am i being a brat?

ok - so last night my FMIL approached me about a friend of hers that was invited to the wedding - and still didnt respond! (responses were due last week)

she is now living in florida and was going to come up to NY for my wedding with her daughter - except the daughters bouyfriend will be driving with them so can he come too?
my inital reaction was NO WAY!! i have had enough of people just inviting themselves to my wedding!! both our families have been UNBELIEVABLE!! 'hope im not imposing but we would love to come' is a phrase that will forever haunt me.

part of me is saying - NO WAY. the boyfriend was also from NY, his parents still live here, he has friends here - its not like he will be alone in a hotel room by himself.
but another part of me feels like - what is one more person?

ADVICE PLEASE!

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Posted by mtdr1106

ok - so last night my FMIL approached me about a friend of hers that was invited to the wedding - and still didnt respond! (responses were due last week)

she is now living in florida and was going to come up to NY for my wedding with her daughter - except the daughters bouyfriend will be driving with them so can he come too?
my inital reaction was NO WAY!! i have had enough of people just inviting themselves to my wedding!! both our families have been UNBELIEVABLE!! 'hope im not imposing but we would love to come' is a phrase that will forever haunt me.

part of me is saying - NO WAY. the boyfriend was also from NY, his parents still live here, he has friends here - its not like he will be alone in a hotel room by himself.
but another part of me feels like - what is one more person?

ADVICE PLEASE!

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HE L L no-sorry
part of me feels like-why didnt they respond sooner if she wants to come so badly u know?

ppl are just plain RUDE to invite themselves, their friggin kids, their boyfriends/girlfriends, some guy named charlie they had a crush on in the 3rd grade.....

its just ridiculous!
the boyfriend can hang out w/his family here

what a cm

hmm - i'm also going through this right now so i'm familiar with 'would it be okay if john doe's two-week girlfriend comes?'. i have been saying no, either myself directly or via my mom (seems that most of these people are my mom's friends - spanish people think a wedding is a big ole party and the more the merrier, but they are not paying per head). honestly, we have not yet had a problem. we've been firm, but very nice about it and the people understand and say okay.

especially if you say he knows a lot of people here and is from here originally, i'm sure he wouldn't mind catching up with some friends/family.

That would seriously pizz me off.

But I'll say this - on that day, you won't give a crap about anything else except for you and DH and having a good time. It'll be a blur, you'll barely remember who you talked to; basically I'm saying that another random isn't going to matter.

HOWEVER, there's no reason for this random to be at your wedding. And if everyone's been giving you a hard time and treating your wedding like a free for all then be firm and say no. If FMIL insists, tell her to pay for all three of them since they are her guests who couldn't respect the RSVP date.


Would it cause a fight and is it worth it?

Okay-so by getting emails from you at least 3 times about people that invited themselves and caused you aggrivation & stress I am going to say NO EFFING WAY....enough is enough & you have to draw the line somewhere.

Yes it is only one more person, but how many times are you going to say that. Besides the fact that this woman didn't respond yet, it is just BS. She wants the boyfriend to come because it is convenient for her.

NO NO NO NO!!!!

you are not being a brat....it's a tough one...that you should make your FH deal with..you don't want to be the one to tell fmil no...have him do it..because then she will resent you...

i told FMIL no for a few people and in the end i did get a lot of no's that i did not expect..and i know she probably feels they could have been invited.

you are not being a brat at all. i'm dealing with this as well and it's really frustrating. i'm ready for it to be here already!!!

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

Would it cause a fight and is it worth it?

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I would have to agree with this - would it cause a fight and is it worth it?

I would say no to inviting both the daughter and her bf if they were not originally invited (especially that he has people here he knows and can hang out with), but if this is going to cause tension and problems that you don't need between you and FMIL, I might give in. But let her know your reasoning, that he has family and friends here that he can visit. It is not like they will be sitting by themselves in a hotel room.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

That would seriously pizz me off.

But I'll say this - on that day, you won't give a crap about anything else except for you and DH and having a good time. It'll be a blur, you'll barely remember who you talked to; basically I'm saying that another random isn't going to matter.

HOWEVER, there's no reason for this random to be at your wedding. And if everyone's been giving you a hard time and treating your wedding like a free for all then be firm and say no. If FMIL insists, tell her to pay for all three of them since they are her guests who couldn't respect the RSVP date.


Would it cause a fight and is it worth it?

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i don think it would cause a fight. and she presented this to both of us last night and i was all NO NO NO and than changed my mind later on and started to feel bad. so she is the one who told me to think about it and get back to her.

BUT THINKINGS OVER - go with your original gut feeling - isnt that what they always say?

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Posted by mtdr1106

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

That would seriously pizz me off.

But I'll say this - on that day, you won't give a crap about anything else except for you and DH and having a good time. It'll be a blur, you'll barely remember who you talked to; basically I'm saying that another random isn't going to matter.

HOWEVER, there's no reason for this random to be at your wedding. And if everyone's been giving you a hard time and treating your wedding like a free for all then be firm and say no. If FMIL insists, tell her to pay for all three of them since they are her guests who couldn't respect the RSVP date.


Would it cause a fight and is it worth it?

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i don think it would cause a fight. and she presented this to both of us last night and i was all NO NO NO and than changed my mind later on and started to feel bad. so she is the one who told me to think about it and get back to her.

BUT THINKINGS OVER - go with your original gut feeling - isnt that what they always say?

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Then there you go - just say no!

ps - you are NOT bridezilla

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Posted by JazzyT

Whats one more person thats one more plate and if you think like that you'll be forever adding people..you must draw the line somewhere

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exactly!!!

I am all for the path of least resistance. If it makes things easier - let him come. I wouldn't make it a huge issue...


JMHO

Ugh, such a brat you are!

No, I can see that you feel a little badly but like someone else said, you add one more here and there and you end up having every person you've met in your lifetime there w/their entire families, etc. Sick to your guns, woman. If he was going to be here alone the entire day then I'd say alright just let him come but he has his family and friends he can spend the day with.

Why do people feel the need to annoy us like this?

that would have pissed me off when iw as getting married, BUT yes here is a BUT... think of it this way, MORE MONEY!!!

trust me so many things stressed me out b4 my wedding and now that it is over and looking back, it was so minor, i say let him go more money for you! he is taking the trip up for the 2 guests to be here ya know..,

on the flip side, if it was your family would it be different? i would be for me.... it is so hard having another family, but try not to have turmoil right before you are a part of his family

FM me if you want to....... i know how stressed it could be right b4 i was a wreck! trust me, my fsil now sil was a total B***ch!