aarrrgghhh

Hi girls...I need to vent!! Sorry if this is a bit confusing!!

Only three months to go and the problems are already starting. :( First, I just found out that a couple of my bridesmaids never mailed the $75 deposit for their dresses like they were supposed to and just got a letter saying that the dresses were never ordered because they (Lillettes) never received the money. Sheesh.

Then, I got a phone call this morning from my future MIL telling me that the mother of my two flower girls (fiance's aunt) never ordered the flower girl dresses (she was supposed to order them 2 months ago). It seems that she found another dress she loves and wants me to come see it before she orders the other dress. Keep in mind that I live in Rochester, NY and cannot make it downstate very often. This woman is FILTHY rich, yet she's complaining that the alterations are going to be expensive for the dress I chose and the other one she found fits the girls much better. Plus this other dress is WAY more expensive then the one I chose, so it will come to the same cost no matter what. I offered to pay for the alterations (which I don't feel I need to do) but she is still trying to change my mind. My future MIL saw the other dress and said it is hideous. Isn't the flowergirl dress MY decision?

Okay last vent....my sister got engaged last night (Wahoo!!!) and I am so happy for her. She has been with this guy for a long time and we knew this was coming. Anyway, her fiancee is older and has a good job. Her ring is quite large and I have heard that it is beautiful. My mom WOULD NOT stop ranting and raving about it. When I got engaged, my fiancee was in med school (he still is) and had no money. He got a summer job and worked his butt off to pay for my ring, which is probably half the size of my sisters. My mom saw my ring and barely said a word...I think she said it was 'cute.' (FYI: I love my ring and wouldn't trade it for anything). Also, we are waiting 2 full years from the time of our engagement to our wedding date. When my sister told my mom that she was thinking of doing the same thing, my mom said, 'Now why on earth would you wait 2 years to get married?? You should get married next year!'

Do you see what I am trying to say here? I just feel like she is favoring my sister (my dad totally agrees). She has always loved her fiancee and always hated mine...until he proposed of course. Anyway, I'm sorry that this is sooo long, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening. :)


~melissa~

Melissa- (((HUGS)))

I'm sorry to hear of all your problems! The flowergirl dresses are YOUR choice!!!! If you love them, then I would just tell her to order it and that's that!!!!!!!! Also, can you tell your BM that they NEED to order their dresses NOW??? $75 is not a lot to put down inorder for them to be ordered! (my BM's had to put down $150, which was half the dress, and most of them put it on credit). As for your sister, I know you are happy for her and it's hard to hear all this- how big and beautiful her ring is, how she shouldn't wait 2 years, etc. I don't know what I'd do if I was in your shoes either! It doesn't matter the size of the ring. I think it means more that your FH scraped as much as he can to get you your ring. He picked it out especially for you, hoping you would say 'yes' and spend the rest of your life with him. Down the road you can always upgrade if you like, (however I am sentimental and would want to keep the original stone b/c it means so much).

Right now, just try to focus on YOUR wedding and how happy you are with your FH. Why let other people's materialistic ways ruin your moment? Remember that it is your day, so do whatever makes you and your FH happy.

Good luck!
Kelly

How much more stress can people cause you Melissa. First off, call each of your BMs tonight. Explain to them that the dresses must be ordered. If for some reason they thought the dresses would be ordered with $$ they are incorrect. Tell them you will call the bridal store next week to make sure it is all done.
Then just call the FG's mother. Tell her that you really LOVE the dress you picked out and hope that she will understand that is the dress that you really want the FGs to wear. I mean, this women is not being fair to you at all. Tell her that you spent a long time looking for the perfect FG dress and it is fair that you chose the dress.If she says NO outright, decide Melissa- maybe no FGs are okay too.
Now for your Mom- don't ever bother getting into it with her Melissa. Let her rant and rave all she wants. She obviously doesn't see how hurt it is making you. Your FH is going to be a doctor and that means sacrificing a lot right now. Maybe she just doesn't see the point of it all, but it will be worth it. Just be happy for her sister and support her. It is hard, because you want your Mom to treat you both the same but at least your Dad is on your side. And plus, you have us too.

You poor thing! I would definatley call the girls & tell them to start getting the money thing taken care of. Explain to them how important it is. If they don't have the money right now (And you can trust them & you can afford it) I would put up the money just to get that started. I know it's a pain but these are the things you have to do with some friends (I have been there one to many times)

As for the FG if you can't get it in your Fi Aunts head maybe you can have him talk to her or his Mother. Maybe they can get through to her. Just tell her straight out that this is your day & your taste so she should really listen. Sometimes we just have to tell it flat out.

As for your Sister & your Mom's new obsession with her unfortunatley there is nothing you can do about that. Just know that you & your Mom have different taste. You can possibly talk to her but if you feel there really isn't a point just attempt to ignore it. I'm sure that she will be eating her words when it comes down to it. She might not realize that what she says has been hurting your feelings. If your parents are still together have your Dad talk to her.

I hope this helps! I wish you the best of luck!! Keep smiling!

Thank you all SO much. This is why I love these boards. Although I don't post very often, I know I can always count on you ladies to give me good advice, as well as a shoulder to lean on! You all made me feel better already!

I am going to be blunt with the FG's mother. If she still wants to argue with me, then you know what, no flowergirls is less $ and less stress for me.

My cousins are my bridesmaids, and if I didn't already know how irresponsible they are, I would definitely lay out the money! :) However, they have a huge history of not paying their debts. Again, I have three other BM's so if these girls don't get their dresses, then OH WELL. Sorry if I sound like a b*tch, but I am just so annoyed at this point that I don't even care. :)

Anyway, thanks again for listening and offering your advice. I'm sure everything will work out in the end!! :)