A work in progress...need some poem help...

Hey gals... I'm trying to come up with a little poem for this wish bowl.

I'm slowly making progress. I'm wondering if you could look it over, and help me in a few sections.

This is what I have so far....

'Please take a moment.
if you can,
to sign your name
and maybe then,
if you have a moment more,
please share your thoughts
on life and (men?) I'm stuck here...

Pass along your insight
and advice,
on love, marriage, and
keeping the spice.

We'll keep your wishes
in a jar,
and pull one out when
times are hard.
Your words will take
us back to now,
when you watched us stand and
take our vows.'


What do we think? What should I add? Take out?
Any help would be appreciated...

Thanks!

---

Posted by autumnbride10

Hey gals... I'm trying to come up with a little poem for this wish bowl.

I'm slowly making progress. I'm wondering if you could look it over, and help me in a few sections.

This is what I have so far....

'Please take a moment.
if you can,
to sign your name
and maybe then,
if you have a moment more,
please share your thoughts
on life and (men?) I'm stuck here...

Pass along your insight
and advice,
on love, marriage, and
keeping the spice.

We'll keep your wishes
in a jar,
and pull one out when
times are hard.
Your words will take
us back to now,
when you watched us stand and
take our vows.'


What do we think? What should I add? Take out?
Any help would be appreciated...

Thanks!

---

i would take out...

if you have a moment more,
please share your thoughts
on life and (men?) I'm stuck here...

and then continue from there...i really like it, you did a great job.

Ah! Yes! That fits nicely! Thank you!

thank you for coming
we're so glad you're here
Take a moment
to sign
write something sincere...

Maybe advice on love and life
or possibly your wish
for the new husband and wife!

whatever you do...
please sign your name
so we can remember today
through each coming year...



sorry its a lil choppy its off the top of my head...ill keep thinking!

---

Posted by PauliesGirl

thank you for coming
we're so glad you're here
Take a moment
to sign
write something sincere...

Maybe advice on love and life
or possibly your wish
for the new husband and wife!

whatever you do...
please sign your name
so we can remember today
through each coming year...



sorry its a lil choppy its off the top of my head...ill keep thinking!

---

Nice. I like it!

I found these:

These cards are for our wedding book
a modern twist on the standard look
Take one to the table and fill it out
Giving good wishes is what it's about
But weddings are more than rings and tossed rice
So please feel free to give us advice
Then when our wedding day has passed
We will have great memories that will last
For when we look at them we'll see
Kind words from friends and family


1.
Please write your thoughts and
Gestures to share with us for life.
For the greatest gift of all will be,
The gift of your advice.



As we begin our Journey –
A brand new Mr. and Mrs.
We surely could use
Your Advice and good Wishes.

Share with us your Wisdom
About Marriage, Love, and Life,
The secret to being a good Husband
Or a thoughtful, loving Wife.

Jot down a Memory,
A reminder of the day.
A doodle or picture will do
If you don’t know what to say.

Please don’t forget –
It would be such a shame
Don’t drop your card in the bowl
Without signing your Name.

Weddings are so much more
Than rings and tossed rice.
So grab a penAnd write some Advice!
1.
Please leave us a note,
please drop us a line,
add advice on marriage,
to stand the test of time



Instead of a guestbook stuck in a drawer,
John and Mary thought they would do more.
Please write them a note, a wish, or greeting.
On the honeymoon it will make for good reading!
Or if you prefer, some advice would be nice,
on how to stay married and keep the spice.

From each of your experiences,
Comes a very treasured gift,
A piece of knowledge,
We don?t know exists.

Please Share with us your wisdom,
About marriage, love, and life.
How to be a loving husband,
Or the perfect wife.

Please write your
Thoughts and gestures
To share with us for life.
For the greatest gift of all,
Is the gift of your advice
1.