advice needed please!!

I know I can always count on you girls for good advice, so here's the situation:

FH's best friend (since 1st grade) is having his engagement party tomorrow night in NYC.
Its also one of my closest friends' bachelorette party, she is in my BP however I'm not in hers (and thats totally cool w me)

I thought I'd be able to arrange to go to her bach party once she & the girls get into the city, after the engagement party with FH, assuming he would meet a friend out while I met the girls, and then we'd drive home together.
Turns out FH's friend is away, and my 2 potential places to stay in nyc aren't available, and I can't sleep over her place afterwards b/c there's like 15 girls sleeping over. FYI she lives all the way in Ridge & I'm basically in Brooklyn..and I'm too out of the way for the limo to drop me off at home.

I called her an hour ago & explained the situation and that its 50/50 if I will be able to go or not (she's known the 2 party situation for a month).
She sounds dissapointed, but what can I do??

My solution is to go out just her and I, in 2 weeks and have a sleepover at her place and get some bonding time in.
What are your thoughts on this? Now I'm realizing I never should have committed to it in the first place and I feel terrible

Thanks Ladies!

i think u should not feel bad although im sure its hard not too but u got stuck in a situation and there is no way out.im sure she knows u would be there if u could and its a great idea about the sleepover to make it up.even if she is dissapointed at first she will be over it by the time she has her first drink and then she can tell u all about it when u guys see each other in 2 weeks.i know u feel bad but thats cause u are a good person who cares about the feelings of others,but im sure it will work out in the end. hth and have a great time with both parties

could you go and just leave early? so you could show your face but get home at a safe, reasonable time?

Personally I would go to the bachelorette party and have FH go to the eparty.....This way both of you are going to your friends party. There are going to be conflicts of events all the time and this way all friends are covered.....

I would be upset if one of my closest friends backed out at the last minute. Im sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear...JMO

Unfortunately 'dividing and conquering' is not an option....UGH!!
What if FH and I stopped by together AFTER the e-party (the e-party is 7-11 and the bachelorette party won't be in nyc until 12 or so) and had a drink for an hour?

PS She's definitely NOT the type of girl to get mad..she's very very cool and knows I'm in a tough spot...

FH said 'Let's play it by ear, you never know'.

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Posted by MLAngelo

I think an e-party is a bit more important. Not that a bachelorette isn't but its not an e-party. I think if you make it up doing one on one time thats fine. My own MOH already told me she probably won't be able to be at my bachelorette and I told her thats fine, we're going to go to the spa instead, just her and I. Sometimes one on one time is better anyways.

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yeaa, i was gonna say that

what time does the e-party end? why doesn't he ask other friends who are going to the e-party if they want to go out for drinks after, so this way he can hang out with his friends while you go to the bachelorette party. Or another option is if your FH can ask somebody at the e-party to drive him home and this way you can drive to meet up with your friends and have the car to take home since you dont have a place to stay in the city and you are too far for limo to drop you off, OR you can just take a cab home from the city.

I'll be honest and say not to bring him with you, she might be cool with it but others there might not and they'll just think why did you bring him its supposed to be girls night out. Some might not feel as comfortable going crazy at the bachelorette party lol. I never mind when girls bring their dh's, bf or whatever bc i love bringing dh BUT if its an all girls night out, even me who is very lenient with this will get annoyed.

I would definitely go to the e-party but also make the bachelorette, if you are that close to her then you don't want to miss this especially if you are in the bp. I would just find some way, whether somebody drives him home and you take the car or you can take a cab home.

I'm still not clear on why you can't go to both. Why don't you take a subway/train/cab home after the bachelorette party?