Brides Helping Brides ™ - African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

aliciahelene Posted: Jan 12, 2005 05:18 PM

African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Hi! My husband and I are adopting two boys from Ethiopia, ages 7 and 8. Ins ome of their pictures, their hair is short, in some pictures their hair is just a bit longer. Ive read until Im blue in the face about women's hair care, but I can find VERY little on how to care for an African boy's hair. I am extremely clueless where this is concerned and would love any and all advice that anyone can give to me. One of my girlfriends suggested Pink Oil Moisturizer if they wear their hair longer or Jam if its shorter..is this correct? We wont have them until may or June, but I want to know what the hell Im doing so that they look and feel good about themselves.
Are there any great websites that can tell me about men's hair care and different styles? Thanks so much!!!!

jozieb0925 Posted: Jan 13, 2005 11:24 AM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Posted by aliciahelene

Hi! My husband and I are adopting two boys from Ethiopia, ages 7 and 8. Ins ome of their pictures, their hair is short, in some pictures their hair is just a bit longer. Ive read until Im blue in the face about women's hair care, but I can find VERY little on how to care for an African boy's hair. I am extremely clueless where this is concerned and would love any and all advice that anyone can give to me. One of my girlfriends suggested Pink Oil Moisturizer if they wear their hair longer or Jam if its shorter..is this correct? We wont have them until may or June, but I want to know what the hell Im doing so that they look and feel good about themselves.
Are there any great websites that can tell me about men's hair care and different styles? Thanks so much!!!!

Why don't you try going to a Sally's Beauty supply store and ask the workers there? They sell lots of stuff for all kinds of hair types.

nov04LIbride Posted: Jan 13, 2005 11:27 AM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Why don't you wait til they arrive and take them shopping? They are more familiar with what the products they prefer to use, and might even take offense to coming home to a line up of products made for African Americans (I know they would be bought with the best intentions!).

aliciahelene Posted: Jan 13, 2005 12:25 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

well my problem is this, one boy has sores on his scalp from unssnitary conditions in his orphanage and they had to treat him and shave his head. There is also a huge possibility that they will comehome with lice. I am going to Ethiopia and will be spending two to three weeks there before I even bring them home. Depending on when I travel, they may come home and have to start school immediately. While I am there for three weeks, I will treat the lice, but as far as hair care..all I know is dont wash their hair daily. From my experiences, not everyone at Sallys is informative nor helpful, so I feel uncomfortable relying on them.
Online websites give conflicting info, some say comb their hair only once its dry, some say only when wet..I need someone who Knows and can tell me the truth.
If they do have to go straight to school they are facing possible teasing because they dont speak the language, etc. I want them to atleast feel good about themselves and not be teased because Ive made their hair a mess. the less I can give other children to tease them about the better. Taking care of themselves is not a luxury that they currently have, so I know they dont have brands or gels etc that they prefer..I need to find some good products to help them to try, to see if they like them. But Im not sure where to start..thats my dillemma!

MCDO15 Posted: Jan 13, 2005 12:29 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

FM

nov04LIbride Posted: Jan 13, 2005 12:31 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Oh, I am sorry, I thought it was more a cosmetic question. That's awful about the lice and sores.

aliciahelene Posted: Jan 13, 2005 01:22 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Dont apologize..I didnt really explain myself and I appreciate you offering me advice!!!
MCDO15..FM! Thanks!!

steph4777 Posted: Jan 13, 2005 01:50 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Definitely don't wash daily, maybe twice a week. MY DH uses Head and Shoulders for shampoo. He gets a hair cut every two weeks. He basically keeps it low all over his head (click on my profile to see DH's haircut). He uses a brush (one with black bristles and wood handle), you can get it at any drug store. If he goes more than two weeks without a haircut then he'll use a hair pick to comb through his hair. Pink oil moisturizer is fine for mosturizing the scalp, just don't use too much so their hair is not greasy. Use it only 2-3 times a week.

I would definitely have them see a dermatologist if they still have sores when you bring them home. You want to make sure that you don't use anything that will irritate their scalp.

