest thing I have ever read, that could have been written about FH!!! Except the peeing part. I think. I hope .



that was what I thinking about too when I was posting...I hope he is not peeing, if everything else was dead on, he probably is.
don424 Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

um ladies

newsflash, 99.9% of men pee in the shower
Janice Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today


Posted by don424

um ladies

newsflash, 99.9% of men pee in the shower



why!!! please tell me why!!
don424 Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

we're lazy and it's convenient

February05 Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today


Posted by don424

we're lazy and it's convenient



AND it also kills athletes foot
Butterflybride Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today


Posted by don424

um ladies

newsflash, 99.9% of men pee in the shower



I figured as much...that's a shame...

The rest was hilarious though!
MOBLaurel Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

This gives new meaning to cleaning the bathroom! I'm never going to put a window in a bathroom and just a big drain in the floor so I can go in with a power washer......if I can rip it from my DH's hands. Something about a long hard hose that pulsates and shoots water. When the warm weather is here everything is clean clean clean and he could care less about cleaning anything!
cocoa Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

THAT IS THE TRUTH!!! omg too funny!!!

cocoa Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

i'm sorry to be a killjoy...but i pee too...I'M SORRY, i don't know why...maybe it's the running water...please don't hate me...
ambersmom Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

When I used to go jetskiing w/my brother, he would never stop to pee, yet I'd be rushing off to the nearest beach comfort station, spending about 1/2 an hour peeling the wetsuit off my body. So I was like 'You never have to go??'. He was like 'Nope, I pee while we're riding, the other guys too'. No wonder the the ocean water is salty! I kept my mouth CLAMPED while riding behind them again. Dirty boys!
don424 Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

ocean is nature's toilet

Janice Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

I did go rafting once, and we were freezing, we kept drinking more beer to pee, because peeing in our wet suits kept us warm
Vicky1706 Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today


Posted by cocoa

i'm sorry to be a killjoy...but i pee too...I'M SORRY, i don't know why...maybe it's the running water...please don't hate me...



I pee in the shower too! What is wrong with that!!!
Blu-ize Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

The rule is...whoever pees sprays down the tub with Lysol with bleach...I have a very clean tub...
MOBLaurel Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today

I think I've learned somthin today...
Katherine121 Posted:

Re: A little light hearted laugh for today


Posted by neeniebean86


Posted by don424

we're lazy and it's convenient



AND it also kills athletes foot



Okay - I am over the top hysterical.

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