advice

ETAB Posted: Oct 27, 2006 01:50 PM

advice

I just found out one of my bridesmaid is due three days before my wedding. Do you think it makes sense to have her in the wedding still. She says it is my choice, I know she wants to be in it and she knows I want her in it. At this point it is just a question of if it is possible. what do you guys think?

SeptBride70 Posted: Oct 27, 2006 01:52 PM

Re: advice

yikes, that is a stressful situation-- b/c she could give birth ON that day or right before and then be in the hospital-- so, just to be safe (and so i would not count on her and then something happen and she couldn't make it) i would let her off the hook. i would tell her that you would love to have her of course but that for you and her it's better that she is not in the BP

jessandjimiswedding Posted: Oct 27, 2006 01:58 PM

Re: advice

i agree with dani. but make it seem like it's better for your BM, not you.

shelby34 Posted: Oct 27, 2006 01:59 PM

Re: advice

That same thing happened to a friend of mine. She told the BM that it would be best for her not to purchase the dress and everything and then not be able to use it. She could have the baby just before your wedding and still not be able to be in it.
I think you should find another responsibility for her in the wedding that would still involve her, but not throw everything off if she cannot be there.
I know that stinks, but it seems like the way to go.

ETAB Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:00 PM

Re: advice

yeah I think you guys are right. I dont want her to waste money on the dress and then not wear it.

sugarkube4 Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:02 PM

Re: advice

This just happened to me last week.. My BM was going to get preggo at the end of January so she would only be 3 months in.. well, she called me a few days later and said she was pregnant and that she would be in her 8th month and wasn't going to be able to be in the party.. what could I do?? I was upset bc she's my best friend.. but I couldnt tell her she couldn't be pregnant??

and the funny thing was, was that when we first got engaged, I made her promise me she wouldn't be pregnant for my wedding.. I guess promises go along way..

thelastresort Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:07 PM

Re: advice

I would leave it up to her. I would tell her that of course I want her in it, but remind her of the expense involved. If she still wants to do it, I would let her. I would just also be prepared to double up gm's on a bm just in case.

ETAB Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:13 PM

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yeah there will be doubling up as well.. unless the gm (her husband) is going to be in the hospital with her that day.. then it would make it even.

dplehat Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:13 PM

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my sister was due on her bil wedding day. She didnt want to let down her fsil so she ordered the dress 2 sizes bigger. She ended up having the baby two weeks before the wedding. She had to wear slimming panties but was happy she was able to share in the day.
My brothers wife gave birth days after her sisters wedding and she was her sisters moh. So as long as she is willing to deal with the money loss let her stay in. She may give birth two weeks before, two weeks after or on the day. You never know. good luck.

Mooshyboo Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:25 PM

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I would let the BM Choose ~ if she feels she wont be able to handle it ~ but it is cutting it real close! she might be delivering on your wedding day!

jenn122397 Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:34 PM

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hmm - i would have to say no
if i were in that position i dont think i would be comfortable because of teh clotes, shoes, and all teh enrgy used for that day. Plus it is really close to her due date - she could go early.
She obviously knows why you wouldnt have her its not like some out of the blue reason - i think she will understand

maybe you could have her do a reading or something like that instead

TnOiOnL Posted: Oct 27, 2006 02:41 PM

Re: advice

I would ask HER to choose... It's really her decision since SHE is buying the dress.. Does she really want to buy the dress and take the risk of not being there to wear it???

Crappy situation

OrangeGrl Posted: Oct 27, 2006 03:05 PM

Re: advice

Posted by Mooshyboo

I would let the BM Choose ~ if she feels she wont be able to handle it ~ but it is cutting it real close! she might be delivering on your wedding day!

I agree...I mght be in the same situation but there is no way I could tell her I don't want her in my wedding party!

EGreene79 Posted: Oct 27, 2006 03:16 PM

Re: advice

Posted by lollipop

I would leave it up to her. I would tell her that of course I want her in it, but remind her of the expense involved. If she still wants to do it, I would let her. I would just also be prepared to double up gm's on a bm just in case.

I agree. Tell her you'd love for her to be a BM, but she shouldn't feel obligated. Maybe she's looking for a way out, but isn't comfortable asking? But even if she's due around that time - I have women that come to work up until their due date and they're just fine.

Mrs.CM Posted: Oct 27, 2006 03:25 PM

Re: advice

Posted by lollipop

I would leave it up to her. I would tell her that of course I want her in it, but remind her of the expense involved. If she still wants to do it, I would let her. I would just also be prepared to double up gm's on a bm just in case.

I agree!

PegaLega Posted: Oct 27, 2006 04:41 PM

Re: advice

I would let her choose-I would definitely be on the fence b/c she could possibly have the baby the day before or the day of which would mean she wouldnt be there. I wouldnt want her to buy the dress and not be able to use it-or buy the dress TOO big and have the baby early....I would let her decide

JassyandOscar Posted: Oct 27, 2006 05:46 PM

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wOW!!! As much as you may want to, that is pretty stressful.... You never know if she will deliver on time (especially if its her first). If it was me I would probably not have her in the wedding.