Addressing Invitations - Etiquette

Does anyone know the etiquette on using ampersands (&) when addressing wedding invitations?

For the most part, I like to follow traditional etiquette, however, when it comes to inviting couples, I REFUSE to neglect addressing the woman by name. For instance, etiquette dictates you address a couple: Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. I would like to address it as: Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe

SO, should I write:

Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Doe

or

Mr. and Mrs. John & Jane Doe

or

Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Doe

or

Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe

Anyone know???????

outside envelope should be:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
everything should be written out, like Street, post office box, etc.

I did inner envelopes with first names of friends, and Mr. and Mrs. of parents of friends.

not sure what the right answer is but I pick this one:
Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe

how funny, my mom made a big stink about the same thing...

she said 'it's bad enough that i have to lose my last name, now i have to lose my first?!?'



i agree and we are going to be facing the same issue with a twist.

FH's parents are more 'formal' than my parents are. They address everyone by Mr. and Mrs., whereas my folks insist people use their first names. If it were up to my mom, the invites would read:

John and Jane Doe
request the...

I take 2 issues with this. One, it sets the tone for the affair indicating that it may be casual which it will be far from. Two, we need to keep it consistent to respect the fact that FH's parents are more 'formal' when addressing individuals.

I pick

Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe

provided that it fits on the card!

I understand etiquette dictates the absence of the woman's name, but my somewhat feminist nature just restricts me from following this rule (why should the woman completely lose her identity???).

Anyhoo, by including the woman's name in the address field, I now have two 'ands' (Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe) -- SO, I'm wondering what the rule is on the ampersand (&) ...

I don't think there is a rule, since you're not 'supposed to' have 2 ampersands or ands in a name.

I guess keep it consistent, all &s or all ands.