am I being unreasonable?

plz be honest (just not brutally so, no one wants a crying Regy LOL)

my mom's BFF's daughter is getting married a few months after me. the entire family is invited to mine. they sent the invite very early and me and FH RSVPed yes.
Now we receive their RSVP and its yes for her parents and no for her and her FH.
my mom found out that the reason she is not coming to my wedding is b/c she has a bparty to go to for a friend (a weekend somewhere).
As it is that my parents cant come to that wedding, I am the fam representative.

I am really pizzed. I mean where she's going for bparty is not that far so she can make it IMO to my wedding. Now I dont want to go to her wedding.
Am I being unreasonable? should I just go cause her parents are coming to mine?

hmm... thats a toughy. Althogh I think what she is doing is wrong. I would probably be the bigger person and still attend her wedding. Especially if you are acting as the rep of your own family.

I might give less than I planned on giving though bc I am a biotch like that

This is how I'd make the decision...

If the roles were reversed and you had a weekend away bparty for a good friend to go to that weekend... would you go to her wedding instead?

I fyou wouldn't go, don't be pissed and go to her weddingf anyway

If you would honestly cut your trip short and go to her wedding... then don't go.

If that makes sense.

maybe she found out about the bparty first?

or i mean worst case scenario.. she doesn't want to come to yours ( i dont know why she wouldn't but i guess its poss )

in which case... who cares? she doesn't want to come.

if you want to go, then go!

if you dont want to go. then don't go.

i wouldn't make a big deal about it though?

ehh id be upset ..but at least some1 from ehr fam is coming to yours.

maybe the bparty is for 1 of her closest friends.

dont get too upset cuz she might send u a gift lol

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Posted by soontobecruz

I might give less than I planned on giving though bc I am a biotch like that

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OMG that is exactly what I said to FH if we do go
great minds think alike I guess

imo i think you're being a little unreasonable and here's why. if you were good friends with her, then yes i'd be insulted. but you're not. and she is probably very good friends with the other girl if she was invited to her b-party (im assuming that means bachelorette, not birthday... if it's bday, then thats a whole 'nother story). this means one of her close friends is having a bachelorette party and she definitely needs to go to that. i doubt she is spiting you. i could definitely see you being a little irked but not pissed, expecially to the point of no longer wanting to go to her wedding. if one of my bffs was having a b-party, it would def take precedence over my mom's best friend's daughter's wedding, no matter what.

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Posted by regy_k

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Posted by soontobecruz

I might give less than I planned on giving though bc I am a biotch like that

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OMG that is exactly what I said to FH if we do go
great minds think alike I guess

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Guess so!

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Posted by laurenandmike618


imo i think you're being a little unreasonable and here's why. if you were good friends with her, then yes i'd be insulted. but you're not. and she is probably very good friends with the other girl if she was invited to her b-party (im assuming that means bachelorette, not birthday... if it's bday, then thats a whole 'nother story). this means one of her close friends is having a bachelorette party and she definitely needs to go to that. i doubt she is spiting you. i could definitely see you being a little irked but not pissed, expecially to the point of no longer wanting to go to her wedding. if one of my bffs was having a b-party, it would def take precedence over my mom's best friend's daughter's wedding, no matter what.

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Sorry I disagree... she can always take her out another night. Weddings only happen once (hopefully)

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Posted by weddingbees

maybe she found out about the bparty first?

or i mean worst case scenario.. she doesn't want to come to yours ( i dont know why she wouldn't but i guess its poss )

in which case... who cares? she doesn't want to come.

if you want to go, then go!

if you dont want to go. then don't go.

i wouldn't make a big deal about it though?

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I agree...it's your mom's friend's kid, but you didn't say if you're really tight with her. If you guys are more like acquaintances than actual friends, then I wouldn't be mad. She's going to a friend's bach party, which may have been planned awhile ago.

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

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Posted by weddingbees

maybe she found out about the bparty first?

or i mean worst case scenario.. she doesn't want to come to yours ( i dont know why she wouldn't but i guess its poss )

in which case... who cares? she doesn't want to come.

if you want to go, then go!

if you dont want to go. then don't go.

i wouldn't make a big deal about it though?

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I agree...it's your mom's friend's kid, but you didn't say if you're really tight with her. If you guys are more like acquaintances than actual friends, then I wouldn't be mad. She's going to a friend's bach party, which may have been planned awhile ago.

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this is a very good point. I wanted to go for my mom who is dying to go but cant b/c of living in Israel.
the girl her brother and me all grew up together, so that is why I took offense to that.
but I guess it all does come down to how much I really want to be there for my mom
ugh I hate these politics

she probably just found out about the bparty first and is probably good friends with the girl.

its not a dig at you, regy-girl.

dont sweat it, babe.

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Posted by weddingbees

she probably just found out about the bparty first and is probably good friends with the girl.

its not a dig at you, regy-girl.

dont sweat it, babe.

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thanks Becki!
I guess it took me off by surprise that she isnt coming and I am 'acting out'. I think my mom will never let me NOT go

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Posted by soontobecruz

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Posted by laurenandmike618


imo i think you're being a little unreasonable and here's why. if you were good friends with her, then yes i'd be insulted. but you're not. and she is probably very good friends with the other girl if she was invited to her b-party (im assuming that means bachelorette, not birthday... if it's bday, then thats a whole 'nother story). this means one of her close friends is having a bachelorette party and she definitely needs to go to that. i doubt she is spiting you. i could definitely see you being a little irked but not pissed, expecially to the point of no longer wanting to go to her wedding. if one of my bffs was having a b-party, it would def take precedence over my mom's best friend's daughter's wedding, no matter what.

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Sorry I disagree... she can always take her out another night. Weddings only happen once (hopefully)

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but she's not friends with her. regy herself said she's going bc of politics so if they were tight, id say yeah this girl needs to be at regy's wedding. but they're not. so regy is going bc her parents can't, but this girls parents are going to regy's so the girl doesnt need to go, especially with her close friend's bachelorette party on the same day (if i read all this correctly). idk, if one of my friends couldnt come to my bachelorette party bc they needed to go to a wedding of someone who they werent even friends with, id be hurt. so i think this needs to be looked at from that girl's perspective. she's in a tough spot.

and regy - u have done nothing but post really nice responses to all my posts so please don't take my comments personally. im just trying to give you that girl's perspective... kinda like the shoe on the other foot thing.

its hard not to take things like that personally... my sister told me the other day that one of our friends might be going on a cruise during my wedding so they wont come... i will admit that it bothered me... i went to their wedding... they knew when mine was... they couldnt go on a cruise a different week... so i definitely understand what youre thinking...

but i agree with everyone... you should go to her wedding...

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Posted by laurenandmike618
but she's not friends with her. regy herself said she's going bc of politics so if they were tight, id say yeah this girl needs to be at regy's wedding. but they're not. so regy is going bc her parents can't, but this girls parents are going to regy's so the girl doesnt need to go, especially with her close friend's bachelorette party on the same day (if i read all this correctly). idk, if one of my friends couldnt come to my bachelorette party bc they needed to go to a wedding of someone who they werent even friends with, id be hurt. so i think this needs to be looked at from that girl's perspective. she's in a tough spot.

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ye Lauren u understood everything correctly. I see ur point and I guess I am being a brat LOL
thanks for ur input