I am staying at my parents' house the night before so I can get ready there in the morning. I have two brothers, a sister and my grandmother will be there too, plus my parents. There are three full bathrooms and four bedrooms. My mother told me on Monday that my aunt uncle and three kids (all under that age of six) will be staying with us that night also. (Driving up from VA) I was upset and told my mother so. She said she didn't have to justify her actions to me and that it will be 'fine'. When I expressed that, on the most important day of my life, I may be anxious, excited, and was looking forward to waking up relaxed for an hour before the craze began, she shut me down. Now my father says I am just micromanaging. When I told him I bounced it off some people and they expressed the same concerns I had, he said that those people were judging my family (including my therapist). Funnily enough, my aunt and I had a conversation about this months ago and, at that time, she didn't want to be anywhere near that wedding morning at my parent's house. Will it really matter all that much? Am I making too big a deal of this in my mind?
Ang&Rich
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
I would also be frustrated by this as well but on the other hand it's just something that has to be dealt with. I think the best thing to do now is just make the best of it. Talk to your mom about designating certain areas as bridal areas. For example one bathroom will be for the bride and obviously your room and hers will be used for dressing and pictures. In the end this might actually be something you're happy about - you'll be surrounded by people to help out and I'm sure there will be some great pictures too! Just be sure to have everyone on your schedule that day - not the other way around.
Steph&Steve
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
I'm a Groom and even I would be far away from that house - With all the money being spent, I'd take another $100.00 and relax alone or with a few close friends the night before in a hotel room.
ChristineC68
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
I agree with you 1253543156854%
I think that's way too many people to have in the house and I so surprised that your parents are completely disregarding how you feel about it.
My mother's brother & SIL stayed with her for a couple of days before the wedding but they left the night before so my sister and I could stay there and the three of us could get ready without a houseful of people underfoot.
beachbride22
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
Posted by Ang&Rich
I would also be frustrated by this as well but on the other hand it's just something that has to be dealt with. I think the best thing to do now is just make the best of it. Talk to your mom about designating certain areas as bridal areas. For example one bathroom will be for the bride and obviously your room and hers will be used for dressing and pictures. In the end this might actually be something you're happy about - you'll be surrounded by people to help out and I'm sure there will be some great pictures too! Just be sure to have everyone on your schedule that day - not the other way around.
Yeah, it looks like I'm going to have to grin and bear it. And I;m sure it will be a nice time. It's more the disregard for my feelings that is throwing me for a huge loop. Those are good suggestions, though. Thanks.
shelly3950
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
i totally understand. I am in a similar situation. My aunt is coming in from Paris with her 4 kids from age 5-18 and her husband, who she does not get along with. I told my mom that wherever my aunt and her husband stay, I am staying somewhere else (like at my sister's- also in LI). The kids I love, but I can't deal with their fighting. Everyone was there on my sister's wedding day and it was very hectic. For her, we woke up so early and went straight to teh salon so it wasn't much of an issue. she missed all the yellnig and screaming. But my wedding is a lot later than my sister's and I don't want to hear my aunt fighting (they fight nasty) on my wedding day.
If you don't another have a place to stay, then you will just have to grin and bear it. Sit outside, read the paper, do whateer you can to separate yourself from the craziness! Ihave a feeling we will all be so bubbly from the idea of getting married that day that most of it won't bother us.
Kelly9904
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
I totally agree with you.
In fact my mom told my brother (who lives upstate) that he cant stay in our house that night b/c it would be too hectic with me and my other girls coming to take pics and all that! So he is staying with my other brother!
kel2004
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
Wow that is horrible. If I were you I would stay somewhere else. I already warned my mom that I don't want any out of town guests staying with us the night before the wedding.
tourist
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
I'd be upset & how they handled it too. I am worried that I am going to have thsoe issues, feelign int eh way, and it wil jsut be my paents, my brother & I, & they have 2 bathrooms, but my borther is always tellign me I am in te way when I coem home, b/c he is not used to me being there. And being a guy, he just doesn't get it, that this will be the ONE day, to not say anything.
