My FH and I both do not have siblings and are having trouble deciding on our wedding party, including Best Man and Maid of Honor. We are blessed with great friends but obviously they can't all be chosen! Any one have this predicament and was anyone slighted? We think there will probably be about 4-6 ushers and same for bridemaids.
I suggest that you go with your heart. Pick the ones that you know will still be there for you 10 years from now. Don't pick someone just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. If they are your true friends then they will understand. Maybe you could have some of the ones that you don't choose to be BM's do a reading or pass out your programs.
I know I would have been happy with having only 2 BM's but I wound up with 6 (and 7 groomsmen) and one of my friends will be doing a reading at the church. I thought having 6 would be too much but it has all worked out for the best.
Good luck with whatever you decide and do what makes you happy, this is your day.
Along the same lines as applesfla, I wanted to pick the people who were the most important to me. I ended up with 8 bridesmaids and I have no regrets. Its a big number, but when I envisioned my wedding, I knew I'd regret it if these girls (some family included) were not standing up there with me. Pick who`s important, and don`t worry about the numbers.
Good luck!
I feel for your issue. We are having 6 attendants partically because my fiance and I did not want to slight his closest friends. Even with six we still had to make decisions who to ask and who not to. Those we feel we have slighted we will try to find a way to make them involved (such as a reading).
My problem was with choosing a maid/matron of honor. Being I have no sisters and I did not want to MFSIL as my maid of honor, I had to choose between 2 close friends for that position in my wedding party. I have to say that, I feel like the one who wasn't chosen is slightly upset although she has not said anything to me. I feel like she has kind of been uninvolved with my plans and not too interested in the wedding (although she is in the bridal party). It is unfortunate but I do not regret my decision. I felt that the other girl was a little more deserving of the honor and would be there for me a little more. The person I have chosen as my maid of honor has been wonderful and I am happy with me decision.
Go with your heart and hoepfully you true friends respect and understand your decisions.
I have (8) bridemaids; my sister is my Maid of Honor, my best friend of 21 years is my Matron of Honor, both of Scott's sister, my SIL, 2 friend's and my best friend's 14 year daughter. There is not one that I could have imagined leaving out. I am blessed and I appreciate each of them so much.
One of my friends had only her cousins and best friend in the bridal party that way she was able to avoid hurting her friend's feelings if they were not asked.
You can also keep it very simple and only ask 2 girls. Usually if you keep it small people are less likely to get upset if they are left out.
But you should only pick those girls that will be in life in 15 years. I always feel bad when I see photos of friend's weddings and 1/2 the bridal party is long forgotten.
I agree -you should go with your gut feeling. I was in the same dilemna choosing between two close friends for my MOH. In the end the girl I did not pick as my MOH was fine with my decision. Although I was a little nervous to bring it up, I let her know after I decided that it was a difficult decision and she was still very important to me. I think she appreciated this on my part and if you communicate everything will work out OK
I have a dilemma as well. I knew who I would have in my wedding party even before I met my FH! One of my best friend's is married to my FH's best friend but we are no longer as close as we were 4 years ago. Ever since they got married his friends and family became her world and she shuts me out-bails all the time, doesn't call back when she says she will, never includes us in any plans... The best part is they live diagonal (literally) from my FH's family home and I see her every 5/6 months if that. The last time we all hung out was 3 weeks ago and that was b/c I brought it up to her that things are different and we needed to talk. We never did talk. So here we are now and I truly feel that she will not play the role that I want her to in my wedding. I miss her friendship but I don't want to look at my pictures one day and regret her being there b/c we are no longer as close as we once were. This has been the talk of me and my friends and FH for some time: Is she in or does she simply read?
HELP!!!!
If you havent been close for 4 years I would leave her out. Do you feel any preasure to have her in the party? Do you think she expects to be in the party?
My FH tells me that people will be wondering why she isn't part of the wedding party. But my take is I DON'T CARE about everyone elses opinion. I think she does expect to be included since I was in her wedding and so was my FH. So I am stumped. MY FH also says if she isn't in it then what does he do with her husband. This is a very difficult decision for me and I dont' want to dread my decision if she is in the party and our relationship doesn't grow stronger. It would be a waste of time for me. I don't want to settle to please her either.
