addressing invites

this has probably been asked a trillion times.. but on the inside envelope of your invites.. where you would put for example matthew & samantha..

which name goes first? the girls or the guys?

thanks girls!

I don't think it really matters. I put it the way I would usually say it - in a case of say my aunt and uncle... I typically say the aunt's name first so I wrote Aunt Jean & Uncle Joe.

In the case of my friends, I put the one I am closer with first. If I was close w/ both, I usually put the girl's name first.

The male then female when it was Mr. and Mrs. on the outside.

When it was
Mr. Smith and Guest
Mr. Smith's name first then his guest

If it is Ms. Smith and Guest
Ms. Smith's First name goes first and then the guests


This is what I did

The woman's name first.

Of course this is only if you are using first names (very informal). Or if the couple has different last names (see below). It's only alphabetical order if they are couples of the same sex.

If being formal you can write 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith'.

Alternatively you can just write 'The Smiths' on the inside to avoid all issues.

If one of them has a title regardless of if it's the male or female that person goes first: 'Doctor & Mr. Smith'.

If they aren't married but live together you write their names on different lines.

Ms. Doe
Mr. Smith

(In my opinion the exception to this rule for the not married couples is if you are very good friends with one half of the couple then their name should go first regardless of their sex. I need to doublecheck this with my calligrapher though.)

If they don't live together address the outer envelope to your friend 'Mr. John Smith' and the inside to'

Mr. Smith
Ms. Doe

If they are married with different names you write it on the same line:

Ms. Doe and Mr. Smith

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter though, really. It's all BS.