Am I being insensitive? ir is she being unfair? BM ISSUE

I told my girls in December that I was thinking of going BM dress shopping on January 28th and if they could not make it, I would work out some logistics. I wanted us all to go together bc most of my girls live out of state and we are all very diff shapes and sizes, so I just didnt want to pick a dress and say deal with it.

Okay, so I have 6 bridesmaids, 3 live about 4-5 hours away. On in PA, one in CT, and one in Boston. Two of my bridesmaids had to take off of work. I just got a call from my best friend who live in LI and she was like 'can you change this to sunday, I have a bridal show to go to that I am in the wedding for'
I think I gave everyone ample time and I am not changing to the date. how did she NOT know when a shower SHE was planning was.
She did this to me before too. When I told her a month in advance that I was taking a day off to go looking for my dress, she was like sure! And she never came with me, I bought it and then found out she went to VT.

I am so mad

JMO - i just think that she is being extremely unfair to your other BMs. I'd go without her but politely explain you can't reschedule b/c the out of town girls had to take time off from work to be there! also there was sufficient notice, its not like you called the day before. I'd go back with her on Sunday but she needs to understand majority rules.

just go without her..whatever u girlsp ick thats it and i am sure she wont complain about it..


the less people there the better imho..

too many opinions can be confusing..

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Posted by JXNOscar

I told my girls in December that I was thinking of going BM dress shopping on January 28th and if they could not make it, I would work out some logistics. I wanted us all to go together bc most of my girls live out of state and we are all very diff shapes and sizes, so I just didnt want to pick a dress and say deal with it.

Okay, so I have 6 bridesmaids, 3 live about 4-5 hours away. On in PA, one in CT, and one in Boston. Two of my bridesmaids had to take off of work. I just got a call from my best friend who live in LI and she was like 'can you change this to sunday, I have a bridal show to go to that I am in the wedding for'
I think I gave everyone ample time and I am not changing to the date. how did she NOT know when a shower SHE was planning was.
She did this to me before too. When I told her a month in advance that I was taking a day off to go looking for my dress, she was like sure! And she never came with me, I bought it and then found out she went to VT.

I am so mad

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Go w/ out her.. I had the same problem.. I ahd 10 girls 7 went when they were supposed too the other 2 decided not to go.. one because she had a really busy schedule she just ordered it.. so alls you can say is whatever.. don't stress it..

Just go without her. I'd ask her if she still wants to do it. (Maybe it's her way to not be a BM) It seems a bit odd that she is so non-chalant about it. Maybe she isn't into dress shopping and wants you to pick it. (I know I don't care about shopping, but I care about my friends) It could be she doesn't care about this part, but cares about the rest of the details. I'd ask her.

None of my BM went with me. I gave them dresses to pick from, with pics on the internet. They are all OOT. The dresses are fine!

you need to keep the date... if you most, you should be alright.... many of the dresses are A line so they should be alright.. just take her later...
but your right... she is acting like a nit wit....

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Posted by Mystere

JMO - i just think that she is being extremely unfair to your other BMs. I'd go without her but politely explain you can't reschedule b/c the out of town girls had to take time off from work to be there! also there was sufficient notice, its not like you called the day before. I'd go back with her on Sunday but she needs to understand majority rules.

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i agree.....and honestly - don't go out of your way to take her on Sunday if it's not convenient for you. Take her when it's good for your schedule

Thanks everyone,
the best part is she gave me an attitude when I refused to change the day on account of her.
Sure let me tell 6 other people to rearrange their plans for you. I do not think so.
urgh

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Posted by TheBigDay

I think you gave her enough time, and I know she has a valid reason 'this' time... i dont think what she is requesting is fair at to your out of town brides maids. If she doesn't like the dress you pick out then that is what she gets for for being irresponsible for not telling you in a timely manner... maybe you two can go another time before hand to know what she doesn't like, makes it a little more unfair for you, but atleast fair to the other girls to not go changing their plans..

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Trust ME
She will not like ANY dress I choose. She is in fashion and thinks the rest of the world is delinquent

Whatever I am not gong to let this ruin my weekend. She will wear whatever we choose.

Go without her....and if she complains about the dress..then that is too bad..that really stinks..people are soooooo rude

i don't think you're being insensitive at all! You gave ample time for everyone to check their schedules and get back to you. This is not something that you could easily change since some of your BM's are from out of state & took off from work for this. I think if you did change it to suit the needs of this one girl, then you would be insensitive to the other girls. Just go without her. Maybe you can have the other girls try on dresses and pick some top faves, then maybe she can go with you on another day and try on those 'top faves'.

Don't change your plans for one person who didnt' meet the deadline and notify you and dont' spend all your energy stressing over this or getting mad!

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Posted by Preshy7

just go without her..whatever u girlsp ick thats it and i am sure she wont complain about it..


the less people there the better imho..

too many opinions can be confusing..

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I agree. The fewer BMs there, the better. With everyone there, at least one of them probably won't like the dresses you like.

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Posted by BHW

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Posted by Preshy7

just go without her..whatever u girlsp ick thats it and i am sure she wont complain about it..


the less people there the better imho..

too many opinions can be confusing..

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I agree. The fewer BMs there, the better. With everyone there, at least one of them probably won't like the dresses you like.

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This is sooo true! I started out just with my MOH and then went one by one with my cousin and then my brothers GF