Am I being a brat (long)

So here is the story. My FH has a friend who is a STRUGGLING make up artist. FH asked if she could do my make up last year and she said she would love too.

Since I am on a budget, I thought great! As a thank you we will invite her to our wedding, and I will offer to pay for her gas, and if she does a great job I will recommend her on this site and to my friends and I work in the Entertainment industry as does FH, so we can get her portfolio out to some producers.

So out of courtesy, FH sends her a message and thanks her for the trial she did on me, and asks how much she would like for her services. Keep in mind she knows she is invited to the wedding.

She writes back she wants $100, plus $50 dollars each additional person, and gas money.

There is NO WAY I am paying that much for my make up if I am also inviting her to the wedding. If she was not invited, I would have no problem with it. I honestly thought she was going to say it was a wedding gift and just charge my BM's. And then I would offer her the gas money.

So now I have to figure out how to politely say I am not going to use her for my make up artist, because I am not going to uninvite her. Any suggestions?

Am I over reacting? I don't want to be a brat.

I say just use her....she is pretty cheap! Anyone else is going to cost more than that! If she comes to the wedding wont she give a gift????

I just think nothing is free these days...she needs to make something! But that is just my thought for the day! I dont know her or her financial sitation or her relationship with your FH. What does he say about firing her?

That's tough.... if she's a struggling makeup artist she might need the money.

However, you could pay someone else to do it for not much more than that.

I don't really know what to tell you.

Things get really messy when friends/family are involved. FH's grandma offered to make my dress (she made her daughters dresses and their BM dresses back in the day) -- I thanked her but declined. I knew it was just asking for trouble -- I am very picky and I wouldn't be able to be honest if I didn't like how it came out. Also, his grandma lives in a small town (population 1000) about 5 hours away so it wouldn't be practical anyway.

Surprisingly he agrees with me. Since they are pretty good friends, he was surprised by her response. Especially since we offered to help her get future work on productions and possibly an apprenticeship.

I guess the other part is that I was not overly happy with the trial, but I was willing to just go with the flow because I thought I was sort of doing a favor exchange.

Uh! I hate feeling like I am being a brat.

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Posted by Violet19

Surprisingly he agrees with me. Since they are pretty good friends, he was surprised by her response. Especially since we offered to help her get future work on productions and possibly an apprenticeship.

I guess the other part is that I was not overly happy with the trial, but I was willing to just go with the flow because I thought I was sort of doing a favor exchange.

Uh! I hate feeling like I am being a brat.

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if you didnt love your trial, this could be a blessing in disguise.

What if you tell her you put a lot of thought into it and think it will be easier logistically to have 2 makeup artists -- one for you and maybe MOH, and one for the BMs. Then you can say you'd like her to do your BMs and you found someone else who can do you.

If she asks why you can't do the reverse, you can say that she had the best price for BMs so it is saving your girls money.

To be honest with you you are NOT being a brat. If you really like the work she does that is one thing but if you were going to settle with using her since she is FH's friend then that is a totally different story. Get quotes from other people and see what you find.
Good luck

OK different story. Are you willing to go for a trial elsewhere? And pay for it and pay more $$ day of? If your answer is yes to those questions...then go with someone else! She'll get over it! You can just tell her you found someone more in your price range...or another friend...or I dont know!

Also did she charge you for the trial?

it kind of works itself out?
you pay her $100 for your make-up and then she comes to your wedding and gives you a gift of maybe $100..

but then again you are paying for her plate.. so idk

honestly, i think it all depends on how satisfied you were with her trial..

No she did not charge me for the trial. This is probably a dumb question, but do you normally get charged for a trial?

We did buy her lunch though, does that count?

I haven't found a make-up artist that charges $100 for the day of as yet, I think that's a steal price. JMO
I'm paying $250.00 just to have my make-up done on the day of my wedding.

If you feel that you can't afford her, I say look elsewhere, but I'm not sure if you're going to find anything cheaper than that. If you're not in love with the way she did your make-up, then just let her go w/out feeling guilty

...Also

trials aren't free. They range between $40 to $80 dollars, which on top you sometimes provide tipping.

