We have thought of having an E-party on long island and inviting all of our church members and family to it because we wont be able to have them at the wedding. However, we where told that we can't do that because it is 'impolite'. The same with a bridal shower up here (Albany) with my friends. I wanted to be able to have all my friends go though I can't invite them all to the wedding, only my closest friends can be invited. However, again I have been told this is impolite. What can I do to be able to have my less close friends involved in some sort of celebration with me. People need to understand I can't invite everyone I know. That would easily make up over 300 people! Help! Any suggestion for either (especially the bridal shower because I really want all the girls to be there).
september2004
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
i consider it impolite as well, however i understand why you would want to do this. would you be offended if you invited these people for such a gathering and they did not bring presents? if the people are important, then i would have a party and not call it an e-party or bridal shower, just a time to get together and have fun. at the event someone can make a toast to the occasion, but don't draw so much attention to the fact that you won't be inviting them to the wedding...
Darcy
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
Oh yeah. I have no problem with not getting gifts. I talked briefly with my MOH about this and told her that no gifts are fine. I just want to do some of the silly games. I have been to 2 other friends parties recently and they had some silly games that were not necessarily wedding themed. Also, many of my friends have been warned we can't invite everyone and understand the situation. I was thinking my MOH could tell people that if they really wanted to put in for a gift she could get me a gift card or something that I could use on clothes for the honeymoon.
WinterBride2005
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
Maybe you can cut back on other things, so that you can invite who you want without offending anyone.
cluelessbride
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
Posted by september2004
i consider it impolite as well, however i understand why you would want to do this. would you be offended if you invited these people for such a gathering and they did not bring presents? if the people are important, then i would have a party and not call it an e-party or bridal shower, just a time to get together and have fun. at the event someone can make a toast to the occasion, but don't draw so much attention to the fact that you won't be inviting them to the wedding...
I think this is the way to go. Really you shouldn't have another party for yourself when you are not inviting them to your wedding or your shower. Just throw a party for the sake of getting together with friends. But don't make it wedding-related. IMO, that would be very rude.
laudipop
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
You know, I don't really think it's rude unless you're expecting them to give you gifts. FH and I went to a party like that just last night. They sent an evite saying they would really love to have invited all their friends to their wedding but they just couldn't afford it. So they were having a pre-wedding party to celebrate with everyone and that they ABSOLUTELY did not want gifts. Just a chance to be with the folks they cared about.
Rainmama
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
My friends just had a very small wedding and reception recently and they only invited a handful of their closest friends. They'll be having a large party this summer to celebrate their marriage...I don't think anyone was offended by this.
whb2004
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
I've struggled with this one too. My fmil is throwing a party for us and is inviting people who are as well as people who are not invited to the wedding. I was really hesitant to do this, but I think it is ok. We are just calling it a generic party/celebration, not an engagement party. And gifts are not expected at all. I was nervous people might be offended, but I think (hope) they won't be!
I think as long as gifts are not expected and you make it clear it's just a party it is fine.
Darcy
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Re: a party with people not invited to the wedding
Thanks guys! Cutting back is not an option, we are already there. My gown is 330, there is no limo cause the recetion and cerimony are at the same place, and in general just not spending that much. My father is juust being moe tight than we thought and we are paying for alot of it. Also, with having 'another' party for me... we are talking minimal cost. We wont even need to rent a place for it. Anyway, thanks guys. I guess I already know my friends, the ones I would invite, would not be offended anyway.
