Not a single person from FH's family has asked about the wedding - the planning or anything! I mean I would at least expect his mom to ask but she hasn't. I was going to ask her to come along to the final dress selection but I decided against it since she has never even asked about the dress. I know we have a while until we're getting married but we've been doing so much and I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive over this.
What do you think?
pinkgirl
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I think you are just being too sensitive. Your wedding is very far away but when it gets closer they will.
nylisa
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
Don't feel bad. I have the same problem. None of FI's family has asked about anything not even his parents. It is like they do not want to be bothered. We used to fight about it but now I just let it go and figure that if they do not want to know about anything then you have no say on anything.
diamondgrlie
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I am a sensitive person but I think that in this instance, it sounds strange to me. My future in-laws are being very casual about it all too. Helpful, but way too casual. Maybe they need more time to adjust to the idea? I dont know your exact situation but I am just brainstorming. I guess look on the bright side for now and say to yourself that they could be saying bad things. Hang in there!
september2004
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
it totally depends on personality types. i try not to talk about the wedding outside conversations with FH, mom and this forum because i find people really aren't that interested...
like pinkgirl said, the date is far away and as time gets closer maybe more people will ask and get involved.
however, if YOU want her to come with you why don't YOU just ask? it shows her that you value her opinion and want to include her. maybe she feels like she doesn't want to come off pushy?
who knows, open the lines of communication and you may find out!
ChristineC68
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I am still waiting for my In laws to say congratulations for getting married
Maybe they may think since the wedding is far off that you aren't doing too much. I would still invite her to come to see the dress when you are ready to order it.
kathy2176
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I wouldn't worry. Wait until this October and you will be sorry you ever asked for it! We went through the same thing. We have been engaged for two years and nobody really asked anything because it was too soon to think about it. Once we hit the one year mark and less, that is all everyone wants to know about...
mrswask
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
It seems to me that my future in laws - esp MIL coudn't care less. She is not the warmest of people. It still bothers me, but I can't waste energy on it anymore - I have to concentrate on enjoying this time with people who are excited for me!
NYCHICK
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
What is your relationship with them like? I would say the fact that it is that far away could be a factor.
Lorena
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
My own family doesn't ask much about the wedding! They feel like it is so far off that it's silly to talk about it yet. I have found that the older people especially don't realize that today NY weddings are often planned very far in advance. Your inlaws may not realize that you have done so much planning already or they might think it's silly that you have. (I'm not saying that it is - I don't think it is.) My guess is they will come around as the date gets closer. At least I'm hoping that for myself!
brideinapril
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I have the same issues, my future mil shows no interest in any of the wedding planning. My mom threw my shower for me, she didn't help her at all, and came and left like a regular guest. She hasn't even looked for a dress yet. She thinks she has plenty of time. Hello?? Its a month and a half away!!!! Thank god for my own parents, they are very into it and very interested in hearing about the planning.
Donna
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I think people aren't asking because your wedding is next year. Honestly I had/having a short engagement (less than 9 months) and there have been times when I wish we didn't have to only talk about the wedding, but it's not possible.
Continue to inform FH's family of things, but don't let it get to you if they don't respond the way you wanted them to.
My friends FMIL said since she was the mother of the groom all she needed to do was get a dress and show up.
MizStinker
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I totally understand and I am in the same boat. I dont think a far away date should excuse it either. That's just BS.
I cant give that much positve spin to this because I am in the same boat and it really hurts. Thank God for my Mother!
I just keep saying to myself at least she isn't up my bum like some of the MIL's I hear about esp on LIW's. That would be ten times worse.
Anytime you want to vent about it feel free to FM ....
sweetadeline
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
Awww... I can understand why your feelings might be hurt. But there's a bright side... at least FH's family isn't driving you crazy and criticizing every little thing! My FH's family barely ever asks about the wedding either, and I always remind myself that maybe it's better that way.
