We have a wedding next weekend to go to in the Maryland area and the couple came to our wedding and gave us a pretty bad gift. I know they had to pay for a hotel room but I also know they do very very well for a living (they work for the same company at my husband) and we are having to pay for a room as well. My issue is this, DH does not want to give them what they gave us. He wants to give them more than 2x the amount because theirs was just that bad...and even 2x the amount wouldn't have been so great a gift. My question is this...what would you do in this situation? I mean if we do give them a lot more are they going to feel bad. DH is too proud to give the amount they gave to us, he thinks its wrong.
LadyDuda81509
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
good they should feel bad!! to give a really bad gift when you are getting married not too long after is crazy to me! i always try to think when giving gifts like what do i wanna receive at my wedding! taking into concideration of booking a room and stuff i always try to do as much as i possibly could!
i say let the feel bad!
JennyAPH
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Honestly this is a tough situation but I would give them what you feel is a good gift, especially if your hubby doesn't want to give them a gift like they gave you. If you can afford it then do it, don't consider what they gave you. If they feel bad then oh well.
Im a Pepper
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I would reciprocate the gift. If they couldn't reach deeper into their pockets, why should you? I know the wedding isn't all about gifts, and I usually try to cover my plate and then some, but why should you give them soo much more than they gave you?
Debrian2009
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I think that you and DH should give them a gift that you think is appropriate, and what you think you can afford.
I know it totally ***** that they took the cheap route for your wedding, but at the same time, you will be the better couple and not seem so 'petty' if you gave the same gift they did.
Good luck with your decision!
pa56
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I would not take into account what they gave you. What if their wedding had been before yours? What would you have given?
A very good friend of mine gave me a gift off my registry worth less than $40 (and she's a surgeon!) but if she were getting married tomorrow, I would give her something more expensive.
ELluvsMB
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Posted by pa56
I would not take into account what they gave you. What if their wedding had been before yours? What would you have given?
A very good friend of mine gave me a gift off my registry worth less than $40 (and she's a surgeon!) but if she were getting married tomorrow, I would give her something more expensive.
If our wedding was before theirs I would have given more no questions asked and I haven't been to many weddings. I think its common knowledge that you give more at a wedding then you would pay, lets say, for a dinner at Fridays!!! The gift was off our registry and was around $50. We're going to give, we think, $125...and even that is low, but I can't fathom giving $250. I just don't understand what people think sometimes.
MaggieLuvsJoe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I would give what they gave to you!!
littlepixie12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Sorry if this sounds bad.. but I would give them exactly what they gave you and not a penny more.. it sounds like the same situation. they got a hotel room and so do you.. and your DH shouldnt be embarassed because they obviously werent embarassed at giving that gift to you and they work together... honestly, thats what I would do.
FutureMrsG
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Posted by Im a Pepper
I would reciprocate the gift. If they couldn't reach deeper into their pockets, why should you? I know the wedding isn't all about gifts, and I usually try to cover my plate and then some, but why should you give them soo much more than they gave you?
I TOTALLY agree.
MnM182008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I agree with your DH. I wouldn't give them what they gave me if it wasn't an appropriate gift for a wedding. 50.00 is low so maybe just give them 50.00 in cash and a gift off their registry. I would just be the better person and give them what you would have normally given at a wedding.
Shellymd
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
We are in the same position for a lot of upcoming weddings. A lot of people gave that amount. They were ALL out of towners. I will buy them a gift off their registry and try and use a coupon lol. I am sorry but I dont have any more then the next person so why should I go into debt when they didn't. JMO
pandafish519
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Posted by pa56
I would not take into account what they gave you. What if their wedding had been before yours? What would you have given?
A very good friend of mine gave me a gift off my registry worth less than $40 (and she's a surgeon!) but if she were getting married tomorrow, I would give her something more expensive.
ITA. it is SO hard NOT to take it into consideration, but i think in this case you need to be the bigger person. i don't think you should give an INSANE amount, i would take into consideration where the wedding is, cover your plates and call it a day.
coldasice217
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I don't know...I'm from the school where I tend to think that you give what you expect to receive in return. So going by that logic, I would just reciprocate. It doesn't sound like they're particularly close if they're just coworkers, so I wouldn't go nuts over it. I make sure to give generous gifts because I would expect the same of my friends and family for us.
Juhgail
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Posted by Debrian2009
I think that you and DH should give them a gift that you think is appropriate, and what you think you can afford.
I know it totally ***** that they took the cheap route for your wedding, but at the same time, you will be the better couple and not seem so 'petty' if you gave the same gift they did.
Good luck with your decision!
ITA. Give them what you think is right and what you can afford. For all you know they might have had some major economic problem (car dead, unexpected medial cost, unexpected home repair). Most likely they are just cheap, but I say just give them what you would normally give someone.
Take the high road on this.
MrsCastanedain09
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Posted by Juhgail
Posted by Debrian2009
I think that you and DH should give them a gift that you think is appropriate, and what you think you can afford.
I know it totally ***** that they took the cheap route for your wedding, but at the same time, you will be the better couple and not seem so 'petty' if you gave the same gift they did.
Good luck with your decision!
ITA. Give them what you think is right and what you can afford. For all you know they might have had some major economic problem (car dead, unexpected medial cost, unexpected home repair). Most likely they are just cheap, but I say just give them what you would normally give someone.
Take the high road on this.
I'm in this camp. Give what you can and it seems you can give more than $50. Take the high road indeed, they probably cheaped out, doesn't mean you should.
TheFutureMrsM
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
You should give them what they gave you, unfortunately for us, our wedding was one of the last ones, out of about 8. So we gave and gave and gave, and when it was our turn...WOW were we shocked. I wish ours was first because we would of saved ALOT of money
melcc83
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
Posted by ELluvsMB
We have a wedding next weekend to go to in the Maryland area and the couple came to our wedding and gave us a pretty bad gift. I know they had to pay for a hotel room but I also know they do very very well for a living (they work for the same company at my husband) and we are having to pay for a room as well. My issue is this, DH does not want to give them what they gave us. He wants to give them more than 2x the amount because theirs was just that bad...and even 2x the amount wouldn't have been so great a gift. My question is this...what would you do in this situation? I mean if we do give them a lot more are they going to feel bad. DH is too proud to give the amount they gave to us, he thinks its wrong.
Honestly I would give them exactly what they give you, let them see how it feels
melcc83
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I also plan on writing down what everyone gave us and put it in the memorybook for when its there turn. WHat goes around comes around
misci918
Posted:
Member since
Re: Advice for a Newlywed
I'm going to say to give what they gave you but not out of spite
I've recently gone to two weddings out of state, Mississippi and North Carolina, and I gave the girls what the other guests were giving which were things from the registry. I couldn't fathom spending less than 150 on a wedding gift and felt extremely rude doing this but this is what is customary. Now that its my turn they want to do what is customary in NY. Even though they would only be covering their plate I would feel horrible if they spent more on me than I did on them.
Giving them more than they gave you might embarrass them. Maybe they gave you a less expensive gift because they were saving for their own wedding and expected you to do the same.
