a thought about myasmom's post
Couldn't find the original post, but I wanted to put in my 10 cents, so here goes. This is what I would call a 'deep reflection', so set aside a little time to read.
I think that everyone is entitled to have the wedding of their dreams (lots of money spent or none at all) and no one should be judged because of it. HOWEVER, there is a culture about weddings in general (not just on this board )where people tend to give greater attention or place greater value upon what appears to be more lavish or expensive.
For example, there was a post started yesterday where some people were making fun of Upstate New York weddings because people did not have the lavish cocktail hours or menus that you are more likely to see here on LI. As I read the thread, I thought those were very petty comments. Why even start a post like that? Maybe small cocktail hours is how they do weddings upstate or maybe that is what that couple could afford. Not eveyone can do things the way we do it on LI.
So, my point is that when it comes to weddings, people (subconsciously or not)always make comparisons although they also love to emphasize the 'intrinsic' importance of the wedding day or the love between the bride and groom. And we all do it regardless of how much money we spend on our weddings. We all get caught up in the details.
Personally, I can't be upset if someone wants to spend $50, 000 and I want to spend $10. And I can't hate on any of you either if you would prefer to read about a wedding at a castle or a mansion instead of reading about my wedding at Verdi's, which is quite simply a family owned catering hall. Heck, that is absolutely your right. That's just part of the culture of weddings. Some people are fortunate enough to have money for the all details, and others like me--Well hey, I can only afford a fraction of those details. In my opinion, it doesn't mean my day means any less, but I do think there are some people who do think so and quite frankly that's a shame. And sometimes it is more than evident on these boards.
Which leads me to my next point : I think that myasmom's point was more of a philosophical one: Why does it have to be that way if it's really and truly about the ceremony?
I found the post valuable, because I learned something from the brides who raise the point of how painful it is when others think that they are bragging or that their wedding is more fluff than substance when they have an expensive wedding. SO some of us think people devalue our weddings when we don't spend as much money as others, but for others, their experience is devalued, when they are criticized for spending more than what others think they should. To be honest, coming from my background and experience, I never thought of that. So thank you ladies for raising that point.
To whomever, said you shouldn't give a 'flying' F*&$#' about what people think about your wedding. She's absolutely right. But, I think for lots of folks it's hard when it comes to their weddings. It's not necessarily about insecurities or about coveting what other have but maybe just wanting others to see appreciate how important you day is for you.
And so, when my wedding day does come, if you want to humor me a little bit and make me feel like a princess on the boards, feel free to check out my review! If not, that's cool too! It's all good.
One love,
Lanikai
I think that everyone is entitled to have the wedding of their dreams (lots of money spent or none at all) and no one should be judged because of it. HOWEVER, there is a culture about weddings in general (not just on this board )where people tend to give greater attention or place greater value upon what appears to be more lavish or expensive.
For example, there was a post started yesterday where some people were making fun of Upstate New York weddings because people did not have the lavish cocktail hours or menus that you are more likely to see here on LI. As I read the thread, I thought those were very petty comments. Why even start a post like that? Maybe small cocktail hours is how they do weddings upstate or maybe that is what that couple could afford. Not eveyone can do things the way we do it on LI.
So, my point is that when it comes to weddings, people (subconsciously or not)always make comparisons although they also love to emphasize the 'intrinsic' importance of the wedding day or the love between the bride and groom. And we all do it regardless of how much money we spend on our weddings. We all get caught up in the details.
Personally, I can't be upset if someone wants to spend $50, 000 and I want to spend $10. And I can't hate on any of you either if you would prefer to read about a wedding at a castle or a mansion instead of reading about my wedding at Verdi's, which is quite simply a family owned catering hall. Heck, that is absolutely your right. That's just part of the culture of weddings. Some people are fortunate enough to have money for the all details, and others like me--Well hey, I can only afford a fraction of those details. In my opinion, it doesn't mean my day means any less, but I do think there are some people who do think so and quite frankly that's a shame. And sometimes it is more than evident on these boards.
Which leads me to my next point : I think that myasmom's point was more of a philosophical one: Why does it have to be that way if it's really and truly about the ceremony?
I found the post valuable, because I learned something from the brides who raise the point of how painful it is when others think that they are bragging or that their wedding is more fluff than substance when they have an expensive wedding. SO some of us think people devalue our weddings when we don't spend as much money as others, but for others, their experience is devalued, when they are criticized for spending more than what others think they should. To be honest, coming from my background and experience, I never thought of that. So thank you ladies for raising that point.
To whomever, said you shouldn't give a 'flying' F*&$#' about what people think about your wedding. She's absolutely right. But, I think for lots of folks it's hard when it comes to their weddings. It's not necessarily about insecurities or about coveting what other have but maybe just wanting others to see appreciate how important you day is for you.
And so, when my wedding day does come, if you want to humor me a little bit and make me feel like a princess on the boards, feel free to check out my review! If not, that's cool too! It's all good.
One love,
Lanikai