The only trials that I know to be free are the ones that you have to guarantee you're going to be using them on the day of your wedding, or will have a certain amount of girls to have their make up done

First off, that is ridiculous! $100!!!! and you are using her as a favor! you could have went to a salon and paid less then that. I am getting my make-up done for $60 at a really nice salon. Now please don't take offense to this I was just wondering, does she want to be invited to the wedding? I don't understand how that should be 'good enough.' Won't she have to bring a gift? Then she will be actually be spending money for doing your make-up not receiving money? Are you telling her she doesn't have to bring a gift? Regardless, I agree with you $100 is too much to ask from a 'friend' who is going to help you out by getting your name 'out there' and possibly get you more jobs!


PS after reading the other responses, I think my make-up is cheaper because I am actually going to the salon, not having someone come to me. You have to be willing to do that. Maybe the $100 isn't bad... I am no good at this game! I have no idea what make-up costs!

My make up artist charged $75 for the trial and the same for the day of for me. We did tip. For both. Less for my girls (no trial). She was one of the make-up artists at the salon that I go to.

I agree with above. Hopefully, she will get you a nice gift to make up for her fee.

If you are thinking about someone else..tell her you will still help her out, but you think your friendship will get in the way & you'd be too nervous of the day of...tell her you are afraid of being 'bridezilla-y' and altering her friendship.

That's it.

I never take care of people who I know.

First off, that is ridiculous! $100!!!! and you are using her as a favor! you could have went to a salon and paid less then that. I am getting my make-up done for $60 at a really nice salon. Now please don't take offense to this I was just wondering, does she want to be invited to the wedding? I don't understand how that should be 'good enough.' Won't she have to bring a gift? Then she will be actually be spending money for doing your make-up not receiving money? Are you telling her she doesn't have to bring a gift? Regardless, I agree with you $100 is too much to ask from a 'friend' who is going to help you out by getting your name 'out there' and possibly get you more jobs!

NO offense taken I sort of figured, and it was wrong for me to assume, that the make up would have been my (our) gift. Not that I should expect gifts. As for wanting to be invited to the wedding, I honestly have no idea. My FH and her have been friends since they were teenagers, and a lot of the people who are invited to the wedding are her friends from way back in the day, and we thought she would like to see everyone. IF she were not doing the make up, we were not going to invite her. But FH felt strange asking her to do the make up and not inviting her.

I feel like I am in a no win situation. And I know that FH opened a can of worms asking, I just felt so strange not asking.

I hear you... That is a tough situation. But honestly you have to LOVE your make-up so if that is not the case find someone else.. Good luck..

As a makeup artist this is my opinion:

Is $100 alot for the BRIDE's makeup on her big day? no.

is $100 alot for the bride's makeup who is a very close friend on her big day?? in my opinion ABSOLUTELY.

now remember this is just my opinion. I do bridal makeup and $100 is pretty standard for the brides these days... i actually paid $150 to get mine done. I will say that i almost ALWAYS give friends a decent break...i almost cut the price in half. Now, not everyone is like this...which is why i NEVER set expectations..friends, family, or not. this isn't meant in a harsh way at all - but u can't just assume she'd do it for free. i've NEVER done anyone for absolutely nothing. I do think it's tacky for her to ask u for $100 plus gas money...that's just silly....She's getting paid for a reason lol. also, some artists are just strict with their pricing because they feel if they give one person a break, then they have to give everyone a break..My cousin is like this because a large portion of her clientel is family & friends...so she says if she gave everyone a break she'd never really make any money lol...also, u said she's struggling - so maybe she just really needs the money??? struggling or not, if ur FH is as close to her as u say he is, i do think it's a little much.

NOW, if u weren't crazy about the trial, then that's a WHOOOLLE 'nother story... know that u'll go elsewhere and probably pay around the same - but it's ur wedding day - SO U WANT TO LOVE THE WAY U LOOK! do not settle because she's a friend & u want to do her a favor. U want to feel the most beautiful u've ever looked! go for different trials(which yes, u do pay for - i paid $85 for the amazing artist that i ended up booking), and simply tell her u've gone with someone else.