Advice Needed...BM Drama

Warning now kind of Logn but def need the advice

My mom, Mil and Bms have been planning my shower along with my best friend who is not in my wedding party because she if my Son's Godmother, wanted to share the wealth. I was visiting my cousin this past weekend who was up from Florida when she asked if i could call my mom and see when my shower was so she can book her flight. I called my mom and my mom goes who the hell knows, in a minute im going to take over the planning cause its getting crazy.

I proceed to call my best friend and one of my Bms who both tell me almost the same exact story about another BM being a major pain in the butt..Apparently she decide 2 months ago to be a BM in a wedding the weekend after mine and is crying that she is broke and doesnt know when she can commit to stuff because of this other wedding. I asked her to be in my wedding nearly a year ago, and i feel like this is very selfish. Just because you decided to be in 2 weeks 8 days apart is not my problem and you should not be acting like this towards my other 3 bms, my moma nd mil. Upon further investigation i found out from all of the above that they are very fed up with her


Now if you are still readin i love you lol...what would you do? i told them to out vote her, if 6 of them want one date and she is being a pain just do it anyway...should i talk to her?

Thank you!

---

Posted by Im getting Married

I would have everyone agree on a date and tell her if she fails to chip in then I would probably ask her if there is hardship. Is the other wedding a family member or hers (maybe she felt obligated to say yes).

---

No the other wedding is a friend of hers...Same as i am

She has been never been in a wedding before

However i should of noted this earlier....My mom and FMIL are going to pay for the whole shower they just want the girls to all agree on a date, then have then do the favors and games and stuff like that themselves

---

Posted by MrsKon1111

She has been never been in a wedding before

However i should of noted this earlier....My mom and FMIL are going to pay for the whole shower they just want the girls to all agree on a date, then have then do the favors and games and stuff like that themselves

---

Oh that is different I would definately talk to her about it. Does she know that is all they are responsible for (when it comes to the shower). There is no way that is going to cost that much

---

Posted by jgold910

Does she not want to make date commitments b/c she doesn't know when everything is happening for the other wedding? You should find out if this is the problem and tell her to buck up and make a decision for both parties!

---

Yeah she keeps saying that she has to check with the other wedding...and then wanted to know why they couldnt have the shower in may and my wedding isnt until november!

---

Posted by MrsKon1111

---

Posted by jgold910

Does she not want to make date commitments b/c she doesn't know when everything is happening for the other wedding? You should find out if this is the problem and tell her to buck up and make a decision for both parties!

---

Yeah she keeps saying that she has to check with the other wedding...and then wanted to know why they couldnt have the shower in may and my wedding isnt until november!

---

If the other wedding isnt talking about the shower yet then she should put all focus on yours!

---

Posted by Im getting Married

Then I go back to my original if they pick and date and she doesn't help out I would definately ask her about it.

---

This

Honestly, and as usual, I'll be blunt and not sure coat it...it depends on how important she is to you.

Obviously if she's a BM, she's important to u, buy the question is, is she important enough to put 6 people thru hell?

Case in point, my Bachelorette party was originally scheduled for the 2nd weekend in Aug, but it's my MOH's bday and her mom is taking her on a bday trip to Greece. Now, were this anyone else, I wouldn't give 2 $hits and just say 'sorry, guess you'll be missing out', BUT, because it's my MOH, and I can't imagine having my bachelorette party without her, we switched it to the following weekend.

So, ask yourself how important it is to you to have her in your BP, and let that give you some direction.

---

Posted by IrishAli

---

Posted by Im getting Married

Then I go back to my original if they pick and date and she doesn't help out I would definately ask her about it.

---

This

---

good idea!!!!!

---

Posted by Soon2bMrsB91511

Honestly, and as usual, I'll be blunt and not sure coat it...it depends on how important she is to you.

Obviously if she's a BM, she's important to u, buy the question is, is she important enough to put 6 people thru hell?

Case in point, my Bachelorette party was originally scheduled for the 2nd weekend in Aug, but it's my MOH's bday and her mom is taking her on a bday trip to Greece. Now, were this anyone else, I wouldn't give 2 $hits and just say 'sorry, guess you'll be missing out', BUT, because it's my MOH, and I can't imagine having my bachelorette party without her, we switched it to the following weekend.

So, ask yourself how important it is to you to have her in your BP, and let that give you some direction.

---

Lol...honestly i hard problems with her a couple years ago but things seemed fine but with this crap its showing me exactly why we had the problems years ago

i told everyone else involved to out vote her and if she is still a problem let me know so i can get involved