am I a ...

... b!tch??

My mother has ALWAYS been very very generous with me and everything i could need (I'm NOT spoiled in the least, though!!)

Since my parents' divorce about 4 years ago, there has been drama about my wedding..... She wants my dad to pay etc.... Now she's saying that she can't pay anything (although I'm hearing that she wants to give us a VERY generous gift and not have it go towards the wedding but go to us)

This is so frustrating bc I don't think my dad can pay for the whole wedding and I know FH and I can't. My mom is now asking whenever we talk about wedding stuff if I've talked to my dad and how much he'll be able to do, and is wondering if FH has talked to his parents. If she's not paying, isn't it none of her business (in a nice way) who else is contributing what???

Also, she offered to come with me on Sunday to two more RHs that I have appts with!!!

Is this weird, or I am just a b!tch???

I have always wanted to plan my wedding with my mom, but she's making it SOOOOO hard and even more frustrating than it is already!!!!

TIA!!!

Why does she want your dad to pay since the divorce? Maybe she can't afford it?

I think you need to have a talk with your mom and dad and find out exactly how much they can contribute. Whatever that is, you're going to have to pay the rest. There is nothing else you can do. If your mom refuses to pay, you and FH are going to have to save and pay. Maybe push your day back to 2011 since you don't have a RH yet?

I'm sorry your mom is being difficult!

I think you need to get a straight answer about how much each can afford, so you know how much you and FH have to pay. Good luck! Ask if your mom can maybe pay for something. Dress, flowers, etc.

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Posted by jilliibabii

My mom isn't putting money toward the wedding (though she did buy my dress and cover the shower) but that doesn't mean that I don't plan with her or that I don't value her opinion. Of course, whoever is paying, I feel, should have final say, but that doesn't mean she can't help you. Just tell her not to worry about the financial aspect. But she's probably only asking out of motherly concern!

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ITA. If she can't afford it, I'm sure she still wants to be a part of the planning, and that is great! If she's not willing to pay though, you have final say in everything! That's a plus. :)

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Posted by jackieee

Why does she want your dad to pay since the divorce? Maybe she can't afford it?

I think you need to have a talk with your mom and dad and find out exactly how much they can contribute. Whatever that is, you're going to have to pay the rest. There is nothing else you can do. If your mom refuses to pay, you and FH are going to have to save and pay. Maybe push your day back to 2011 since you don't have a RH yet?

I'm sorry your mom is being difficult!

I think you need to get a straight answer about how much each can afford, so you know how much you and FH have to pay. Good luck! Ask if your mom can maybe pay for something. Dress, flowers, etc.

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I really agree with this. You need to find out who is contributing and how much. Regardless of who is paying you should try to include your parents. Its nice to keep them involved, even if they do not make final decisions, they are excited for you.

Thanks ladies. I did get a final answer of nothing and then a very bitter, very p!ssed off 'well, maybe i'll just pay $261 for the flowers like your father did for Ashlee's wedding!!!' (my dad did them himself back then for my sister, but doesn't have teh space now that he did then... that's why so cheap!!!)

anyway, It was a huge argument..... ended in tears and anxiety and everything...

I hate to say it, but I don't think it's because she honestly can't afford it. I think she could... at least something (insert selfish feelings here), but I really think it's more of a 'I paid for your sister's wedding, HE should pay for yours....' kind of thing... more about the divorce than about me... (he got a settlement in the divorce, which he thinks is peanuts, and she makes it out like it was EVERYTHING, sooooooooooooooooo... there's that too...

I feel like the financial stuff should be left out of conversations if she can't or won't pay for anything... I would be okay with it if she didn't ask with that TONE to her voice, you know????

I do want to plan with her, so I guess I will include her, but I just feel like it shouldn't be important to her where the money is coming from if she's not trying to help figure that part out, you know???

Maybe I am a b!tch!!!