Bebalina
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
I don't think ur being too sensitive, i'm in the same boat, my FH's family hasnt' asked me anything either, and I'm glad, I just dont want them sticking their 2 cents in ..u know what I mean...sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise...
MegLehner
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
Thanks for this post - I wqas starting to feel realy bad cause my FILs weren't realy interested in the wedding, but now I do not feel so alone. They did offer to pay for the entertainment, but they didn't seem to want to even talk about it. So I had FH tell them how much and they wrote a check (so i guess I should be happy) but I just want them to say 'How is the planning going'. My mom said dont lt it bother me . . . But i brought up that my mom was looking into rehersal dinner places & they didn't even offer to pay or ship in. Im thinkng of ;leaving there names off of the invites now cause I am mad!
BYT - my FIL decided to tell me the other day that he doesnt agree w/ FH and I living together (weve been living together since June of 2003 - we live in Indianapolis for Godsake - they live on LI) & That 55% of couples that live together before marriage get a divorce -- Just what i want to hear 8 months b4 my wedding Sorry so long Had to vent
Bebalina
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
Posted by MegLehner
Thanks for this post - I wqas starting to feel realy bad cause my FILs weren't realy interested in the wedding, but now I do not feel so alone. They did offer to pay for the entertainment, but they didn't seem to want to even talk about it. So I had FH tell them how much and they wrote a check (so i guess I should be happy) but I just want them to say 'How is the planning going'. My mom said dont lt it bother me . . . But i brought up that my mom was looking into rehersal dinner places & they didn't even offer to pay or ship in. Im thinkng of ;leaving there names off of the invites now cause I am mad!
BYT - my FIL decided to tell me the other day that he doesnt agree w/ FH and I living together (weve been living together since June of 2003 - we live in Indianapolis for Godsake - they live on LI) & That 55% of couples that live together before marriage get a divorce -- Just what i want to hear 8 months b4 my wedding Sorry so long Had to vent
Meg...well u tell ur in laws, that many ppl who dont live together b4 marriage have the same chances as a couple that does live together to get divorced... maybe it'll get them to hush up... but divorce is never what anyone wants anyhow, so tell them to drop the topic on that. But I feel ur pain with Inlaws and they're paying of things, my inlaws dont say a work bout the wedding, no questions, think my parents are millionares, which they're not even close, so they didnt offer to pay for anything for the wedding, poor fh had to plead with them to give at least $10,000 towards the hall....I still havent seen that $ hopefully by next year, when the large payment to the hall gets submitted!
Just remember, In one ear and out the other....
Ang&Rich
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
Thanks everyone and big hugs to everyone experiencing the same thing. I probably am being too sensitive about it and I do agree that I should think of it on a positive note - no one driving me crazy. FH has been the one son to pretty much do his own thing - he's pretty independent and maybe this has a lot to do with things. 2005 is still a long way off but we are booking things and planning and I would appreciate their interest but I can't force that. The only thing his mom said to me was a story about how a friend called to say how wonderful it was that she paid for her other son's wedding. Of course she did no such thing and when she asked the person where they got that impression she told her because their names were on the invitations and that traditionally means that the parents are paying. She went on to tell me how the 'kids' did that on their own to be respectful and how nice it was. Yeah - okay well my parents aren't in the picture so we decided no names but our own since we're paying for the whole thing. What was the point in telling me that story?!
Bebalina
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
its ok ang....u needed to vent...let it out!!!
Ang&Rich
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Re: Am I being too Sensitive?
Meg to you!
My FH and bought a co-op in 2001 and we've been living together - happily - since. I think living together is a great idea before you get married! Living together in general is not a very easy thing - there are the stresses of bills and added responsibility and I for one wanted to make sure that we could handle that - we could successfully merge our lives together before getting married. Don't get me wrong - I understand and respect the choice to wait to live together but for us it has been a great experience. It has made our relationship stronger and I am confident that we can handle a household together going into this marriage. Wouldn't you prefer to know before getting married whether or not you could live with this person?
