Ladies! Though my love and I aren't 'officially' engaged YET we know without a shadow of a doubt that we're getting married. We've been together 3 years and have known for a year and a half now that we will be married. He has already spoken to my Mom about it and asked my Dad for my hand. We talk about what we want, where it's going to be (Riviera), who will be in the bridal party etc. I find myself getting impatient and frustrated waiting for 'the ring,' I'm always asking questions about it and getting a little annoyed about it. I pretty much have everything planned, it's just a matter of it becoming official. I'm curious how many others are in the same situation or were in the same situation at some point and how everything came together....any response is appreciated.
Lsorrent
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Re: Almost Most There, but Losing My Patience...
I was in that same situation. FH and I were together for 9 years before he proposed! My advice.....*try* to be patient. He wants to do it on his terms, not yours. And try not to pressure him too much. I know it's hard, but do your best. You don't always want that thought in your head that he only proposed because he was being pressured. Believe me, I've had that in my head before and it s*cks to think that. Just be patient and he will do it when he's ready.
nell1279
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Re: Almost Most There, but Losing My Patience...
Hang in there!!! I was with FH for 6 years before he proposed and he planned everything for a year before he finally asked me to marry him.
Is it for financial reasons? A big part of why it took us so long is because, let's face it, erings are expensive!!!
As long as you know that he wants to eventually marry you then I wouldn't stress too much even though I know how impatient you get waiting for it to become official.
Curious George
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Re: Almost Most There, but Losing My Patience...
Thank you ladies for responding. I definitely don't want him to feel pressured. Though money isn't really an issue I suppose he wants to do it in his own timing, which is understandable and I in a way I do want the same, but this and preliminary planning is almost all I think about these days and I guess I just want to get started. I just have to chill! It's nice to hear from others who understand where I'm coming from.....
rdubs
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
He is probably waiting for the right moment...that's what my FH did. I was super antsy, especially because we talked about getting married a lot! I'm sure it will happen soon and you'll forget that you were ever getting frustrated with him.
Bee12
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
I def agree with Lsorrent's post... Ive been with FH for 6yrs and they def hate the pressure... just be patient and enjoy being a couple... you know its in the bag!! just enjoy being in love and avoid wedding talk for a while ....
es2189
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
i was in the EXACT same position. fh and i have been together a long time (on and off for 11 years, but serious for 5)...and i knew he was about to ask. anyway, i bugged him so much that he finally just handed over the ring and said 'this is for you.' it wasn't the biggest deal, and he's not very romantic anyway so i couldn't actually imagine him doing anything elaborate...but still, i'm always gonna wonder 'what if i hadn't pushed him?' and feel a little sad when i read about other girls' really romantic proposals.
Im getting Married
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
I agree with the OP..I was bugging him about it..then stopped about 8 months before we asked because I never wanted to wonder if he asked b/c I 'made' him do it.
I know it's hard but hang in there
MrsInglima
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
That's what happened to us a little bit when we were first talking about getting engaged. Eventually I realized that DH couldn't afford to buy a ring, and he didn't have the credit to get it via any payment deal, or credit card, or whatever. So I suggested not getting a diamond (also partially because I picked out Tiffany earrings that I wanted and they were aquamarines), and within 2 weeks we got our ring.
Maybe you should just tell your FH that you're moving forward with plans since you basically are engaged anyway and you'll get the ring when you get it?
Also, I had a friend who's FH wouldn't propose to her because he was really nervous that even though they had talked about it she'd reject him (he's had family issues). Maybe your FH is just really nervous or afraid about what it means to be married? I'd talk to him about it, and see where it goes from there.
Panamasweet
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
You dont have to have a ring to plan your wedding. FH and I were together 8 years and we have a son together at the time we started planning. We have talked about getting married for a while but never serioulsy. I realized he couldnt really afford a ring at the time and I didnt want him to accumulate any more debt by financing it. We booked our wedding and started planning without an offical engagement. I still dont have my ring yet because now with me being unemployed he is taking care of everything for our family. I know he wants to get my ring out of the shop (hes been paying on it) and I would love to have it but I totally understand why he cant get it right now and I am totally ok with that. Still excited to be getting married.
I say speak to your FH and see is finances are the issue and dont pressure him.
Mommy2BeBride
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
Have patience!!
