A sad announcement (updated 4/18/06)

Update:

Ladies I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all your love and support, We have had a difficult few days.

I want to let you all know Michael and I are talking, after many angry words, misunderstanding and finally, finally total honesty, I was able to figure out just what the real problem is, he is really really just scared. It took us both some time to figure it out, right now what I am asking from all of you is one thing PLEASE PLEASE PRAY for us, right now we really need it.

Some of you may know he is hearing impaired, I know many of the 05 girls know this because they know alittle bit about our history. He began picking on little things, things we could easliy resolve, finances, health issues things of that nature. Somehow he got it in his head, that he was somehow protecting me from a life I didn't deserve, the life of having to always take care of a handicap person. Of course I told him this is silly, we have been through so much in the time we have been dating with my surgury and other things we had to overcome, if we could make it through that, we could handle anything, but I realized he needed to figure this out on his own, he needed to realize he could handle having a wife and maybe a family one day, if he just stop worrying and let life lead us on the path God intends for us, together.

As it stand right now, I have some small hope that we may be able to resolve things and have our happy ending, I really need those prayers, and not prayers for us to work out, but prayers for us to figure out what the right path for us to take is.

Thank you again for all your wonderful FM's and words of encouragement, it means more than you will ever really know

~Hugs
Jennifer








Well this is def a post I never thought I'd be writing, especially three weeks before my wedding but I am sad to announce our wedding is cancelled.

There are many reasons, but I have to be honest and say there were signs, I just ignored them. For the last few months, especially since the move to PA, things have not been well with us. Constant fighting over small things are always an indicator of larger issues, but I was somehow foolish enough to believe love would conquer all.

What it all boils down to, is he is just not ready to get married, not ready to grow up, not ready to have all this responisbilty of a wife and future family put upon him. Of course it's much more complicated than this, and I will be honest and say that I was not perfect in the way I handle certain things, but I really thought we would make it, but I was wrong.

I wish I could be angry but I can't, right now it's just too raw, to painful, almost as if someone died? isn't that strange?? to think of it that way, but thats how I feel, I think more than anything right now I am just so hurt, so disappointed, in myself for not seeing things more clearly and in him for taking so long to tell me the truth about how he felt.

Anyway I just wanted to let you all know what was going on and I am sure I will be back someday, I always lurk, there are some weddings coming up over the summer that I can't wait to see pictures of.

To all the May Brides, my Best Wishes!!!

To all the original 05'er's, so many of you have touched my life in big and small ways, I wish you continued happiness always!

I'll be seeing you..

Hugs
~Jen