FM me if you have any questions.

ETA: If you keep their hair low then they can brush it themselves dry or wet. Brushing daily will not damage their hair.

aliciahelene Posted: Jan 13, 2005 04:36 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Thank you sooooooo much!!!! I have been hearing about the pink oil moisturizer..can I buy this anywhere? Thats great to know to only use it 2-3 times per week..I thought I would do it daily!!! YIKES! See..this is why I need help..Id end up making my children look crazy and I dont want that! I want to help build up their self esteem. How about if they swim..anything recommended? Should tehir hair be washed immediately, or when they get home? Thank you for your advice!! the two week hair cut is great to know as well!!! Thanks so much!
CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy..I love your avatar!!!!!!!

aliciahelene Posted: Jan 13, 2005 04:37 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

I do have a specialist who deals with international adoptions who I will take them to immediately after we come home, they will treat them for the scalp conditions and parasites as well. Poor little boys!

palebride Posted: Jan 13, 2005 04:55 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Alicia - I have no idea about the hair....but I did want to tell you that I work in a Middle School, and there are a lot of children who come in from other countries....so I always thought there would be a large tendency towards teasing....but the kids are amazingly helpful and caring the majority of the time.
I have a young girl from Japan in my class....she has been in the US for about a year and a half (since last august). She is a truly hard worker and does very well and has learned an amazing amount since she came here...
But the point is this - just today, I was talking with two of my other students (who both happen to be in the popular crowd, and we all know they can be prety nasty). they were commenting on how brilliant this little japanese girl is and how in awe they are of her and all that she can do.

So children really can surprise you - and hopefully, your boys will be able to find children like my students when they go to school...

aliciahelene Posted: Jan 13, 2005 04:59 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Oh thats awesome!!! Thanks for sharing that! I guess one thing I am afirad of is that Ive been doing alot of research on transracial adoption, and sometimes the children get teased even because their parents are a different color, its terrible, but it happens. I hope and pray that my boys do go to school with nice loving children and that their adjustment isnt too hard on them. They are coming from no running water, no clean clothes to all of the amazing things we have here. I am nervous with anxiety, just want everything to be right. But thank you for sharing that nice story! It does make me feel better!

tourist Posted: Jan 13, 2005 05:04 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Alicia, as far as just general up-keep, ( not dermatological issues) how about checking with a salon or barbershop that caters to African American customers.

steph4777 Posted: Jan 13, 2005 05:25 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Posted by aliciahelene

Thank you sooooooo much!!!! I have been hearing about the pink oil moisturizer..can I buy this anywhere? Thats great to know to only use it 2-3 times per week..I thought I would do it daily!!! YIKES! See..this is why I need help..Id end up making my children look crazy and I dont want that! I want to help build up their self esteem. How about if they swim..anything recommended? Should tehir hair be washed immediately, or when they get home? Thank you for your advice!! the two week hair cut is great to know as well!!! Thanks so much!
CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy..I love your avatar!!!!!!!

Thanks!

You can buy pink oil moisturizer from any drug store in the 'ethnic' section. You can't miss it, it's a pink bottle with black lettering. You could use it daily but just make sure you don't use too much. If you plan to keep their hair low, then they won't have much hair to absorb it so that's why I suggested 2-3 times a week.

As far as swimming, they can wash/rinse out their hair when they take a shower at home.

It's easier than you think. I think the only thing you need to worry about is making sure the sores are healed. Everything else will come naturally.

nsgraham Posted: Jan 13, 2005 06:13 PM

Re: African Americans..I need hair help!!! PLEASE!

Congrats on doing this! I am so happy for you and your soon-to-be sons!

As for the hair, don't stress it too much. Find a good black barber and take them to him (or her) before their hair gets too long. Don't let it get tangled (nappy) - Run a comb or a brush though it most days. If it gets dry, put a little pink oil moisterizer or other stuff into it. Ask the barber, but I don't think black boys take that much upkeep. Black girls on the other hand...