AHHHHH I AM SO FRUSTRATED

Ok so TWO of our BP members are driving FH and I nuts about their 'date' situation. We made a rule in the beginning that no one was going to be invited with a date unless they are living with, engaged to, married or in a serious relationship with their date. Now one of my bridesmaids and one of our groomsmen are like well why can't we bring someone if we start dating them in the 2.5 months left! BECAUSE IT WON'T BE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!

Also FH and I don't even want people at our wedding that we don't know and they are in the BP! Shouldn't their priority be us and not their own dates! It should be said that my bridesmaid (best friend of 16 years) brought a GIRLFRIEND of hers, yes just a girl who is a friend to my Mother's wedding last November

So we have reason to be strict about this. They are both driving us nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok sorry, vent over! Thanks for listening (or reading lol)

I haven't decided my date policy yet, but I will let the BP bring dates because you want them to be comfortable and let me tell you it ***** to be alone at weddings, especially when you are in them.

My friend Amy just got married and she had a lot of people say no so she started allowing last minute people to bring dates on a case by case basis. Maybe see what your RSVP pool is like. If you have a lot of people not coming maybe make an exception for your BP.

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Posted by Cacarina

YOUR wedding, YOUR rules...plain and simple. Explain to them that people cost MONEY, and that you don't feel like paying for complete strangers to eat and drink for free.

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Exactly!

Thank you so much....they don't seem to be getting it. So I am trying to be nice and diplomatic and not start drama....hopefully my nice response works!

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Posted by MLAngelo

I haven't decided my date policy yet, but I will let the BP bring dates because you want them to be comfortable and let me tell you it ***** to be alone at weddings, especially when you are in them.

My friend Amy just got married and she had a lot of people say no so she started allowing last minute people to bring dates on a case by case basis. Maybe see what your RSVP pool is like. If you have a lot of people not coming maybe make an exception for your BP.

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That's true...I didn't think about that.

If you don't want them to bring dates, then you must be firm and tell them flat out 'no dates.' Tell them that that's your poilcy and you're not changing it.

However, I don't think you can say that they can't be in a 'serious' relationship in 2.5 months. I was in a 'serious' relationship with FH and knew he was 'the one' beginning with our first date. And if you ask him, he will also tell you that he knew the minute we met that we were going to be married and my parents only knew each other for 3 weeks before they got married! Sometimes the length of the relationship has nothing to do with the seriousness.

There is no reason for them to bring a guest if it's just someone that they can hang out with. I told FH that his cousin will find people to talk to because he's not the only one without a guest. His aunt emailed me asking if he could bring his girlfriend that he's been dating for a month ***!

Anyway, you choose what you want to do stand your ground JMO

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Posted by geegee827

If you don't want them to bring dates, then you must be firm and tell them flat out 'no dates.' Tell them that that's your poilcy and you're not changing it.

However, I don't think you can say that they can't be in a 'serious' relationship in 2.5 months. I was in a 'serious' relationship with FH and knew he was 'the one' beginning with our first date. And if you ask him, he will also tell you that he knew the minute we met that we were going to be married and my parents only knew each other for 3 weeks before they got married! Sometimes the length of the relationship has nothing to do with the seriousness.

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Oh I am sorry. I didn't mean to step on any toes...I was just frustrated and venting. I didn't mean any harm. I'm sorry.

no harm done at all I just was playing devil's advocate about what their responses may be.

I'm with you - you shouldn't have to invite anyone you don't want. Stay firm!

if you dont want randoms at your wedding stick to your guns. I had such a headache the few days before my wedding with all of my single friends and their 'dates' falling through. Who RSVP'd with a date and then had noone or who dated for a month and then werent speaking anymore.

I had to redo seating, change my final count a million times - pay for NO SHOWS

I didnt want to invite with dates to begin with but felt bad doing that so I let it be their choice. Almost every single one of my single friends RSVP'd +1 and didnt bring anyone

I think it's your decision ultimately but since they're special friends, enough to have been in the BP, you could make an exception for them and ONLY them. If any of your other friends or relatives ask, they're in the BP so they get a guest.

But I totally agree that if you don't want the drama, then it's your wedding and your money. You don't want to meet people for the first time at your wedding.

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Posted by LeeAnne

i am having a issue with a friend of mine (not in the BP). i do not want to invite her with a date bc she keeps saying that she is going to bring her sister!!!!!!!!! i dont even know her sister!

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See OMG that is so inconsiderate! I totally agree. The only issue with our Groomsman is that he is from Maryland so this random girl who he isn't even dating yet will be at our Bach/Bachelorette outing and our Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner and our Wedding. I just kind of think that is ballsy. I dunno. It's annoying.

I just don't get people! I was single for many, many years and if I was invited with a date to a wedding, I would either bring my date (but only if we actually had a relationship and he wasn't some random guy) or no one!!!!

Half the time, I wouldn't even bother bringing a date because sometimes it was more fun to go by myself and hang out with my friends than have some stranger that I had to babysit!

Who in their right minds thinks it's ok to bring their sibling who you don't even know??????!!!!!

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Posted by Cacarina

YOUR wedding, YOUR rules...plain and simple. Explain to them that people cost MONEY, and that you don't feel like paying for complete strangers to eat and drink for free.

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ita!!!!!!

I'm letting my BP bring dates, although 2 of them will probably be bringing ppl we don't know. I figure they are in my wedding so I don't want them to be alone and they get the privelege lol.

The rest of the guests I will probably be committing a faux pas, but whatever. I am just invited significant others of people that we have met before and that I know are in long term relationships (for example, a few of my friends bfs who I have know for a few years now).

In my opinion if the person is dating someone or not you should invite them with a guest. Every person we invite if they are single or dating will be able to bring a guest. I just feel it is the right thing to do. My fiancé was invited to a wedding last year and I wasn’t (it was a co-worker) and I was pissed! I thought it was rude and when I saw the couple at functions I no longer had a desire to talk to them.
Yes, the day is about you but your BP members are putting a lot of time and money into your wedding and they should be able to share your day with someone who they care about and is special to them.