Am I being unreasonable?

Well your FH does have a point that spending $35K is a lot for something that is only 6 hours; BUT you have the memories; pictures etc to last you a life time. I personally agree with him and feel that there are definitely ways to cut back your wedding expenses. Unless you’ve got a strong wedding fund already saved spending $35K that you really don’t have doesn’t make much sense (just my opinion).

There are SO many ways to save on weddings-Try pitching the idea to him-maybe DIY favors; scale back your guest list; look for halls that are at a lower pp price point?? You hit the nail on the head; it’s not about the wedding; it’s about the marriage. But you still want to have “Your Day.” You guys just have to find a way to compromise & make that day the one you BOTH want. If you’re set on a particular hall maybe move to a different day of the week or do a daytime if that means it will save you money.

I understand those people that spend $30K+ on weddings; I’m sure if I had that extra $$ I would do it too; but when I’m working with a smaller budget; I find ways to make things JUST AS NICE but at a fraction of the costs.

I don’t know what his desired budget is…$5K isn’t gonna happen LOL! Not at 150 people. MAYBE $15K depending on how low you get your hall; but then you’d have to cut your budget in a lot of other areas too. Maybe you can at least start by looking at halls that are lower but still beautiful so that you can possibly try to lower your wedding costs. He’s not going to be willing to book a hall with the idea of a $35K wedding. I’ve learned from my FH; men are very black & white. They need to see things laid out in front of them. Show him a hall that is a lower costs; do the math for the service change & gratuity; add all the other expenses (flowers; limo; dj; photo) and let him see exactly how much lower you guys can get the costs-it will take a lot of homework; but if he sees “Oh we can do this for a lower costs” something more realistic in his eyes; it will make him more willing to book a hall and continue with the wedding planning.

Trust me I understand your pain!! FH wanted to just go to the Caribbean; but that really wasn’t what I wanted to do; so now I’m paying the costs literally. You’ve got to find a middle ground that makes you both happy. Because he’s not going to just say “Fine pay whatever price if it makes you happy” (As much as we want him too). So be prepared for some level of disappointment. Maybe you won’t get that $3K Kenneth Pool gown; but you’ll have an amazing day at a venue that fits in your budget; with other more budget friendly things and you’ll STILL HAVE A PERFECT DAY ?

WOW that was a long post! Sorry!! LOL!!!

big hugs for you ! you are the best! great advice..