Am i being a bridezilla?

Ok heres my story ( a little long) I am only having two MOH's my sis and my best friend. my sister is teacher just like me and she is alos in charge at her school of all senior stuff like prom, gradation etc. So she tells my mom that she is having my shower at the end of June ( 7/30 is my wedding) b/c she is going to be busy with work until then. Now I don’t know if I should be annoyed that she is putting hers students ahead of me or if she truly feels she cant give her all until then and wants her full attention devoted to my shower but nevertheless…
My fh and I (although I know we are not to be involved in the shower but.) feel that to have a shower late June and then 4 weeks later ask for another gift at the wedding is a bit much. Also its two weekends in the summer that you are sking people to give up( i know if they want to be there they wll but still)
People have plans and other parties to go to especially in June I don’t want to not have anybody at my shower either b/c its an inconvient time ya know? Now my questions are
1) Am I being a bridezilla for not really wanting my shower 4 weeks from my wedding should I just mind my business?
2) Do you think I should be annoyed at my sister at all?

My solution by the way is this.. Sunday we are going dress shopping so I am going to give my sister a list of people for my shower and say listen these are some dates that my shower CAN NOT be b/c I have other things (weddings and showers of my own to go to) and I am just not going to have any June dates (except for 1st weekend) im going to say I have plans every other weekend which is really not a lie. One weekend I have two weddings and one weekend I have a christening (future niece or nephew of my other MOH) who by the way is with me all the way on this its my sis not my best friend who is making this an issue.

OPINIONS PLEASE

JMO - I don't think your sis is putting her students ahead of you - i think she is planning ahead to make sure she is going to have all her time and energy to devote to planning a great shower for you!! I don't think that there is any right time or wrong time for the shower - i've heard of people having it 4 weeks ahead of time - I am getting married the same weekend as you and who knows when mine will be! For all I know - it could be a week before when my mom and family comes in from out of state!
Honestly - I think she is going to do a great job no matter when it is and we should all be excited to have showers!

I don't think 4 weeks before the wedding is a big deal at all. My cousin had her shower 2 weeks before her wedding and no one complained at all. I'm not saying you are being a bridezilla, but I don't think 4 weeks is that bad. I think that if she had to do it at the same time she had so many other things going on she might be overwhelmed and your shower might suffer for it. People will be expecting your shower regardless of whether it is 4 weeks or 8 weeks before the wedding so they should be available to come.

I wouldn't give her the list with anything untrue on it in order to force her into doing the shower when it may be most inconvenient for her but most convenient for you....JMO.

No i am not making it up I Really have weddings on 6/11 and 6/12 and the next weekend I have teh christening (related to my other MOH) so teh only other weekdns are teh 1st weekend in June and teh last weekend in June. The other MOH ( my freind) really doesnt want it the last weekdn in JUne so that not an issue really. Again ia m not saying this to be controlling or selfish i am thinking of everyone else honestly. i knwo its sounds nuts but my FH and I CONSIDERED everyoen during this whoel process. The day, the time of year ( although it couldnt be helped i am a teacher), teh time of teh ceremony etc.
Thanks for your opinions i relly appreciate it.

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Posted by JimmysBride

People will be expecting your shower regardless of whether it is 4 weeks or 8 weeks before the wedding so they should be available to come.

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That's exactly what I was going to say. Whether the shower is two months before the wedding, or two days, the guests know it is coming, and will know that they have to buy a gift. Regardless of when the shower is, you're still asking for a gift. I don't think having the shower closer to the wedding puts any more financial strain on the guests.

I don't think you sound bridezilla, just concerned. I think your sister is looking out for you though. If you're both teachers, she probably wants it to be at a time where you won't be bogged down with work, and when she can devote all of her time to the shower. Are you willing to not know when the shower is going to be? Maybe if you don't know the date, you won't stress about it so much.

i think its a little close having it at the end of june... thats also when there are alot of graduation parties and stuff..

maybe it can be earlier have her have help planning it from your mother or other friendS?

I definitely see where you're coming from.
And when I said that maybe if you didn't know the date, you wouldn't stress, I meant that if they changed the date, it may be better for you not to know. It would definitely be a little hard to forget now. lol.

Sorry Somedaybride, my mind is in a fog with all this stuff LOL I understand now

My shower was less than a month before my wedding!! My sis was my MOH.. the only MOH... None of MY friends or DH's friends were invited.. My mothers very old and VERY cheap friends were there. I didnt even want them at my wedding never mind the shower! THEN I was not going to have a bachelorette party, because my sis couldnt find time to arrange it ( she owned a buisness and was in the process of selling her shares) I PLANNED MY OWN BACHELORETTE PARTY the week before my wedding!!!!! Ugh,.... I was really hurt by that, and thats when I became bridezilla! My cousin (one of my BMs even made me a 'Bridezilla' doll from the Godzilla Beanie baby!)... I understand that you are a little upset... But if its TRULY bothering you, TELL her -- Shes your sister.. thats the one and only thing I regret about my wedding, was that I didnt tell her that I felt like she wasn't as happy for me as I felt she should.

Then again, it could have started WWIII!!!!!

Just to put into persepctive...your sister is throwing you a party, which I think is very nice and caring. Regardless of whether it's tradition or not, she doens't really have to do it. I think it's smart of her to put it off until she really has time to do it right.

You should be thanking her, not complaining.

Ok I am not complaining all i am saying is I think its alot to ask people to do a shower and then a few weeks later a wedding ESPECIALLY in teh summer time thast all. i think this is being taken as me complaingng and I am not.
If anythign I am being concerned abotu my guests thats all.
But neverthe less i do appreciate all teh input weather you agree or disagree i wouldnt have posted if i didnt want al opinions but to accuse me of complainging is wrong.
JMO

I don't think you're complaining.. you're upset.

My take is this.

Guests that go to your shower are not actually ALL the same guests who go to the wedding. If they meant to go to your shower and your wedding AND bring gifts to both then they knew that already, the date makes no difference. The only people who it may affect are those who buy last minute.

I've got people who want to buy off my registry this year and mail it to me, I had to ask them to wait until at LEAST next year.. I have no space for the stuff!! Our first choice for best man (who may not come now) has already BOUGHT stuff from our registry.

We will have no shower, no bach parties but no one actually knows that. (come to think of it, I may want to say that at one point).

I think it sounds like your sister is trying. I think it's better that she's going to give all her attention to your shower, not try to 'fit it in'. There's a bonus.

I just think.. .... You're getting MARRIED!!!
Be happy. Everyone goes through this wacky point and sometimes it's the shower, for others its RSVP's or prehaps who did what at the bach parties. The point is.. things happen. The imporant part is you'll be married at the end.

I really don't care if NO ONE buys me a thing. Not one single item. The people I invite to my wedding are there because I want them to enjoy the moment with me. Gifts are great and most of what we registered for is VERY useful, but I'm not going to be disappointed, annoyed or sad if I don't get gifts.

I do however completely understand how this can upset you if you're trying to think about the guests. You’re never going to make everyone happy. Some may find your wedding date to be at a bad time. Don’t worry so much about them. If they care enough, they’ll probably all be thinking of you and hoping you aren’t stressing!!

Just my $.02