I'm hoping he sleeps late,
Well, you asked, & they didn't listen to yuo, so your choices are to not stay there, or make the best of it.
If you dont' dwell on it, it won't be that bad. Just put a sign on the bathroomdoor- This bathroom for the bride only- untill 11am ( or whenever you get your hair done)
Can you make sure you won't be sharing a room with anyone?
JimmysBride
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
Whoa! I would be MILES away from that house!!! I totally agree with you and I don't think you are micromanaging. I would probably tell my mom, 'okay then, I'll be getting ready at the hotel, hope to see you there'.
My FH is kicking his entire family out the night before the wedding!! His mom, dad, his sisters and their husbands -- everyone! He's making them all pay for a hotel and there's PLENTY of room for all of them at the house -- he just refuses to deal with that!
I unfortuantely may be in a similar situation but it's because I chose to get ready at my aunt's house and I can't tell her what to do at her house, she's doing me a favor b/c my mom lives in FL. But, if it was my MOM and I was getting ready at her house, I would totally expect her to want to accomodate me if she could.
Rae912
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
Your not crazy at all. My parents have decided to sell their house and buy 2 condos. 1 on LI and 1 in Florida. They are on a waiting list for the LI one and before they can get into that one, they are going to rent a 1 BEDROOM APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I asked my mom, what am I going to do when I come home for a visit or for the wedding. She so casually said, 'oh well we can just put you up in a hotel' I dont know, maybe Im crazy, I dont want to stay in a hotel I want to stay in A HOME!!!! I dont know, maybe I can crash at one of my brothers houses. But its still not exactly what I imagined. Actually its not even close.
TOURIST- you could always drug your brother, then hed sleep late..lol
Scoop
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
I don't blame you for being frustrated. We had family fly in from overseas and stayed at my parents house. I said as long as I slept in my own bed and had first dibs at the bathroom, then it would be ok. It worked out fine. I got ready upstairs and everyone else was downstairs.
butterfly20
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
if it were me id probably rent a hotel room and use that to sleep in and get ready at... its also such a personal day, that i would want it intimate in the morning, not a mad house..
dm24angel
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
YOur not crazy! I would ( this is just me) say I wasnt staying there, I know I will be a wreck and need private...quiet time....I would suggest speaking to your aunt about it, there must be a way to manage to keep your space!
bellepoque
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
You are not crazy nor are you trying to micromanage. Every other month, I have had a conversation with my mother regarding the night before the wedding and the day of the wedding and the preparation for the wedding. From spending the night at their home to the bridesmaids coming over for brunch, to hair and makeup being done at the house to transportation to the site, because that someone else will be staying at the house that night or better yet, I'll be sharing a room with a sibling. It's hard place to be. I know that if I was in your situation I would be really pissed off and hurt, but eventually I would just grin and bear it. Good luck with everything. Just vent it all out prior to the night. You do not want to be feeling any residual animosity then.
tinkerb30
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
No, you are not crazy. I don't even want to be around my family when I get ready, I am going to be so anxious and my family drives me crazy on an everyday basis as it is. So I say.... meet ya there! I will be getting ready in a hotel not telling them what room I'm in!
Leslie
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
I wouldn't be able to handle that....definitely not on my wedding day!
I'm staying at my mother's house - it will just be the two of us (I already know I won't sleep a wink from the anticipation!)
My sister, her husband and my niece and nephew (from Massachusetts) who would normally stay at my mother's - will stay at the Marriott that night.
I think your parents should have a little compassion for you on such a special day!
nferrandi
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Re: Am I crazy? (long-vent)
FH and I, and our parents, all live in White Plains. I didn't want to be stressed the morning of the wedding, so I got 2 hotels rooms for me and my bridal party. I think if you really feel there are going to be issues the morning of, look into getting a hotel room with your MOH, your mom can come in the morning to help you get ready.
