I really love my sister very much and we are close but something is really bothering me. You see, she lives in an apartment without a washer/dryer. Well since I moved into my condo 3 years ago, and my house a few months ago she does laundry at my place. I mean, every single week. She has never brought her own supplies or offered us money towards the electric. I would say she does 12 loads per month at my place. And I am getting a bit annoyed really. I mean, I know that she doesn't have much extra cash every month but I don't think it is fair that she uses all my stuff, even when it is obvious that I am running low on something, and that Scott and I are paying for her laundry every single week. I don't want to sound like a cheapo because I am not that way at all, but with the baby coming soon we really need to save our money really. I mean, we have a lot of new expenses coming our way and 12 loads of her laundry per month add up with LIPA and supplies. So tonight I have to tell her that she has to cut down on the laundry at our house. I will be out of work for 12 weeks this winter on maternity leave then cutting down to p/t for 12 weeks so money is going to be tight for us. I wish she would see the added expense herself. I feel guilty but if Scott's sister was doing this I would make him talk to her. Scott never says a word about it though. Am I being unfair in this matter?
christy
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
I dont think you are being unfair. You have been very kind to allow your sister to do this for so long. If you explain it in a kind way she will understand. You really do need to think of each additional expense with your baby coming.
Leelee
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
Wow..there's no way I'd consider what you're doing unfair at all! In fact, you've been incredibly GENEROUS towards her!!
AtticaQT
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
It does sound like you have been extremely generous. It is more appropriate to say that your sister is being unfair to you. It seems a bit inconsiderate that your sister wont even use or offer to use her own soap. Aside from the electric bill, laundry detergent on its own can be pricey! Maybe she is just not realizing how generous you are being. I think if you approach her about it she will definitely rethink the situation.
considering the situation...PG...new house...losing an income soon...no I don't think that you are being unfair...maybe start off with telling her that you'll pay the electricity if she pays for all the supplies...
michele31
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
Honestly the problem is that i make a lot more money than she does and often, she ressents it. So she just figures what is the big deal for michele? it isn't a lot of money for her. but i think that is really unfair too.
you know...detergent can add up...and considering that you are going to be on one income...I don't think its too much to ask for...you could even make a deal for the 24 weeks that you will be not working FT...
how are feeling otherwise Michele?
stacedz
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
I don't yhink you are being unfair at all but I think you have to put your foot down if you don't want this to continue. Honestly, if my brother was so nice as to offer me his house to do laundry at, I would bring my own detergent, etc...but that is just me!
cluelessbride
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
I have a similar situation with my brother: because I make more than he does, he thinks I will always pick up the check when we go out.
I think that especially with the baby coming, it would be good for your sister to know that she cannot behave like the child anymore. She needs to know that your resources are all allocated first and foremost to your family.
I do not think you are being unfair at all. It sounds like she needs to grow up and stop treating you like you are her mother or caretaker, and treat you like a peer, and a sister instead.
Maybe you can say that with the baby coming, and from here on out, you guys will really have to watch every penny, and although it may seem minor to her, the small things add up.
Cindy
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
Hi Michele.
I think it is very nice of you to of let her do her laundry all this time. She could of at least brought her own detergent, etc, but as long as it has taken me to realize, not everyone thinks the way we would. Maybe you could explain to her that there are alot of changes now (your house, the baby, etc). I dont think it is asking alot for her to start going to a laundrymat. You helped her all this time and you can feel good that you did that for her this long. I know it is sunday night now and hopefully you are getting this off your chest at this very moment.
Karen H
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
From the LIPA Electric Appliance Energy Guide
Washing Mashine - 15.5 hours per month $1.29 Clothes Dryer - 17 hours per month $11.78
It doesn't give a breakdown for the water heater or water and of course you have to add in detergent and softner if you use it. Overall, you're probably looking at $20 a month give or take - or $240 a year.
If talking to her doesn't work and you're still going to let her come over I'd conveniently be out of detergent and softner when she says she's coming to do the laundry, and tell her pick some up, and add a few other things on too, like milk or soda that you need. When you don't offer to pay her she might see the light real quick.
Suzanne
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
I would be annoyed at that to. And I think its nice that your hubby hasnt said anything, She should AT LEAST come over with detergent and softner. Im sure if you tell her exactly how you have explained it here with being PG and going P/T soon she will understand. hopw it works out.
prncssrachel
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
No, I think you need to say something. My sister and I always used my mother's washer, and although she NEVER would have asked us for money or at least to buy our own supplies, we always bought enough for the entire family. Maybe you can suggest nicely that, while you don't mind her using the laundry, it is costly and could she please bring her own supplies at least. I think that is fair to say the least. I know you don't want to offend her, but she probably just doesn't realize that it is rude. Good luck!
butterfly20
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
id be annoyed and definately say something...
michele31
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
I didn't say anything tonight because she was in a bad mood and if you knew my sister you would know that means she is in a fighin mood. but i am going to say something this week to her. I have to because I am upset over it. I am also upset that we agreed to chip in for a gift for my stepmom's b-day, back in March, and she has yet to mention one penny of the money she owes me for it ($75). She is always upset over something and stays in a dead end job. So she is always complaining about having no money...yada...yadaa...yada... Then other day she was going to the Butcher and asked if I wanted anything so i said to get me some sausage for Scott and she took the $7.00 bucks from me. I think that honestly upset me and started me on this whole thing. I don't care about $7 but I feel like she doesn't care one bit about how much her stuff is costing me. thanks for listening to my rant....
jennbaby
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
she actually took the $7 after using your washer/dryer all the time? I am sorry but thats nerve. To me thats like when you drive all over and someone don't offer you gas money, same type of scenario if you know what I mean.
I'd definately tell her your feelings! (Or I will )
aliasPook
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Re: Am I being unfair? a bit of a rant
I would definately say something. She probably doesn't even realize it, but she is using you.
