FH has a big family including 1st, 2nd, and 3rd cousins who he sees all the time...
He wants to invite his 1st cousins' kids to the wedding but not his 2nd and 3rd cousins kids. (All kids are around the same age between 4 and 12)
Do you think his 2nd and 3rd cousins will show up to the wedding, see the kids, and wonder why their kids didnt get invited...or do you think they will understand??!?
wenR
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
Hard to call it..seing that the unexpected always occurs. Tho I think the 1st thought will be 'why is so and so bringing their kid and I can't'. You will prob have to state the obvious, can't count on people to have common sense.
IheartDanger1023
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
I think they may feel a way about it. We're worried about a similar situation...we don't want the kids to come (other than the ones in the BP) but they're from out of the country so it's understandable. That's how we'll explain it if anyone questions...but then again I think it's rude if anyone says something to you about it.
stx29kls
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
Honestly, if you invite one family's kids, you should invite them all. As a fellow bride, I know how hard it is to spend the money on kids at the wedding...but it does not look right (in my opinion) if you invite some and not others. I am having an adult only reception, just so there are no hard feelings.
MLAngelo
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
Yes I do... its the reason I had no kids at all. It would have opened a bad can of worms. I think if its your own nieces and nephews or if the kids are in the wedding you can pull it off without anyone being upset, but after that your getting yourself into a bad situation.
MLAngelo
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
Posted by IheartDanger1023
I think they may feel a way about it. We're worried about a similar situation...we don't want the kids to come (other than the ones in the BP) but they're from out of the country so it's understandable. That's how we'll explain it if anyone questions...but then again I think it's rude if anyone says something to you about it.
We arranged a babysitter at the hotel (one we knew and trusted) and told our guests with kids who came from OOT. THey were thrilled to have a night without the kids and to be able to leave them with someone they knew we trusted.
CantWaitMrsH
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
Id be careful as of course they will speak and may think that they too can bring their kids. If the thought is that your 1st cousins can bring their kids that would in turn be your 2nd cousins no? I think I am a bit confused.
We are doing 1st cousins and then 2nd cousins (which are their children) who are 21 and over only. But we are doing an adult only reception.
FutureMrsCat050412
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
FH thinks there is no problem. He thinks his 2nd and 3rd cousins will understand why their kids weren't invited. I dont think they will.
I guess this might be a question for my FMIL.
I would show up and be like why weren't my kids invited!!!
FutureMrsGTL
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
That is a tough one and people get offended easily especially when it comes to their kids!
pjc92980
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
im in the same situation...and only plan to invite the 1st cousins. it just gets too out of hand to invite them all and they just need to understand. they may question it but they all know the family dynamics and will just have to deal!
I also feel that if i start inviting all family with their children what about my friends?? i do not plan on inviting them with kids and if they saw a lot of other kids around they may wonder....esp considering a i am closer with a lot of my friends and their kids then i am with 2nd and 3rd cousins.
christine2010
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
My brother & SIL have three children (ages 9, 7 & 3). They where once invited to a dinner party at a friends house & the friend told them no children. When they should up to the dinner party they noticed their where children invited. When my brother asked why that was the situation the friend said, oh well you have three children it would be too much (mind you one of the other guest has twin 2 year olds). Needless to say my brother & SIL where extremely pissed. My brother came up with a great sentence after that incident, 'If I have to sit & hear someone elses kids then I might as well sit & hear my own kids.'
With that said, I think you should either have an adult only reception or invite all the kids.
For our wedding the only kids invited where my brothers 3 kids because they are my nieces & nephew. We have friends that have children & cousins that have children & it was the best place the draw the line.
little j
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
does he see his 1st cousins more than the 2nd cousins? if so, i think its fine....if everyone pretty much hangs out the same, then i dont think its fair...
kwim...
Im_My_Own_Princess
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
i went through something similar for my e-party (feb 2009) I'm STILL dealing with the 'but their kids were there' BS now...
I would say either ALL kids or NO kids.
unless there are kids in the BP- thats our only ticket in.
FutureMrsGTL
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
The only kids at my wedding will be my RB and FG
Except people are RUDE.. my cousin showed up to my eparty with his daughter shes like 1 1/2 I specifically said at least 1000x NO KIDS
FutureMrsCat050412
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
Posted by little j
does he see his 1st cousins more than the 2nd cousins? if so, i think its fine....if everyone pretty much hangs out the same, then i dont think its fair...
kwim...
he see all his 1st, 2nd , and 3rd cousins the same amount!!
BellaRegina
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
Thats really rough...i'm glad that i dont have many kids in the family. I think the eaisest and fairest thing to do is invite all or none. Someone is going to get upset, and thats the last thing you want at the wedding. Even if you have a great reason for not inviting the 2nd and 3rd cousins, people can be selfish and will get upset, no matter how good of a reason.
Good luck and i hope you work it out.
little34
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Re: ADULT ONLY RECEPTION with kids??
hard call....I guess it depends on the family. In my thinking though I would say all or none