FH & I were together almost 5 years before he proposed and I was pressuring him everyday 'wheres my ring' blah blah and it got to the point where FH didnt even wanna get engaged anymore. but A few weeks later he finally proposed and I was so shocked and it was just such a great feeling. It was definetly worth the wait!!
Just my opinion, I would lay off pressuring him bcuz put yourself in his shoes and see how he feels! It kind of ***** and I am sorry I pressured my FH so much before I finally got my ring lol
But Good Luck & it will happen! Just give it time!
Curious George
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
Thanks ladies for all the insight! I don't want to pressure him it's just that I know he is very traditional and wants everything to be in order. The ring, the planning etc., but I just want to plan plan plan NOW (which is what I'm pretty much doing anyway, but not completely)! Hehe! Coincidentally, last night he was talking about the ring, jewelry store etc, so from here on out I'm just not going to say ANYTHING AT ALL about it because I want it to be a surprise and I don't want him to feel like I'm in control of when it happens, that's not fair. It's amazing how helpful you all have been because I really feel more relaxed and ease about just being patient.
jackieee
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
I was in that situation and I know it can be frustrating. I knew my FH had the ring in July. He didn't propose until Dec!!! He was waiting for the right moment, and there were a few times where his plans didn't work out. hahaha still it was like ok maybe today is the day??
Try to be patient. He's probably also waiting for the perfect moment. Good luck!!! Enjoy your time now. It will happen!!(HOPEFULLY SOON)
AngnShaun
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
Posted by Lsorrent
I was in that same situation. FH and I were together for 9 years before he proposed! My advice.....*try* to be patient. He wants to do it on his terms, not yours. And try not to pressure him too much. I know it's hard, but do your best. You don't always want that thought in your head that he only proposed because he was being pressured. Believe me, I've had that in my head before and it s*cks to think that. Just be patient and he will do it when he's ready.
ita
kshea23
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Member since
Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
if this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, then 'materialistic' things shouldn't matter. I would have been content with no ring at all; just the satisfaction of knowing that my FH loves me enough to make that commitment to me.
One of my bridesmaid's have been with her BF for 4 years. She has been pressuring him to propose for 2 years now. She threatens to leave him and move away if she doesn't get it by christmas/new years/valentines day/anniversay/birthday and every other holiday there is. He's at the point where he was planning on doing it AWHILEEEEEE ago, but because of her excessive nagging, he's just not into the idea anymore. It's sad because they're such a great couple together. I try to tell her to relax and drop the subject, but all she cares about is getting a ring.
Your BF will propose when he finds the right moment
Curious George
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Re: Almost There, but Losing My Patience...
Posted by kshea23
if this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, then 'materialistic' things shouldn't matter. I would have been content with no ring at all; just the satisfaction of knowing that my FH loves me enough to make that commitment to me.
One of my bridesmaid's have been with her BF for 4 years. She has been pressuring him to propose for 2 years now. She threatens to leave him and move away if she doesn't get it by christmas/new years/valentines day/anniversay/birthday and every other holiday there is. He's at the point where he was planning on doing it AWHILEEEEEE ago, but because of her excessive nagging, he's just not into the idea anymore. It's sad because they're such a great couple together. I try to tell her to relax and drop the subject, but all she cares about is getting a ring.
Your BF will propose when he finds the right moment
Yeah, good thing that's not my situation! It's not about material things, it's the fact that he's traditional and doesn't want to 'officially' start planning until he proposes with a ring. I think the same thing, that a ring is just that... a ring. It doesn't measure our love. I will spend the rest of my life with him regardless and he knows this. I'm just ready to be his wife for more reasons than one. We are practicing celibacy until we are married, which I think is a great thing, so that's one of the primary reasons I'm a hot under the collar! LoL! We're almost there and I know this in my heart, I just wanted to hear other people's similarities/differences.
FutureMcBride
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Re: Almost There, but...
just TRY to be patient, and your time will come!!!! I know exactly how you feel, I was in the same situation. We have been dating for 5 years, and we always talked about marriage and getting engaged. All that was missing was a ring. For awhile I didn't think that we were ready, but in the past year, I felt more ready than ever!! I was telling friends that I was ready, but didn't think that HE was!! I thought that it wouldn't happen for at least another year. Little did I know he had been saving for a ring and was waiting for the right moment. I was taken completely by surprise and am so happy about that. You never know what he's thinking, he might just be waiting for the right moment, or saving to buy you the perfect ring. He might also be waiting so that he can surprise you. Just try to hang in there, it will happen eventually!!
