Am I a horrible person? (vent and advice)

Ok I posted the other day about a BM who freaked out on me about her dress - well I spent most of last night trying to talk to her while she is cursing me out to my MOH and then telling me that it is not only ****ing too long it was also too ****ing expensive. Now mind you I paid for part of their dress already to make it the same price as an average BM dress. There was NO surprise in the final cost of the dress every girl was THERE when they were ordered and knew fully well how much it cost but she totally denies knowing. So last night she spent the evening telling me that the dress was garbage and should belong in the trash because since it was WAY to long it will look stupid when it is altered so my choice was ****ed up.

Then she proceeds to tell me that I have some nerve to ask her to buy a certain designer when I wasn't wearing that same designer so I should really be shot.

Well she tells me she has every right to be mad for being deceitful to her about the cost of the dress and eventually she will forgive me but for now she has every right to complain to me and I have to deal with it.

I copied everything that was said to my friend and to my MOH. -

I offered to pay for her dress and let her out since she was so miserable and I would understand and not be angery if it was too much of a burden for her. She told me there was NOTHING I could do to get rid of her she was staying and eventually she will get over it but for now she is mad and I will have to deal with it.

Well tonight another BM was talking to her online while I was there - and for the first part of the conversation she LIED to her about talking with me about the dress -etc. then she started opening up and telling her that it was my fault that planning the shower was going to be difficult b/c of where I live but that was something I was going to have to deal with NOT them - etc.

Well she finally got her to admit some feelings but still totally denied every saying anything to me. But in the meantime I found out that the girls are upset that my mother isn't paying for the shower and they see that as an insult to me that my mother isn't paying for a shower for her only daughter - well I keep trying to explain that my mom is old fashioned and goes by the book that a family member isn't supposed to throw the shower - so I now feel even worse hearing that they are upset about that cost.

So we can't get rid of this girl b/c she says she WON'T leave the bridal party for anything - my family is afraid if we throw her out she will show up at the wedding and make a scene - the other BM's want to kill her and plan on throwing her out.

So I'm at a total loss as to what to do - she seems like she is NOT right - she even told my BM that I tried to get her to leave but she wasn't going anywhere.

Also what is reasonable for me to expect my girls to pay? I'm buying them a shawl, and the difference in their dresses, and a gift as well. Is that too little to do for them?

This girl is lying to everyone - three people will ask her the same question and she will give 3 different answers - she told at least three people she was my MOH - now she is denying it, she told them she was planning the shower alone - now she is denying that. She told my BM tonight it is important for them to be verbal in their dislikes to me if there are issues - and that they should be honest that I am being a ***** and really what is the big deal it is only one day in my life and to ask them to buy a dress instead of just giving them a color and allowing them to buy a dress was just selfishness and they should all let me know that they are upset with me. Then she tells the girl don't tell her I said that.

The last time this girl caused a problem one BM told me she hoped this girl would get hit by a bus so she wouldn't make the wedding.

HELP they girls don't think she will leave the party without something completely drastic and physical

Pick up her dress- stop telling her any wedding plans. Do not let the girls tell her about your shower and tell her tough sh1t your out!!!

I don't know what hall you are at maybe they have security if not ask some of FH's friends to act as look outs in case she shows up and then have them escort her out!


I am sorry you are going through this!

I dont't understand why she wont leave Tell her you're out!!

I am so sorry you have to go through this

I would make sure that she is OUT! I'm sure you told her everything upfront and she just wants to be the center of attention or have everyone focusing on her because of her 'crying'. If she was honestly mad , she'd leave. But saying she'll get over it but has to right to complain means she wants to stay around and just be the center of attention. GRRRR I feel for you!

im sorry your going through this.. tell her your out of the party and dont care to speak to her again... she is too much of a headache to deal with, and certainly you dont need that on your day. perhaps there can be someone watching the door at the party if you think it is a concern..
im just curious.. how much are the BM paying towards the dresses...

I say she's OUTTA THERE. NO WAY I would want this girl standing up for me at my wedding.
You don't NEED a 'friend' like this

You should totally kick her @ss out of the bp! This is craziness. The bp is supposed to help take some of the stress and worries off of you - not be the cause of it!

i'm so sorry you have to go through this. i would not want someone like this in my bp. i would tell her she's out.

Okay, if I were you I would reimburse her for her dress, take it from her or if it hasn't been picked up yet, take it from the store and tell her she is OUT. She has NO CHOICE in the matter. Out, done, not invited to the wedding, and if she shows up, she will be physically removed from the premises. She is not happy for you, she is not cooperative - no one should say such terrible things!!! Don't be afraid of her -- she can't FORCE you to do anything, no matter what she says. If she starts harrassing you, go to the police. I know that's extreme, but she sounds like she's not exactly stable. Sorry you're going through this!

I am so mad reading this!!!!!

You are not a horrible person- she is.

Kick this beyatach out pronto!!!!!

I hope this does not sound harsh....

PLEASE DON'T LET THIS GIRL CONTINUE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND WALK ALL OVER YOU!!!!!
You have been generous enough!

She is OBVIOUSLY no friend of yours and the more I read the more rediculous the whole thing sounds....KICK HER BUTT OUT!!!!!!

You need to be firm and just tell her, no ifs ands or buts!

I can understand your apprehension, but this is your day and you need to do what is right for YOU!
Not, the BP, not your Mom, BUT YOU!!!!!

Good Luck!!!!!
ps - You are NOT a horrible person AT ALL!!!!

na na na na
na na na na
hey hey hey
Good Bye!

OMG!! I couldn't even finish reading your post. GET HER OUT OF YOUR BP NOW!!!!!!
I hope you cursed her out. She deserves it. I don't know what happened to her dress but get rid of it. Pay for the rest and keep it for yourself. Contact the salon and tell them you are the ONLY person to pick up that dress. Tell all your other BM's to stop talking to her about the wedding. NOTHING!! No shower, no anything. If she does ask them to LIE!! She lied so too bad if she is lied to.
Who the hell does she think she is??? Do NOT be in fear of this trash!!! Forewarn everyone that if she is anywhere near your wedding, ceremony anything to have her escorted out!!

Where do you think you are horrible? NOT AT ALL!! The horrible person in this situation is this beatch trying to get over on you. Drop this trash to the curb. Sorry if I am being harsh. But you nor anyone deserves this. And she is your friend? Get rid of her forever!!
Hugs to you hon.

I can't believe she is acting this way. I feel so bad for you. I agree with all the other posters: GET RID OF HER!!!!! This is YOUR wedding!! You should be happy on your day, not miserable. Please keep us posted on what is going on.